Question:
Please don't tell me to look in the library.........reaching goal weight.

I have been all through the library, many times. I know there are some people on this site that hate these questions, but I need to hear from someone in the here and now. I am 14 months out from surgery, I cannot seem to make it to goal, I still need to lose at least 20 more pounds, would like to lose 30. I know, exercise, cut out the carbs, drink more water, etc. Been there, done that. I have not lost anything for 2 months now. I just want to know if there is anyone out there with similar stats that still made it to goal, and how? Yes I feel better, yes I look better, but I have never been so close to being normal and want to make it the rest of the way. BTW open RNY in July 2001, started at 266 pounds, currently down to 159.........I would really appreciate any advice or hearing someone else's story. Thank you all so much!    — Cory F. (posted on September 17, 2002)


September 16, 2002
Cory: I know you don't want to hear this, but sometimes we have to be grateful for what we have and go on with our lives.Your time would be better spent with a therapist finding out why you cannot accept yourself at this wonderful and healthy weight. We love you and are proud of you and want you to be proud of yourself. The only answer to your question is, of course, eat less and exercise more. But I truly believe you are where your body wants to be for now.
   — faybay

September 16, 2002
amen, Fay.
   — Vicki L.

September 16, 2002
Cory, I am right there with you. Surgery 11/9/01, start wt. 245, down 91 lbs. to 154. I don't know how tall you are, but in your photos it appears that you are at a great weight for your height. And I completely understand the wanting to lose those last pounds. Yes, our main goal was to get healthy, and we did that, but we can also strive for the ultimate goal, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Your loss chart seems to be going very well, perhaps it has slowed a lot lately, but that is BECAUSE you are so close to goal. It took me 2 months to lose 5 lbs. It is really sllloooowwwww, and that can be frustrating. But your loss has not stopped. Its good that it is slow at this point. If you were losing 10 or 20 lbs. a month still, you would be worried that you would get severely underweight. And also keep in mind that you have approx. 15-20 lb. of excess skin on your body. Subtract that from your weight right now. That puts you around 140. Is that closer to where you want to be? You may think that you may not have that much skin, but when people get their tummies done, they remove around 10 lbs. Then you have to add the extra skin everywhere else on your body. So really, you are just about where you want to be! I would love to be 135 at 5'6". But I think that might be too small for me, that would actually be about 120 with extra skin. Try not to rely on what the numbers are telling you, and I know I need to listen to my own advice here:~) You are doing great...you look super! Keep up the great work!
   — Cheri M.

September 16, 2002
Dear Cory, Just a couple days ago I posted almost the same question, but I was gaining 5lbs and then losing it and cant seem to get to my goal weight which is also about 145lbs. I am 166lb to 159lbs depending on what darn day I weigh myself. I am also approx 14 months out and was driving myself stir crazy wondering what im doing wrong, and why cant I lost that last 20lbs or so. Everyone keeps on reassuring me that I will get there, that my body is just playing catch up, but I must admit im scared. I really dont want to stop now either, Ive worked so hard to get to this point, I dont plan on giving up now. I do the low carbs, high protein, and lots of water, and exercise 5 times a week. I hope by december im at goal. I know im not goig to give up now, plus I havent had my TT yet, which my insurance has already denied me once, but plan on fighting just as I did for my open RNY. Just wanted to let you know your not alone, and keep me posted on how your doing. Hang in there :))
   — Ann A.

September 17, 2002
IF YOU REAKLLY WANT to get the last 20 pounds off! Exerciise for 5 hours a night of heavy grueling type activities. I shoeveled debris and did demolition at a friends house damaged by fire for a few weeks. My appetite increased but I lost 10 pounds in a short time when I was nearly at goaL. My surgeon says the last 20 pounds is the patients responsibility.
   — bob-haller

September 17, 2002
My gosh girl, you look great!! I hope you can accept yourself as you are and start to enjoy life. You deserve it.
   — sherry H.

September 17, 2002
This is a frustrating place for us to be, isn't it? I started at 250 and am down to 135 or 140 depending on what day of the week it is. I'd like to be 125 - that's my dream. However (yes, I'm probably going to say something you don't want to hear) I've accepted that I am not ever going to be 125. Not because I don't have the ability to get to 125 - anyone can lose weight - but because my body seems to be happiest between 135 and 140. I call it my "sweet spot". It's the place where your body physically feels most comfortable and healthy. Consider that Marilyn Monroe, often regarded as the most beautiful movie star ever, wore a size 14/16. Catherine Zeta Jones who I personally think is the most beautiful movie star ever wears an 8 or 10. I'd say at 159 pounds you're absolutely normal even though you'd like to weigh a bit less. Society has really changed in their views of what a normal woman is considering a 12-14-16 was normal in the 60's and now society wants us to be a 4 or 6. When I initially had surgery my goal was not a weight but a size. I wanted to wear a single digit size - anything 9 or less. Well, I wear an 8 or 10 occasionally a 12 and even occasionally a 6 (which goes to show you that some designers are more giving than others, huh?). I went through a period around 15 months post op where I made myself crazy wanting to lose 15 to 20 more pounds. Then one day I realized I was putting my self on an emotional roller coaster by keeping myself on an eternal diet which is exactly what I didn't want to do. I gave up the dream of being a 6 and realized that I was normal. I just said "the heck with all this frustration". I'm proud of my accomplishment and really proud of yours too. It took a little while for me to get comfortable in my skin and it may take a little while for you too. Keep pursuing your goal if you want to but don't be too surprised if you wake up one day and realize that you're perfectly o.k. just like you are. Best wishes to you!!
   — ronascott

September 17, 2002
Cori, you look so wonderful. Please be patient with yourself. I reached a point at about 12 months where I seemed to flucuate between 123-126. I started tracking it once a month instead of every week and realized that over a period of time, I was losing about 1-2 lbs, sometimes even more, per month. I weighed 123 on May 18th, I weighed 116 on Sept. 14th. Today it's probably closer to 120. Flucuations happen to all "normal" people. Consider yourself having reached "normal". You certainly look normal to me. Don't focus so much on the numbers. As you can see, mine would be enough to drive anyone crazy.
   — Teri D.

September 17, 2002
CHART WEIGHT for post op WLS doesnt take into the affects of MOs heavier excess skin, or lower body bones and muscles, devloped from carrying around all that excess weight for a lifetime. Bones dont loose weight fast, it takes many years. Ideal weight should be personal. Where do YOU feel and look good? My surgeon says post ops who settle in and dont fight the last few pounds keep the loss better. I tend to believe this! Rembering my yo yo diet induced weight gains:( Hey if you feel and look good who cares what a chart says!!!!!
   — bob-haller

September 17, 2002
Cory, I started at 289, I stand 5'6, and had my surgery on July 9th, 2001. I stayed at 162 for 2 1/2 mos, and than I just started losing again. I made no changes. I think you body needs time to adjust to the weight you have already lost. I am now at 155 and have done nothing different. My goal is 150, I'm 5 pounds away. 1 pound from being a normal weight according to the BMI chart. I would not be too concerned at this oint, although I just about drove myself crazy wondering why I was not losing. Hang in there, and I bet the same will happen to you. You really look great.
   — Valerie M.

September 17, 2002
Cory...I looked at your profile, and girl you look fantastic! I started at 276, and am down to 201 (and plateauing there as usual for 3 weeks or so). My personal goal is around 160...I've been that weight before and I wore a size 14 and looked pretty good (I'm 5'8"). But if I make it to 170-180, I will still be happy. I know my bones are more dense now from carrying around all that weight for so long, so I may even be a 14/16 at 180, who knows? We'll just have to see. Anyway, like previous posters said, your body may be hanging onto a pre-programmed "set point" weight and it may be difficult to get under it. Eat healthy and keep up your exercise and know that your WLS has been successful...and YOU are successful! Hugs, Joy
   — [Deactivated Member]

September 17, 2002
Cory, take encouragement from those who say that it does continue, just very slowly. Also take encouragement from those that tell you your bones and skin weigh more after carrying around excess weight for so long-thats tru in my case as I weigh more than I look. And finally, take encouragment from those that have seen your pics, like me, and think you look awesome! A size 8, girl, you HAVE made it. Good job...
   — Cindy R.

September 17, 2002
I want to thank all of you for the oh so kind words. I guess you all are right, maybe I should just focus on how far I have come. It's just all my life, I dreamed of being thin and attractive, and this is the closest I have ever been. Maybe I am just seeing myself as I was just over a year ago. I will focus on acceptance (and hope a few more pounds sneak off while I do). Sorry to sound like such a crybaby, guess sometimes it is easy to get frustrated. Again, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!
   — Cory F.

September 17, 2002
Cory, boy do I understand how you feel! I'm 16 months out and probally will never get to goal which is 129 (mid range of normal for my short height). I'm around 38 pounds away. I'm still very heavy... but not obese. I'm disappointed, yet counting my blessings that I'm "somewhat healthy", and can blend into a crowd now and not stand out. I can now do many things I could'nt before such as, wipe my butt, tie my shoes, cross my legs, wear a loose 34 jeans instead of 56(hope for 30), not sweat all the time, climb up on things, and many others. So I try to think of the long way I've come. Yes I do mourn the fact I'll probally not get in the normal range! The window has or will be closing. However, if nothing else, I pray we BOTH can keep whatever weight we've lost OFF. As WLS is NOT XXX pounds lost forever. We must be diligent. (That may be a battle). PS... you do look good! ;)
   — Danmark




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