Question:
Help! I am sooooo scared!
I am scheduled to have surgery on July 29th and I thought that I was more than ready? Now I find myself scared. I guess it does not help that I went to the memorial site and read every single name and profile on it! I did not think that I would be affected by it but I am. Any suggestions for surviving the next 26 days? — Hotdiva (posted on July 2, 2002)
July 2, 2002
I have some advice. STAY AWAY FROM THE MEMORIAL PAGE! Also when you get all
worked up, take a few deep breaths and think about how great you will look
and feel after surgery. That's what I have been doing (surgery date Aug
7th.) and it works very well!
— fropunka
July 2, 2002
I also read the memorial page shortly before my surgery and freaked! I
would suggest that you balance that by looking at before and after photos -
Surgery is a risk and it should not be minimized, but the results of WLS is
a gift!
Good luck
— Jean K.
July 2, 2002
I saw someone suggest this and thought it was a good idea: Go to the peers
page for your state. Be sure to click show all names. Boy, there are lots
of names there, huh? Now go to the memorials page and see how many are from
your state. Not too many, I'll bet. And a lot of these people had health
problems to begin with. Some of them died from causes other than WLS, too.
It is sad that some people don't make it and you are absolutely NORMAL to
be scared. It is major surgery after all! But odds are you will be just
fine. If you need encouragement, visit the gallery. You can click away for
HOURS and see picture after picture of WLS success stories. And dream of
putting YOUR picture up there before long!
— ctyst
July 2, 2002
Isabella, it's always good to know the truth-the good and bad about WLS,
but DO NOT LINGER on memorials! As a matter-of-fact, pray, meditate and
make new friends in your state and abroad. STAY AWAY FROM THE MEMORIAL PAGE
since it apparently has a negative affect on you!
— yourdivaness
July 2, 2002
For inspiration I always look at the before and after pictures. Good Luck
— Robert L.
July 2, 2002
I feel for you! I just had surgery on June 12th and felt the same. I also
looked at the Memorial Page. My thought was, God will take care of me. I
was strangely calm the day before surgery. My advice is to go out and eat
your favorite foods as much as you want (you'll miss them, but NOT the
weight afterwards) and check out those before and after pics!
— emilyfink
July 2, 2002
I would not suggest not looking at the memorial page or staying away from
it. It is reality. My surgery is on August 13 and amazingly enough I was
just at the memorial site the other night. Not a good feeling when reading
them but it helps me keeps things in perspective and know what to expect as
far as possible complications. Like most of the other people said, it is
not likely and your chances of actually dying are very slim. The way I see
it hon is very blunt. You are going to die at the rate you are going at
now, so the surgery is more likely to save your life than to end it. Plus
none of us know when our time is to go home with our Lord. You are not
going to go home unless that is his plan for you. If I go while in surgery
or shortly there after I am fine with that. I have 4 young daughters and I
don't want to leave them but I know that when it is my time there is not a
thing I can do about it. I will welcome it as there are a lot of loved
ones waiting for me on the other side. Of course I would love to stay here
and raise my girls and live a long happy life with my husband but like I
said it is not my choice. God already knows that you are going to have the
surgery. He knows how the outcome with be. You just trust in him. When
you learn about possible problems or hear of them, just take that as more
knowledge to help you better prepare for the possiblilities.
This surgery has saved many many lifes and givin so many people the
opportunity to lead a normal and healthy lifestyle which we have all been
wanting. I think that you will feel so much better once it is done and
over with and you can go on being a total loser. But until that time comes
prepare yourself with small walks and drink protien or eat lots of it.
Take vitamen and drink water. That will help your recovery time from what
I am told. You will be fine....you keep your chin up and your eyes on God
as he is the master of our lives and knows all. I hope to hear of your
wonderful success after your surgery. Take care and email me if you like
so we can chat.
Hugs*
— Michelle J.
July 2, 2002
Isabella, such a beautiful name! Its quite normal to feel nervous, this is
major surgery and a life changing decision-you are leaving your old
friends, fat and food, behind. Reexamine why you made the decision to have
surgery. Then, temper that with the picture of the new you- free from the
layers of fat, with energy and good health. Before you know it it will be
over and your on your way to good health. Be prepared to hate life early
one-most of us have a hard month or so "adjusting", but by a few
months out, your very happy, and lookin'good!
— Cindy R.
July 2, 2002
Isabella, I can completely relate to what you are saying. I
am scheduled for surgery on July16th. Last night, I was
reading the memorial page and spent several hours afterwards
crying, doubting myself, and finally praying/meditating. It is
a BIG deal and I think that we are completely normal in our
fears/worries. I finally decided that I know that I have
done my research, I know that I have choosing my surgeon well,
I know that I have been tested and re-tested and that I am
healthy and therefore a good surgical candidate; I know that
I have done all thatI can to mimimize my risks and now I have
to allow myself to rest in my Father God and in the knowledge
that He never sleeps...He never slumbers...that He is always
watching over me. If you want to chat, you can email me
[email protected]
— Heather N.
July 2, 2002
My surgery is scheduled for July 10th, and I kinda know where you are
coming from with your fears. I went to the WLS Memorial page too, and read
all the entries. At first it kind of shook me up, then I went back and paid
attention to what I was reading. If you notice, over half of the people on
that page DIED WAITING FOR SURGERY. The surgery didn't kill them, being
overweight did. If you read through again, you will also see that most of
these folks had a VERY high BMI. We all know that the higher the BMI is,
the more risky the surgery. The higher the BMI, the riskier it is to do
nothing about it. So what about the others that didn't pass while waiting
for surgery, or have an excessive BMI? Most of them had known clotting / or
pulmonary issues. Nobody can say if the surgery was responsible or not.
After I realized these 2 facts, I felt alot better about my surgery. Of
course there are risks... so I went and read through all the profiles on
the site. Testimony after testimony about the wonderful life changing
events that have happened to people because they decided to take control of
their life with WLS. I decided the odds are overwhelmingly in my favor.
I also went for my pre-admission testing today, and I have to say, I feel
very much calmer now than before. I realized that there will be a team of
professionals there that are going to be looking after my best interests. I
realized that THEY are confident that I will do just fine, so -I- should be
confident as well. Focus on the positive, think of all the things that are
worth living for that you will be able to do 1 year after this surgery. For
me, that did the trick. Best of wishes to you for a successful surgery and
a speedy recovery :)
— Greg P.
July 2, 2002
i remember when my sister was going in for surgery and told me about the
memorial page. about a week before my surgery i did the same thing. i read
and read and cried. i just knew in my heart that i made the right decision
for me. i think we all feel the need to check out that page. my surgery was
2 months ago today and i'm down about 40 pounds. i have never regretted my
decision. good luck...
— candymom64
July 2, 2002
It's a real pity that there isn't a website online somewhere that listed
all those who died due to complications of obesity (people who did NOT have
WLS). Whenever I read a memorial, I bare in mind what my pcp said to
me...there is a .01 chance I'll die on the table and .02 that I'll die from
complications of the surgery. There is a 90% chance I'll die prematurely
from something related to my weight (barring cancer, auto accident, etc.).
A sobering thought! Good luck and hang tough - I'm going in on the 22nd so
emotionally I know what you're going thru. It IS rough because it is OUR
decision and our choice. But I've utilized all my other options all ready.
This is my last ditch effort to reclaim my life!
— [Deactivated Member]
July 3, 2002
You will be ok. Just keep saying that. No more looking in the memorials!
You know the reasons you are choosing and you know the risks. The reasons
must be bigger than the risks. You could ask your self the
question..."Can I live like I am?" Good Luck and God bless!
Mary
— Mary S.
July 3, 2002
I had the same problems, and for me, the answer was the hardest, longest,
most passionate and intense prayer I've ever handed up... it may sound a
little strange, but it really did help me...
— Fallon D.
July 7, 2002
I haven't had my surgery yet. My first consultaiton is on
July 29th same day as your surgery. I finally came to terms with myself and
decided that if I did'nt have the surgery I'd be dead before the age of 60.
I'm 52 now and have acid
reflex and sleep atena, arthritis in my knees and I have experienced
shortness of breath. My weight keeps me from most physical acivites, I
weigh 257 and I'm only 5 foot 1 inch. I have also had bouts of depression.
I'm looking forward to being able to buy clothes off the rack and not
having to hunt for something that will look half way decent from the fat
lady section. I wish you well.
— Linda G.
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