Question:
Need help getting back on track.

I am almost 10 months out and have only lost 62 pounds. I know it is my own fault. I lost alot in the first couple of months but since February or March I have lost hardly anything. My problem is I don't dump on sugar. The other problem is night eating. I can't seem to get a hold on that one. One problem is that they have a vending machine in the building where I live and no matter how good my intentions are, I end up going and getting junk out of it. I just want the surgery to work for me. Right now, it feels like I outsmarted it, and I don't like it. Basically, I need help getting control of head hunger and night eating and everything else. Any help would be appreciated. DOn't be too judgemental though, we all come to this site for help and we all know what it is like to be judged unfairly.    — Lois M. (posted on June 30, 2002)

June 29, 2002
You say you don't want to be judged unfairly. But you know that you need a kick in the rear. The sweet "don't be so hard on yourself" or "wow 62 pounds is great" type of responses may not make you feel as bad about what's going on but will they really help you with your original question ("need help getting back on track"). I'm going to save the response that I think you really need (they like to call me Dr. Phil after the guy that's on Oprah) and if you want it, feel free to email me privately. I care about everyone on this list -- enough to provide my honest opinion -- like it or not. [email protected]
   — Kimberly L.

June 29, 2002
Your not going to get pleasant feed back with your questions. Am sorry but I would give anything to have the operation you have already piddled away. What are you thinking you need to start a hobbie at night so you keep your hands and your head busy. In fact join a gym and go there and walk on the treadmile at night. It makes me upset to see you just not listen to your doctor you know it will hurt you in the long run what is the point of you having surgery if your not going to follow thru with it all the way. Your going to end up like roseann barr who gained all her weight back.
   — sheri B.

June 29, 2002
I DISAGREE WITH THE TWO PREVIOUS POSTS SHE CAME HERE FOR HELP NOT SCOLDING THIS ISSUE IS DEALT WITH BY ALOT OF POST OPS YOU DON'T AUTOMATICALLY CHANGE YOUR EATING HABITS THE MINUTE YOU HAVE THIS SURGERY...SHE CAME HERE FOR HELP I SUGGEST YOU JOIN OA AND OR SEEK COUNSELING TO DEAL WITH YOUR EATING ISSUES..I TOO DEAL WITH THE ISSUES OF OVEREATING WE DON'T CHANGE OVERNIGHT WE'VE ALL DEALT WITH THIS ISSUE IF WE DIDN'T WE WOULDN'T BE SEEKING OUT THIS SURGERY....I HOPE YOU GET THE HELP YOU NEED. AND IF YOU NEED TO CHAT MORE FEEL FREE TO EMAIL ME... GOOD LUCK TO YOU
   — DEIRDRE D.

June 29, 2002
Hi Lois. Like you, I got a bit off track for a while. I've managed to get myself under control and am back to losing again....now 6 months out and down 95 pounds. A couple of questions......did you EVER dump on sugar (like early after surgery) or have you always been able to eat around it? I used to dump on anything more than about 12 grams of sugar. Hated it but LOVED the fact that it gave me a limit. I started eating a little more sugar every day though and ended up being UNABLE to dump on almost any amount of sugar -- NOT a good thing. So, following the advice of some post-ops who have been very successful, I went back to the beginning and "reset" my dump meter. I did a week of basics -- NO sugar and minimal carbs. My dump reflex is back now and it's GREAT! I now treat myself with ONE sugar free piece of chocolate a day (Russell Stover makes some good ones - 2/$3.00 a bag in WalMart). Have you considered seeing a nutritionist? How about talking to someone who can help you figure out what your problem with food is? Let's face it, we haven't gone through the surgical pain and then suffered through the healing to throw all of that away over a baked potato or a Hershey bar! It's food, fuel........it's not love or acceptance. Sometimes we need to talk to someone who is totally unrelated to the situation to get a handle on that. If this would be of help to you....talk to someone. I hope you manage to get yourself back on track. It was hard but I am SO glad I did it. Being able to "outsmart" my surgery didn't make me feel very smart at all. Please get some help. Best of Luck.
   — Pam S.

June 29, 2002
I don't watch Dr. Phil because I don't need someone telling me I am a failure. I spent a lifetime listening to people knock me down in order to give me a good kick in the pants. I am almost 60 years old. I have self esteem and I will keep it by only listening to supportive advice. You really must get counseling, OA is great too. You can't do this alone. Perhaps even an antidepressant to replace the junk comfort food. I am with you. Fay Bayuk
   — faybay

June 30, 2002
I like you don't dump on sugar, never have and I am only 10 weeks post op. I wish I did, as I am sure you do too. Maybe when you get the head hunger, if you can take a walk to cool off, or drink some water and wait and see if it passes or call a friend, it might help the hunger to go away, or even start reading a magazine. I try those religiously because I get the head hunger. But hang in there. Everyone falls down, it just takes time for us big folks to get back up....also, think about all of the money you are throwing away to the vending machine. Maybe you can save it and once you reach a goal, buy yourself something nice, and make the goals small, like in a couple weeks you may want to lose a couple pounds, and if you do, then get yourself that nice sweater and so on!...forget those who said you 'piddled' this surgery away...it is always gonna be there now that it is done. We just need more support sometimes. I know i do. I hope this really works for you!
   — stacey1273

June 30, 2002
Lois, I hear you and though can't offer much advice just wanted to let you know that I'm kind of going through the same thing. I've gotten back to carbs which aren't helping my weight loss. Life just got busy so my old habits snuck in, you know? I'm going to try to be more cognizant of what I'm eating, going to the grocery store today and buying my good snacks - cottage cheese, yogurt, etc. (My kitchen is bare - we were on vacation then this week has been crazy with work, class and my three year-old's birhtday). Just hang in there, asking for help and then doing something to solve the problem are *good things* for you right now. Wishing you the best! And, PS: other posters we come here to support not bash each other. If someone needs a "kick in the ***" in your opinion I really question if that's supporting or not. We gotta help each other out, give each other the support we need. Not completely criticize. =) Sarah
   — Sarah C.

June 30, 2002
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OSSG-Protein/ Try this group. Although it was not originally intended to deal with your issue, it inadvertently has. It WAS intended as a place to post recipes. But it has helped people get a grip on exactly what you are fighting. Been there myself.
   — vitalady

June 30, 2002
Well I see we have one PERFECT post op and a pre op giving such great advise. (NOT) The first step is seeing the problem. Which you did. Now you need to find a way to trick your head (because it just wont cooperate!) into passing up the vending machine. I am only 5.5 weeks out so I dont have alot of info for you there but I can say if you usually hit it twice a day cut back to only once a day. As far as late night eating I do the same thing but I have always been a late night person and dont function well in the mornings. I just try to have what I am eating as healthy as it can be. I think it must be working I am down 44 pounds as of this am. For you Kim and you miss pre op shame shame. The key here is SUPPORT if they want to be JUDGED they can walk out their door! Best of Luck to you and keep us posted on how you are doing!~ Email anytime!!~
   — Sassy M.

June 30, 2002
Sheri - OUCH! I hope you never need to hear some encouraging words...But even if you do, I know there are enough compassionate people here on AMOS willing to offer the SUPPORT.
   — Anna L.

June 30, 2002
Hi, I have not had my surgery yet. I am afraid I will have problems too. My past experiences are starve then go crazy! I am going to try everything I can not to do that ever again. I truely think I can. I just have one idea that I didn't see. When you feel like you are going to eat and you know you shouldn't, try going into this site in the chat room and tell (in all caps so they will see you lol) them you are in trouble. Call out the troops!! Also, look at some of the before and after shots! I don't think anyone here should judge you. We all have our weaknesses. But, you already know you are in trouble, so you can fix it! Good Luck. Feel free to email me, I am not a pro, but I will listen, lol and tell you to throw your change out the window before you hit that snack machine! Maybe you can do the same for me someday! Pam German [email protected]
   — Pam G.

June 30, 2002
Man oh man oh man. Nothing like getting kicked when you're already down. I agree with the other "positive" posters. You've already discovered why this isn't working...now you have to do something about it. The doctors operate on our bodies, not our minds. Try to get some personal counseling - there are some government funded clinics who's fees are based on income (if you don't have insurance that will cover it). Find out why you're sabatoging yourself, why you feel this "need" to eat foods you know are hurting you. At one point, I lost all control, and ate anything I wanted. Having already gone through therapy...I knew how to address my issues and got back on track - without beating myself up. We're human - and we make mistakes. As you do get back on track, and start losing again, you'll be motivated to stay on track (already knowing what will happen if you don't). Just don't give up. Everyday is a new beginning, and if you have to "start all over again" more than once, so be it.
   — Cyndie K.

June 30, 2002
I have answered this question previously my answer is the 2nd to the bottem oviously I have offended someone through the web site and my answer to your question was never intended to hurt your feelings please don't take it that way. I know it hard to stay on the diet sometime. I know food can also be like a addiction and sometimes it is there for us when no one else is so mabey when you feel that craving step away from it and do a activity that will keep you busy. Please dont take my previouse answer to heart sometimes I open my mouth and insert my foot. I would appreciate who ever is emailing people on this web site not to use swear words or threating committes because you don't like what others are saying we are all here for the same reason I realize my mistakes but please tone down the bad langage.
   — sheri B.

June 30, 2002
Ive got to say this to everyone posting answers. Everybody gives advice in different ways. For me her question hit home personally. I FEEL THAT MAYBE THIS SURGERY IS GREAT FOR OUR BODIES BUT DOES NOT ALWAYS CURE THE MIND OR THE SPRITE. WHAT EVER DEPRESSED YOU BEFORE SURGERY WILL BE THERE AFTER SEEK COUSELING JOIN A CLUB IF YOUR LONELY CALL A FRIEND. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! RESPECT OTHERS OPIONS DONT EMAIL THEM HURTFULL MESSAGES!!!!!!!!!!!!
   — sheri B.

June 30, 2002
Ive got to say this to everyone posting answers. Everybody gives advice in different ways. For me her question hit home personally. I FEEL THAT MAYBE THIS SURGERY IS GREAT FOR OUR BODIES BUT DOES NOT ALWAYS CURE THE MIND OR THE SPRITE. WHAT EVER DEPRESSED YOU BEFORE SURGERY WILL BE THERE AFTER SEEK COUSELING JOIN A CLUB IF YOUR LONELY CALL A FRIEND. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! RESPECT OTHERS OPIONS DONT EMAIL THEM HURTFULL MESSAGES!!!!!!!!!!!!
   — sheri B.

June 30, 2002
Most of us are like childern when it comes to our eating habits. We want what we want when we want it. If we don't get our way we stamp our feet (or eat chocalate :) ). And if you dael with childern or pets, which we love dearly, they have to be scolded. This does not mean we don't love them anymore or don't want to see them do good. It just means that they need a push to go in the right direction. So call your DR. tell him the truth and follow his recomendations. You'll be back on track in no time. Good Luck
   — Robert L.

June 30, 2002
Wow! I like the way Robert thinks! I am going to keep his name in case I need a push when the time comes! Pam G.
   — Pam G.

June 30, 2002
I still have a lot of food issues also. One thing I have been doing is discarding foods so I won't eat it. Better in the trash, then on my thighs! For instance, I had a cookout Friday, so I packed up the leftovers and gave them to my sister. When I trash something I try and do it without thinking. I had leftovers from a picnic I went to on Thursday, I started picking on it, so I just dumped it in the trash. This is similar to what Carnie Wilson does when she gets a dessert in a restaurant. She will put salt all over it after a few bites, so she won't eat it all. (I will probably try that also.) I was at a restaurant Saturday and after I ate some of it, I gave it to my brother-in-law to take home. Sometimes, it is hard and it doesn't always work. I try and do it fast and I think the more I do it, the easier it will be in the future. I know one thing that really helps me is that I live alone and I try not to keep my trigger foods in the house. I agree with the person that said trick yourself. As to night eating, perhaps you can cut out calories during the day so you can allow yourself to eat a little at night. Or eat something low in calorie like a pickle, popcorn or sugar free jello or popcicles (at 10 cals a pop, you can eat more than one). I have not dumped on sugar, the most I have had is 22 grams. I have decided that I will allow myself sugar via a slimfast bar as long as I consider it a meal or better still a Luna bar. These are all high in carbs, but I don't really worry about that. Good luck!
   — Lisa N M.

June 30, 2002
Lois, let's look at this point by point. You have lost 62 pounds in 10 months. Before surgery, how much would you have gained in ten months? So, you have not lost the battle, you have only delayed the victory. I too am a night eater and found one excellent solution -- for me. I make a 16 ounce cup of decaf tea (hot), and add 2-3 Splenda packets and like 3 ounces of milk. Then, while I am watching TV or talking to my husband -- who is snacking -- I have a relaxing, filling cup of tea, which gives me fluids and satisfies my hunger. Are you drinking alcohol at night? If so, stop immediately. It weakens your resolve, and we all know what happens then. Try www.fitday.com to track how many carbs you eat every day for two weeks. Just a guess, but I think a lot of what you describe as your weaknesses are actually chemical responses to too many carbohydrates. Atkin's New Revolution is a great source for explaining this logic. He also has a web site that explains the biochemistry -- search "low carbohydrate" + Atkins. If you were my best friend, I would suggest trying 3 - 4 weeks of a ketogenic diet. GNC and pharmacies have "Ketostix" that you pass through your urine. If you are in Ketosis -- which happens when you are not providing your body with enough carbohydrate, so it kicks in to burning fat for energy, which produces ketones -- it will show you that. If you do 5 to 10 grams of carb for two days, typically you will get into ketosis. If you add a little extra fat (cheese is a win-win on that), you will go deeper in to ketosis. The benefits of ketosis include the natural appetite supressant that the condition provides -- very effective --, an unpleasant taste in your mouth that typically unravels the craving habits by making a lot of things unappetizing, a psychological high and energy burst, and almost immediate control over what you choose to put in your mouth. Let's say you are on day 3 of ketosis and you get crap out of the vending machine because you forgot to pack a few string cheeses with you that morning. Boom! That will kick you out of ketosis, you will go back to being hungry, you energizing high and control will be gone, and you will be back to the blood sugar nightmare that makes you hungry, crave carbs, and tired. It will take another 2 - 3 days to get back in, and in the meantime, you will need to restrict what you eat without the benefit of ketosis. Atkins says one cookie can cost you a week of weight loss for that reason. Every morning (or more often if you need the positive reinforcement)you dip a ketostix in and verify that you are burning fat and limiting carbs. Point blank "good job!" any time you need it. After a four-week "reset period" on this plan, I would start adding salad, green veggies, then a tomato or carrot, until you are out of ketosis (it does tax your kidneys a bit). By now you have broken several destructive habits -- and DON'T pick them up again. Nutrasweet can be an appetite stimulant. Could that be part of your problem? Finally, I strongly recommend you see about getting some anti-depressants to give you the edge in defeating self-destructive behavior. If any of these work for you, please post back. I am sure I am going to be in the same boat in a few months. Good luck. I am 6 weeks post RNY revision -- down 27 pounds.
   — Karen F.

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