Question:
Has anyone lost so much weight that people are telling them that they look sick?

I lost a lot of weight and I had a friend who hadn't seen me for a while tell me that I look sick because I am thinner. How did you handle that situation? I told her that she had a right to her opinion. Finally she said that she was a little Jealyous of me.    — Sharon T. (posted on July 25, 2000)

July 25, 2000
Just a thought " They Tell Me that I look Unhealthy Overweight, too" Don't put so much concern into what they think; after all, you did this for yourself and you probally look and feel better now. "Congratulations" to you.
   — [Anonymous]

July 25, 2000
AS THE SONG GOES: "YOU CAN'T PLEASE EVERYONE SO YOU HAVE TO PLEASE YOURSELF"
   — [Anonymous]

July 25, 2000
Gee, Sharon, I can't beleive no one answered you yet. Boy am I getting this now. I started out at 228, and no one had trouble talking about my big size then. When I'd gotten down to 162, everyone said I can't beleive you want to lose 20-30 more pounds. I'm 5'4". Well I'm down to 148 and wearing sizes 10's and 12's. My BMI is still 25.4 which is just over the ideal range. I want to be in the ideal range which starts at 145 for my height. I used to weigh 135 for years. I'm not concerned if I get there but want to be in the ideal range. Everyone is saying OK "you've lost enough", "you'll lose your pretty face if you lose too much", my Dad says "enough's enough", my daughter whose 14, "you can't get littler than me", or even "if you weigh less you'll have that excess flabby skin and I'm toned and muscle weighes more than fat". I think that comforts her. Jealously is abound from my 2 sisters as well. Co-workers think I've lost too much. I don't worry about them. I'm 6 1/2 months post op, have lost 80 pounds and am loving it. I don't have high blood pressure and I feel and look great. Enjoy the new you. It's taking us some time to get used to our new bodies and it'll take them time too. Good luck and happy losing! Lou Ann
   — Lou Ann J.

July 25, 2000
Sharon, First of all, may I congratulate you on a job well done!! My aunt who is not one of my favorite aunts, had surgery about 15 months ago and has lost over 100 lbs. Everyone, including my mother has called her sick, zombie, frankenstein, scarry looking, etc. I think she looks great and I don't even like her ways very much. I am so proud of her, just like I am proud of everyone's accomplishments. People are so critical, it stinks! When she was fat, daily she suffered peoples mouths, now that she is slim, she is still dealing with their mouth. I believe people get very jealous, so you keep doing what you should be doing, as long as you feel healthy and you doctor thinks you are healthy, that is all that matters. God Bless!
   — N S.

July 25, 2000
Hi, Sharon -- of course, I am only one week post-op, so I won't be told that for awhile, but I can't wait! However, I can speak from prevoius experience because I have lost 100# plus a couple of times. It was always amazing that people came to me and said, "you're getting so skinny, you'd better stop now." This is not even when I was skinny -- maybe a 14-16. And it usually came from people who wore size 6's. Can you believe. I would say, when I'm as skinny as you, I'll stop, LOL. Yes, I think it's jealousy. I'm proud of you!!!
   — Audrey M.

July 25, 2000
I am 1 year post-op down 158-lbs and someone asked, "You're not going to get too skinny?" Too skinny, I want to know what that feels like! People always say things because they don't think. A woman at the doctor's claimed her sister who is heavier than her said, "Just don't eat a lot" instead of having WLS. So even fat people don't watch what they say. My brother jokingly referred to me as a POW (he hadn't seen me for two years). It didn't bother me because I know he can be insensitive and really didn't mean it. We'll know when we have lost the weight we needed to. Here are my stats: Pre-op 343 post-op 185 Open RNY 1 year ago
   — [Anonymous]

July 25, 2000
Yes, I have lost 132 lbs. since 1/10/00 and I look gaunt for sure. I just put my makeup on very carefully and a little rouge and lipstck does the trick. Losing this much weight so quickly changes your appearance so dramatically, that people think it's unhealthy, makes you look sick, gaunt, etc. Hang in there-when you reach your destination, folks will get used to it after a while.
   — Louise H.

July 26, 2000
People are accustomed to us looking and being fat, and many of them feel more secure about themselves because of it. It's a new look they will have to get used to! Congrats!
   — Paula G.

July 26, 2000
Everyone's answered this marvelously, but I thought I'd throw in mine, too. We've been in suppprt groups for 6 years, along with watching ourselves lose wt. Virtually everyone goes through a gaunt period! I mean, poke a ballon with a pin so all the air exits at once and what do you get? A wrinkly bag! But it doesn't LAST. Those swimming pools up by your neck? The turkey gobble? All that fades away gradually. Your neck will tighten, your bones will be gently covered with muscle as it returns. That pale look will be replaced with living color soon enough. We're lucky that we usually only see the new "thin" and don't see the pale/gaunt look. I know at some point I decided I could not wear black, even thouh I'd always found it flattering before. I thought it was age! But as time goes on and the weight stabilized and I got my protein supplement intake up to where it works best, I didn't gain pounds, but I "softened" from that angular place. And yes, even 30# from goal (on my 5'1") frame, people started screaming for me to stop. I was still technically obese (20% over ideal), but was down in "normal" weight ranges. I think people feel threatened and they're also scared by what they've heard about the surgery. I had an intersting experience last week with my dad's doc. My dad will need to have an endsscopy and the doc was explaining in detail what was going to happen. I finally said that it was OK, I'd had several. Why? When I said I was gastric bypass, the doc's eyes bugged out and he blurted, "I've never seen a healthy one!" Well, I pointed out, we're all around you, just not wearing a sign! Take a deep breath, enjoy the bones while you've got 'em--it's a novelty and recognize that you are going to look FABULOUS in 6 months and drop dead gorgeous in a year. Yep.
   — vitalady

July 26, 2000
except me Carol .. i am TOTALLY JEALOUS OF YOU ..
   — Vanessa B.

May 11, 2004
Be careful. They all said I lost too much weight and one dr stretched the bypass. I had dropped from 270 to 99lbs - 5'3" I am now at 192 and facing a revision. I listened to everyone else and used sugar to gain and paying for it now. Don't listen to anyone except your surgeon!
   — Michal K.

Click Here to Return