Question:
I need to know if anyone else is going through this...

I am 2 months post op & seem to have lost any desire to have sex. It is not because of pain or discomfort,I just can't seem to get in the mood lately. This is just a recent occurance & I hope it will pass. I am down 50 pounds,but more self conscious about my body now than I was before the surgery. What is going on with me? Did this happen to anyone else? I am worried that I will feel this way forever!    — [Anonymous] (posted on October 22, 2000)

October 22, 2000
Hi! I'm with ya girl! At first I was, what we call around here...a "horndog" and always in the mood. I am 2 1/2 post op and hardly ever desire sex. I just am guessing for myself that my body hormones are just so off wack, I mean my hair is starting to fall out, so I thinking everything internal is just off kilter(spelled right?) Thats what Im hoping anyways. Im slowly getting back into things one day at a time. Everyday is like a new adjustment...don't ya think? Good Luck and may you not need to take yet another pill! (Viagra) hee hee
   — VIXYVIX

October 22, 2000
I think alot of sexual desire is generated by how we think of ourselves and our body. I wasn't interested too much when I was fat (I am down 100 lbs), because I felt undesirable. NOW, I still feel bad because I still don't have the proper body concept with being thinner. I still think I am obese! I have been obese many years, and I will work through this (with God's & my hubby's help), so give yourself some time. You are just learning who you really are deep inside, not to mention the fact that our hormones ARE screwy after surgery and because of rapid weight loss. Good Luck and hang in there!
   — M B.

October 22, 2000
Hummmm...sex after surgery...what a novel idea. Considering that I'm a single lady who has recently lost 91# thanks to my wls, it is definately something I am looking forward to resuming. As for your "problem", you didn't really give any other details as to your age, marital status, other medical conditions etc...but those could definately have something to do with your lack of desire right now. Your body has gone through some pretty big changes within the past couple months and it's possible that your libido has taken a nose dive for several reasons...not all physical. Emotionally, I know that I want to have everything in order before I even allow myself to think about sex now or in the future. I want my body to be as "perfect" as possible, but right now I think I'm beginning to look like a shar-pai puppy in "certain" areas. And even tho' my body is "smaller", that shar-pai look is not terribly attractive to me. My hormones are still a little out of wack as my diabetes is becoming more in control and I'm constantly adjusting my meds. I still get tired even now, at nearly 8 months post, and simply getting through the day is sometimes all I can hope for. It's not unusual, in my opinion, to become more self conscious about your body following weight loss...we're finding out so many things that have literally been hidden from us for years...like a waistline, collarbones, and "real" hips. Our bodies are changing right before our eyes on a daily basis. We don't know quite how to deal with these changes yet and whether or not we even "like" them. Hopefully, however, you have an understanding partner who will give YOU time to adjust to your new body. In the meantime, talk to your doctor if it becomes a real area of contention. It could be a metabolic problem...or, it could just be a matter of "timing". Two months out isn't a long time. You're main objective right now is continuing to relearn how and what to eat and developing a whole, new healthy lifestyle. Your mind is still geared first and formost, to the weight loss process. Sex in a relationship is important but it's just not THE MOST important thing on your mind right now. Good luck and God bless. cj
   — cj T.

October 22, 2000
6 yrs post-op here, involved in several support groups. Running about 99% with you! There are a few for whom their new body is so much fun that the Lack of Interest period never seems to hit. But for many of us, we're thinking, Gee, I'm looking so much better, why can't I hold any interest? Our doc implies that it's because the body is "conserving" during the rapid wt loss period and is thinking, "Hey, there's barely enough to go around for one here. Denfintely not sending out any signals that we might want to procreate!" Who knows? But you are not alone. They used to offer a series of 4 (max) shots of a testosterone mixture. Some came back to life after one, even. Not sure what they're using today, though. Most of us DO resume some interest later, though we are often confused about what we look like. My husband is teaching me to see me through HIS eyes, not mine. It's work, but it is well worth it to look at me HIS way, rather than my way which is to pick me all apart, from eyebrows to toenails!
   — vitalady