Question:
After losing the weight...

I am sorry if this was posted before. I didn't see it anywhere. After losing the weight and you have all the excess skin and flab how do you feel sexy again with that in the back of your mind? Yes. you will be happy about the weight loss and have that behind you (that is a major accomplishment). But will I still feel like I do now when I am intimate with my husband? Or do them feelings go away with the weight? He is so great about my weight but this really wonders me? Thanks for your responses ahead of time.    — crazybadbug (posted on September 8, 2002)


September 8, 2002
Many like me are turned on ALL the time.
   — bob-haller

September 8, 2002
Apryl, I am young and single and believe me it is an even worse feeling when it's a new relationship and you look so awful when naked. I think about this almost everyday. I am dating now, and am having such a hard time coming to terms with me flabby, droopy, baggy looking body. While naked I actually find myself less attractive now than I did at 300 lbs. Worse even, is that I look so good dressed that I almost feel deceitful! I feel like there isn't any possible sort of way that a man can find me sexy in bed. I have this fear that I am going to really start to like one of these guys one day and then when we get intimate he is going to see my body and not want anything to do with me anymore. Fortunately for you, you are already married and have that real important thing called time tested love. Nothing is sexier than that. I am planning some heavy duty plastic surgery (I was seriously hit with the no-elasticity stick). In the meanwhile, I guess some sexy lingerie, corsets that lift the boobies, teddies that cover the midsection, will have to do. I think guys find that kind of stuff sexy anyway. ;) Good luck to you! ~Paula, Open RNY 02/14/02, -119 lbs.
   — PaulaM

September 9, 2002
Although I have a 12" scar down the middle of my belly from my open RNY, I feel sexier now than I have ever felt. When I am intimate with my husband I am actually able to get physically closer to him, because all the fat's not in the way. I am more flexible. I have better endurance and am less inhibited. In short, our sex life is 100% better than it used to be. My hubby loved me at 407 lbs. He loved me when my body was bloated and I could barely walk. Now that I'm half of my original size, he continues to love me, and he really loves my new attitude and confidence. Don't worry about excess skin. It is a very minor problem as compared with morbid obesity.
   — Terissa R.

September 9, 2002
Apryl, I understand how you feel. I am a "single again" person of 46 years old. My husband left me 20 years ago because I became fat. Then I spent the last 20 years getting fatter (w/ depression) and raising our 2 sons alone. I never thought of dating again. But now I do and I am TERRIFIED! I guess if God wills it I will one day meet someone who will like me for me and not my size. I wish you the best :)
   — Gina D.

September 9, 2002
hiya i hear ya loud and clear! for me pre op i KNEW i was not sexy and i felt like a joke when i tried to wear some little slinky type thing to bed. luckily my hubby married met me thin (117lbs), married me at 135lbs and stuck with me up to the 268lbs pre op. he never once said anything negative about it except concern over my health problems. now that i am 5lbs below goal weight, i get into a bit of a head game with myself. naked i'm still like, "ick...look at that bag o'skin there and flappy arms and boobs that hang to me knees (lol)" but i remind myself that at 268, things didn't bag like this cuz they were filled with fat. then i remind myself of the things i can do now and how much my health has improved. i feel like i look great in clothes (still hate the tummy tho...always have had a bit of one even when "thin") so i buy nice push up/squeeze together bras and sexy undergarments...that is for me to feel sexy i would like a tummy tuck/boob lift but again that is more for my mental image of myself than my health. again, i just try to look at how i am now physically and focus on my health and not the bags & lumps..heh heh i think it is hard for all of us, especially the mental image we have of ourselves, we've spent so many years being obese it takes time to get used to looking "normal" just love yourself and your husband, you'll be fine. if you find yourself totally obssessing over your body image you may want to see a therapist specializing in body image/weight issues. good luck! kate open rny 6-14-01 pre op: 268lbs goal: 135lbs current: 130lbs
   — jkb

September 9, 2002
I didn't like the way my excess skin looked on my stomach. A tt has made a WORLD of difference!! I like wearing tight clothes and showing off my waist now. I also don't feel uncomfortable with myself when I'm naked. The scar from hip to hip isn't beautiful but it's WAY better looking then the excess skin!! I'll keep the scar and trust me, it hasn't made a difference in the way I'm treated by the guy I'm seeing!!
   — Patty H.

September 11, 2002
Thank You all for your responses.
   — crazybadbug




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