Question:
After losing the weight...
I am sorry if this was posted before. I didn't see it anywhere. After losing the weight and you have all the excess skin and flab how do you feel sexy again with that in the back of your mind? Yes. you will be happy about the weight loss and have that behind you (that is a major accomplishment). But will I still feel like I do now when I am intimate with my husband? Or do them feelings go away with the weight? He is so great about my weight but this really wonders me? Thanks for your responses ahead of time. — crazybadbug (posted on September 8, 2002)
September 8, 2002
Many like me are turned on ALL the time.
— bob-haller
September 8, 2002
Apryl, I am young and single and believe me it is an even worse feeling
when it's a new relationship and you look so awful when naked. I think
about this almost everyday. I am dating now, and am having such a hard
time coming to terms with me flabby, droopy, baggy looking body. While
naked I actually find myself less attractive now than I did at 300 lbs.
Worse even, is that I look so good dressed that I almost feel deceitful! I
feel like there isn't any possible sort of way that a man can find me sexy
in bed. I have this fear that I am going to really start to like one of
these guys one day and then when we get intimate he is going to see my body
and not want anything to do with me anymore. Fortunately for you, you are
already married and have that real important thing called time tested love.
Nothing is sexier than that. I am planning some heavy duty plastic surgery
(I was seriously hit with the no-elasticity stick). In the meanwhile, I
guess some sexy lingerie, corsets that lift the boobies, teddies that cover
the midsection, will have to do. I think guys find that kind of stuff sexy
anyway. ;) Good luck to you! ~Paula, Open RNY 02/14/02, -119 lbs.
— PaulaM
September 9, 2002
Although I have a 12" scar down the middle of my belly from my open
RNY, I feel sexier now than I have ever felt. When I am intimate with my
husband I am actually able to get physically closer to him, because all the
fat's not in the way. I am more flexible. I have better endurance and am
less inhibited. In short, our sex life is 100% better than it used to be.
My hubby loved me at 407 lbs. He loved me when my body was bloated and I
could barely walk. Now that I'm half of my original size, he continues to
love me, and he really loves my new attitude and confidence. Don't worry
about excess skin. It is a very minor problem as compared with morbid
obesity.
— Terissa R.
September 9, 2002
Apryl, I understand how you feel. I am a "single again" person of
46 years old. My husband left me 20 years ago because I became fat. Then I
spent the last 20 years getting fatter (w/ depression) and raising our 2
sons alone. I never thought of dating again. But now I do and I am
TERRIFIED! I guess if God wills it I will one day meet someone who will
like me for me and not my size. I wish you the best :)
— Gina D.
September 9, 2002
hiya
i hear ya loud and clear! for me pre op i KNEW i was not sexy and i felt
like a joke when i tried to wear some little slinky type thing to bed.
luckily my hubby married met me thin (117lbs), married me at 135lbs and
stuck with me up to the 268lbs pre op. he never once said anything negative
about it except concern over my health problems. now that i am 5lbs below
goal weight, i get into a bit of a head game with myself. naked i'm still
like, "ick...look at that bag o'skin there and flappy arms and boobs
that hang to me knees (lol)" but i remind myself that at 268, things
didn't bag like this cuz they were filled with fat. then i remind myself of
the things i can do now and how much my health has improved.
i feel like i look great in clothes (still hate the tummy tho...always have
had a bit of one even when "thin") so i buy nice push up/squeeze
together bras and sexy undergarments...that is for me to feel sexy
i would like a tummy tuck/boob lift but again that is more for my mental
image of myself than my health.
again, i just try to look at how i am now physically and focus on my health
and not the bags & lumps..heh heh
i think it is hard for all of us, especially the mental image we have of
ourselves, we've spent so many years being obese it takes time to get used
to looking "normal"
just love yourself and your husband, you'll be fine. if you find yourself
totally obssessing over your body image you may want to see a therapist
specializing in body image/weight issues.
good luck!
kate
open rny 6-14-01
pre op: 268lbs
goal: 135lbs
current: 130lbs
— jkb
September 9, 2002
I didn't like the way my excess skin looked on my stomach. A tt has made a
WORLD of difference!! I like wearing tight clothes and showing off my
waist now. I also don't feel uncomfortable with myself when I'm naked.
The scar from hip to hip isn't beautiful but it's WAY better looking then
the excess skin!! I'll keep the scar and trust me, it hasn't made a
difference in the way I'm treated by the guy I'm seeing!!
— Patty H.
September 11, 2002
Thank You all for your responses.
— crazybadbug
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