Question:
Need advice from single moms about after surgery care for kids

I am a single mom of a 6 year old boy with ADHD & Anxiety disorder. As you can imagine he is extremely active!! I am concern about care for him after the surgery. I do not have a big family network so I will be mostly on my own. I should have the RYN done laposcopically. My question is - how long after this proceedure (done lap) were you able to take care of your very active children?? Thanks bunches!!    — Debbie W. (posted on August 29, 2002)

August 29, 2002
I'm a single mom of two beautiful daughters ages 7 and 10. My youngest was 6 at the time of my surgery. I had Open VBG so I think I can say I experienced the worst you might have, my opinion. Anyway, I was able to take care of them right away. They might have had to wait a little longer for things but we managed. My children were my help. I couldn't have done it without them. I think your son will help out more then you realize. Good luck.
   — Elva H.

August 29, 2002
Hi! I have a 3 yr. old, and a 10 yr.old. and an unsupportive husband. The 10 yr. old was in school at the time of my lap. RNY. I know that your situation is a little differant, but I just wanted to say that once I got home, (7 days after surgery, I had a little problem in the hospital) I was pretty good to go, I never took any pain meds., but being tired was a huge problem, I mean, I took a shower in the morning, drove my 10 yr. old to school (which is a big no no to drive, but I had no other choice) and I would have to come home and lay on the couch and fade in and out of sleep while my 3 yr. old ran a muck through the house! Now, I know that this sounds terrible, but neither my husband or I have any family so you do what you have to do. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if your son is in school during the day you should be okay!! REST, REST, REST, and prepare mentally and physically for him coming home afterschool, and if ANYONE offers to watch him for you for a little while take them up on it! People heal differently, I just had to have the mind set that I wouldn't have any pain and just get on with daily life. GOOD LUCK! I hope that all goes well for you!!
   — Tambi B.

August 29, 2002
Debbie- I too have a child with special needs. He has anxiety disorder along with other dissabilities. I have three other children in my home as well and I'm struggling to make arrangements also. I'm sorry I don't have much of an answer to your question but if you would like to chat and network the possibilites together I would like to hand out an invitation. Good luck with your surgery and your son. E-mail me anytime. Denise
   — denisel

August 29, 2002
HI DEBBIE, I HAD SOME HELP AND STAYED WITH MY MOM FOR A FEW DAYS. I HAD LAP RNY ALSO. I HAVE A 5 YR OLD WHO IS VERY ACTIVE. MY ADVICE, GET LOTS OF QUICK PASTA DISHES, LIKE RAGU EXPRESS, SPAGHETTI-OS, AND USE THE TV AS A BABY SITTER WHILE U REST ON THE SOFA. ALSO, MAYBE SOME COLORING BOOKS, CRAFTS ETC... GOOD LUCK :)
   — DANIELLE R.

August 29, 2002
I have a special needs little girl like that. She is Bi-ppolar. She however is very nurturing. She loves to help. Also oddly enough I found that she loves things with a lot of detail like those fuzzy posters with a lot of things to color on them and believe it or not (this would drive me nuts) puzzles with a lot of pieces. She also loves to run and fetch things so you set the boundaries and keep him/her busy. Let 'em do stuff for you they love that. They fight us the most because we are the boundary setters but I just bet he/she would love to help you out.
   — Peggy A.

August 30, 2002
Thanks so much for all your advice! I have started talking to him about it so hopefully he will be remember once I get home that I am not a jumping bag!! :O)
   — Debbie W.