Question:
Give me something to live for.

I want to know if anyone out there is so ashame to leave the house because they are so heavy? I can't leave the house because I am so afraid of people staring at me. Please give me some kind of hope. THANKS    — Lisa L. (posted on November 26, 1999)

November 26, 1999
Hi Lisa...I think I know what you're going through. There have been times when I just couldn't force myself to leave my house because I was so ashamed of what I look like that I didn't want anyone to see me. I've suffered from depression several times in my life and I think alot of that has to do with my embarrassment about my size. It's just so much easier and less painful to stay at home and eat. I've missed out on so much in my life. I don't like to see people I haven't seen in a while (especially the ones I haven't seen since high school!) because all I can think about is what they must be thinking of me and what I look like now. I weighed 155 lbs when I graduated high school and in the past 16 years I've eaten my way up to 366 lbs. I'm not sure what I can say to help you, I just wanted you to know you are not alone. I think most of us on this site have felt like you at one time or another in our lives. I've tried pretty much everything over the years to lose weight and I feel that WLS is my last chance at a normal life. It has given me hope again. Hope that I can have children and watch them grow up, any maybe even be around when they have children of their own. I hope you can find what you need to give you hope again.
   — Kellie L.

November 26, 1999
Hi Lisa, welcome! Stick around and check out all the weight loss stories and hopes and dreams of the people on this list. Everyone has a history of weight nightmares and weight loss triumphs. Ask questions and everyone will answer as openly and honestly as they can. Research all you can and absorb all the information. Rosie
   — Rose B.

November 26, 1999
Lisa Just this past Wednesday my husband wanted me to go with him to pick up his check. He wanted me to go up with him to meet some of his colleagues. I said no, maybe after I have this surgery and get to a normal size. He said he was not ashamed of me and was very proud of what I had accomplished in my life. I thanked him and told him I was the one ashamed. He didn't get it. Mostly because he loves me no matter how I look, but I don't even like for him to come into the bathroom after I have taken a shower. I am ashamed for him to see this body, even though I know he loves me. I hate to get up in the morning because I know I have to go to work. I don't go to family reunions, because I don't want to face my relatives. Believe me when I say you are not alone. There are many of us and some of the most supportive are here on this website. Go to the chatroom and talk. You will find the people here most informative and giving of their time and knowledge. Just remember there is always tomorrow and tomorrow you may find a solution to your problem. Tomorrow will come. FIGHT -- FIGHT -- FIGHT. NEVER GIVE UP. Good luck and God bless and keep you
   — Jen L.

November 26, 1999
DEAR LISA, I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE, I AM A LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER AND HAVE TO DEAL WITH BEING IN THE SPOTLIGHT EVERY DAY,,, WHEN I GET A CALL TO GO TO TRAFFIC CONTROL WHERE I AM GOING TO BE IN THE INTERSECTION,I HAVE TO SIT IN MY VEHICLE AND PYSCH MYSELF UP CAUSE I KNOW PEOPLE ARE DRIVING BY AND SAYING STUFF ABOUT MY SIZE,, BUT I JUST SMILE AND GO ON,,, EVERY TIME I GO TO A CALL AND GET OUT OF MY VEHICLE I HAVE TO DO A MENTAL NOTE TO BE SMILING AND MAYBE THEY WONT NOTICE MY SIZE. I RECENTLY GOT A AWARD AT WORK AND DUE TO THE FACT I WOULD HAVE TO GO TO A CEREMONY WHERE I WOULD HAVE TO GO ON A STAGE I DIDNT GO TO ACCEPT IT,, I HAD MY LT. PICK IT UP FOR ME, BUT THINGS WILL GET BETTER YOU GOT TO BELIEVE IT... ONE DAY YOU WILL BE ON THE OTHER SIDE,,, YOU ARE NOT ALONE,,, WHEN YOU GET SCARED TO LEAVE THE HOUSE JUST THINK ABOUT ME STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT INTERSECTION DIRECTING TRAFFIC AND BEING CALLED EVERY NAME IN THE BOOK,,,I JUST SMILE AND WAVE THEM ON,,, HANG IN THERE LINDA COLLINS
   — Linda C.

November 26, 1999
We're all in the same boat! My husband made a career change this past summer. In today's mail, there was an invitation to the annual Christmas party. I have not met any of his co-workers or upper management people. I told him right away I could not go. He is quite hurt about this but knows how I feel about meeting new people. I will have surgery after the first of the year and with God's help and self-determination will be able to attend all kinds of activities in the future. Keep your chin up and get busy and investigate surgery for yourself.
   — [Anonymous]

November 26, 1999
Lisa: I've experienced the same feelings you've described, and it is a terrible and hopeless way to feel. What made me hit bottom was realizing that in another year or so, my youngest will move out and get married, leaving me home alone. Combine that with my habit of avoiding contact with people (can't stand the stares) and I'd live out my life alone in the house with my dog and cats. I hit a new low in depression, and took a chance on searching for weight loss info on the net ... but with the knowledge that I'd automatically reject any new quirky diet, esp those that cut out entire food groups. By complete chance I happened along this site, and for the first time in years actually felt hope that I could change! The last several years have seen the resolving of several serious issues (getting divorced, losing 5 family members in 10 weeks, finding the son I gave up to adoption in '72, etc); now this is the time for me to work on becoming comfortable with myself, and wls is an important factor. Now I'm five weeks on 'the other side', almost 40 lbs lighter, and feel a solid hope that by next spring or summer, weight will cease to be an issue for me. What a wonderful gift to give myself! I'd suggest spending a lot of time researching and asking questions about WLS. It is certainly a worthwhile investment in yourself. Please write anytime if I can be of help! Cindy
   — Cynthia B.

November 26, 1999
Hi Lisa, I understand that this must be hard for you. It's bad enough that you don't feel good about yourself let alone everyone else possibly staring at you. Obviously you have found this web-site which is definitely a positive. I know it will be hard but try, going out for a few minutes each day. alott some time to go to the store or to the bank and than try to increase it each day. try not to keep looking at other people and wonder what they are thinking. hold your head up and just concentrate on what your task is. Don't let other people control your life you have to do for yourself or noone will. do you have a friend that could go with you some of the places on your errands? Lastly, if you are looking in to the surgery this is an option for you to start changing your life. If you need to e-mail me I would be happy to correspond with you. My surgery is this December 1st and I am looking forward to my new stomach and new life. G-d bless you and good luck. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
   — Jodie R.

November 29, 1999
Wow...reading the responses to Lisa's post really opened my eyes. I didn't realize so many other people, like myself, decline invitations because they are embarrassed to be seen by people. My husband has a weight problem but it never stopped him from doing anything and he can't understand why I have so much trouble making myself go to family reunions, parties, out in public in general, etc. I didn't realize so many of you felt the same way I do. I don't know what I ever did before I found this site!
   — Kellie L.