Question:
Why did I get so upset?
One of the things that I notice more than anything now is overweight people struggling to walk or get in their cars....I want to run up and say "Hey, I have the answer". I know that I can't. I know what I would have done if someone did that to me when I was overweight. Yesterday, I had the weirdest thing happen. My team from work was out of town doing a "TEAMBUILDING" and we were at lunch. I was looking out the window and saw this REALLY OBESE lady standing in front of the window leaning up against a poll resting and I started to cry. My team thought I was NUTS. My friend sitting next to me must have seen the lady out the window too and said "She is just have a THANK YOU" moment. Several of the team members went "WHAT??" and she said (Thank Goodness she did, cause by this time I was BALLIN' LIKE A BABY) "Sharon has just been reminded what her life was like this time last year and is Thankful for what it is now". Why did I get so upset this time? I have seen lots of people who are overweight or OBESE in the last year. I have thought to myself many times, I wonder if they know about WLS....Why this time? And Yes, I am truly grateful for WLS and what it has done for me and my family. — Sharon H. (posted on May 15, 2003)
May 15, 2003
I think I can sum it up pretty succinctly: empathy.
— johanniter
May 15, 2003
Maybe the best thing would be to pray for her (and others) that good
information about WLS crosses her path soon. Currently, I am that very
obese woman, and I woke up with a feeling in mid-December that I needed to
check this out. Maybe someone saw me and prayed for me. Good Luck, Mea
— Mea A.
May 15, 2003
HI SHARON, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THRU IT IS VERY NORMAL, I JUST HAD MY
SURGERY ALMOST 4 MTHS. AGO AND MY MOTHER IS OBESE JUST LIKE ME BUT, HER
DOCTOR WON'T LET HER HAVE THE SURGERY AND HER INSURANCE COMPANY HAS AN
EXCLUSION FOR IT. I SEE HER STRUGGLE EVERYDAY WITH HER WEIGHT AND IT IS
VERY HARD FOR HER TO EVEN GET UP ANYMORE AND GET AROUND. AND, WHEN PEOPLE
STARE AT HER I GET ANGRY BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT SHE IS GOING THRU WITH BEING
OBESE. LIKE LAST WEEK, WE ALL WENT OUT TO EAT FOR MOTHER'S DAY AND WHEN WE
GOT UP TO LEAVE THE RESTRAUNT SHE DIDN'T GET HER BALANCE ALL OF THE WAY AND
ALL MOST FELL DOWN AND A LADY SITTING CLOSE TO US STARTED TO LAUGH, I WAS
SO ANGRY, I CURSED AT HER AND ASK WHAT HER PROBLEM WAS, OF COURSE SHE
DIDN'T REPLY. BUT, I KNOW THIS HAD TO DO WITH MY MOTHER'S WEIGHT BECAUSE
SHE HAS PROBLEMS WITH GETTING HER BALNCE NOW AND SHE GETS OUT OF BREATH
REAL EASILY. I HUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY SOME PEOPLE HAVE TO BE SO NASTY
THOUGH TO PEOPLE OVERWEIGHT BUT I GUESS I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND THAT. BUT, I
DO FIND MYSELF GETTING UPSET SOMETIMES WHEN I SEE MY MOM GETTING EXHAUSTED
AND I WISH THAT SHE COULD HAVE THIS DONE TOO BECAUSE IT HAS REALLY CHANGED
MY LIFE SO FAR. I THINK EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT EMOTIONS ABOUT THINGS AND IT
IS DEFINETLY A NORMAL PROCESS TO GO THRU. GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!
— Melodee S.
May 15, 2003
Sharon you were having what i ref. to as a WLS MOMENT. I had one not to
long ago. Before surgery I sat outside the Block Busters one night waiting
on hubbie to go in and get a movie. I looked down and saw my big legs and
started to cry. I wondered why me? Why was I the fat one??? you know...how
that goes. Well, anyhow, I decided to come home and write it down so I
wouldn't forget it. And I did, and I haven't. I look down now and see these
"skinny" legs and I still have a hard time believing ITS ME ITS
REALLY ME!!!!
FROM A SIZE 24-26 TO A 14 (prob a 12 really but its too tight for me) And I
thank God. When I see another person struggling, Just like you I want to
offer my help. But we know in our hearts this is not always the best way.
It's easier to pull a rope than to push one. As time goes by, you will be a
witness to many, just as my daughter and I have. I still get
"thankyou's" from people online and from close friends who have
now had the surgery. God leads us to whom we need to speak. WHETHER THEY
LISTEN OR NOT IS UP TO THEM. You enjoy those tears and you WLS MOMENT!!!!!
You deserve it...you earned it.
— Jackiis
May 15, 2003
I have found that I now go out of my way to acknowledge the obese when I am
out. I make eye contact, smile, say hello, and open doors, ask if they
need help in the appropriate situation, etc...I painfully remember feeling
left out an alone, that I was disgusting, that no one could standthe sight
of me. It wasn't that long ago and I remember it as if it was today. I'm
still fat but I'm noticed now and along with that comes the feelings of
"why wasn't I good enough before?" It's a mirror--we see the MO
and we see ourselves. As one member of my support group stated,
"who's in my body becasue it isn't me?"
— jenn2002
May 15, 2003
— beeda
May 15, 2003
Well I have told a couple people like you wanted too and got trashed here
for it. Relax I havent done it lately. Posters here got me to think of
other ways, I called our local paper and they did a nice story, see my
profile for links to them. Try to find a way to help others, it feels great
to help. Giving back is why I am a mod here. To help others.
— bob-haller
May 15, 2003
Sharon, I, too, seem to notice obese people more, especially the super
obese that struggle to walk. I posted a question a long time ago asking if
others wanted to approach obese strangers and share their WLS stories, you
know, kinda like "I was you a year ago and you could look like me
too", but got soundly denounced for even the thought of it. What I
was told is that until someone is ready to do something about their weight,
approaching them can be potentially embarrassing to them and thats the last
thing I want to do. I still have the desire to approach and share my story
with strangers, but have never done so, mostly out of respect for their
feelings. Someone else suggested that wearing a WLS T-shirt out in public
would help to generate curiousity and questions from others, but I am not
willing to "wear" my surgery. I think your sensitivity shows
your compassion and empathy for others. Like one of the other posters,
what I do now, is to be especially kind to the obese and treat them with
respect, like making eye contact, something that non-obese people hardly
ever do to the obese.
— Cindy R.
May 15, 2003
I know how you feel. I have not even had WLS yet but I felt such a freedom
when I made my decision to go ahead and get this process started...but if
someone came to me before I made my decision and said, "Look what I
did! It can work for you too!" I would have been offended (mainly out
of embarassment). Trust me, their excess weight is constantly on their mind
and WLS might not be within their reach due to cost, insurance, etc. I
would not suggest you go out tell every obese person you saw, that WLS is
their answer. Rather, if you know them personally or happen to start a
conversation with them you maybe could bring it up naturally. But don't
just bombard them, WLS is a major decision and it is NOT for everyone. As a
Christian, I want to shout to the rooftops about my Lord and Savior Jesus
Christ and I want everyone to be saved, but unfortunately it will never
happen b/c God said so. Not everybody will receive your good news, so if
you do feel the urge to spread it, do not get upset if someone does not
take it with as much enthusiam as you!
— Shayla527
May 15, 2003
Sharon, As to why you did it this time...I believe it was a combinattion of
emotion, empathy, and hormones...you know there are times when the hormones
are flowing freely, you know when you can cry at the Hallmark commercials?
Well, all elements were right and you blew...God bless you. All the pain
came flooding back to you. Lets all pray for that woman tonight.
— Dana S.
May 15, 2003
Sharon, I too understand how you feel. I have seen many obese people
struggling to walk, hiding their food, trying to sit in chairs and my heart
goes out to them. I have also wanted to tell them about wls but thought
against it because as other posters have mentioned if someone had approched
me a year ago, I would have ripped their head off (embarrassment), so now I
just say a prayer with the understanding that I had prayed for years about
my weight and didn't understand why God did n't answer when I WANTED HIM TO
but am now very thankful that HE ANSWERED ON HIS TIME. Oddly now that I
have lost almost 100 lbs (272 to 178 lbs), I had a friend (size 5/6) talk
about "big girls" and turned to me to say "you're not big
anymore so I can say this..." I wonder if that is how she truly felt
when I was "big". Funny but what she doesn't realize is that I
still see myself as big and not the medium size that she tells me that I
am. All I can say to you Sharon, is that is the God in us that makes us
want to reach out and spread the word, to be able to touch someones life,
to be able to HAVE a testimony. That is it: we are God's testimonies.
— ROCHELLE S.
May 15, 2003
"WLS T-shirt out in public would help to generate curiousity and
questions from others, but I am not willing to "wear" my surgery
"
Cindy I feel that way too. The OH store now sells WLS Lapel Pins. I wear
mine daily and hope others start wearing them too. If they get
recognizable enough, MO will come up to us and ask. Ilike sharing my
story, but I am not a t shirt person, this is the way to go.
— faybay
May 16, 2003
I understand and empathize, even though my surgery is still months away. I
think I'd be compelled to go up to someone but wouldn't. I know I would
have felt embarassed and ashamed if someone had approached me, but you know
what? As embarassed and ashamed as I would have been, it would have gotten
me thinking and I would have started researching WLS. I think the pins are
a great idea and once my surgery is done, I'm going to wear one proudly.
— antiques55
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