Question:
Was anyone else this FREAKED?

Two days ago I found out that i was sceduled for surgery on June 28th. I didn't even know that I was approved until then. It only took 3 weeks for the whole process, So it seems that this is just moving REALLY FAST!!!! My question, Is it normal to be this freaked out? I have been so scared, nervous, excited. I am terrified to leave my children motherless!    — candi M. (posted on June 15, 2002)


June 15, 2002
While most people would probably call me crazy for suggesting this....Maybe you should ask your surgeon for a later surgery date. If you feel that your surgery is coming up to soon and you don't have enough time to prepare, it couldn't hurt to ask for a later date! Good luck!
   — fropunka

June 15, 2002
I just realized that I didn't answer your question AT ALL...heehee but anyway, my surgery date is for August 7th, and I am starting to feel a bit nervous myself. I think it is TOTALLY normal for us to feel this way. We are undergoing a HUGE life change. Whenever I feel nervous I come to this site and look at the before and after pictures and say "That is going to be me soon! YAY!" :o)
   — fropunka

June 15, 2002
Hi, Candy -- I understand completely. My approval came through so quickly and my date was within 3 weeks that I felt like I was a giant snowball, careening down a mountain. Take deep breaths, slowly, and make a list of all the reasons you sought this solution in the first place. Keep the list because you will use it many times for support -- At least I did! However, what helped me the MOST, besides prayer, was what my regular doctor said to me when I was venting about whether or not I should go ahead, "after all, wasn't I just going to mutilate my body just to lose weight?!" He didn't say anything for a moment and then slowly, "CJ, what in the world do you think you've BEEN DOING FOR YEARS TO YOUR BODY BUT MUTILATING IT WITH OVEREATING??" I just sat there, stunned, but he was absolutely right. I needed to look clearly at the reasons I was even considering an operation (the list) but I also needed to acknowledge the terrible damage my excess weight was and had been doing to my poor body for years. That was mid-September 2001. As of THursday (I only weigh once a week and always on Thursdays for some reason), I have gone from 314 pounds to 188 pounds. From a size 26/28 to a size 14. I'm 5'9" and large-boned so people are actually telling me I'm too thin (HAH!) now. I feel great, sleep well, eat to live rather than live to eat, and take better care of myself than I EVER did. My goal weight is 163, but only because that was my weight before I began gaining. If I didn't lose another pound, I'd be fine with that , too. The first four months after surgery, I often regretted my decision. I missed food as comfort and buffer from the world. After four months, however, my system improved so that I could eat normally -- carefully, but normally -- and my energy returned more and more. I have two flights of stairs which I have to do at least five times a day each way. I used to joke and say I was the Stair Speed Monitor because anyone stuck behind me had to go so slowly. (I "joked" because I was mortified at holding everyone up and it was better than crying in front of people.) Anyway, I RUN up those stairs now. And do not even breathe heavily!! It still shocks me, but in such a wonderful PRAISE THE LORD way! Sorry to go on so long, but your question truly touched my heart and jogged my memory. HOpe I've helped. God bless you, dear Candy! CJ
   — cjtich

June 15, 2002
Rosie: you are not crazy. Some folks do better if they take their time and wait until they are ready. Except for oldies like me, this is not a race. Fay Bayuk
   — faybay

June 15, 2002
my surgery was exactly one month after i first met the doctor. i had about 3 weeks to get myself ready. i was very determined after i made my final decision that i was very calm about the whole thing. i had a breast reduction 5 years ago and i was a total lunatic the night before especially. my kids were young, the baby was only 1, and i thought for sure i was going to die. with this surgery, i just knew that it was the right thing to do. good luck to you. open rny 5-2-02 -33 pounds
   — candymom64

June 15, 2002
Take a deep breath, calm down and GO FOR IT!!!!! I had my surgery 6 months ago and it's the best thing that ever happened to me. It's VERY scary and that won't change if you wait longer. Your life is going to change in a major way - but in a great way. I've lost 105 pounds so far and I feel great. Think of it this way - if you don't have this surgery and lose the weight, you may be leaving your children motherless anyway. At least with WLS you have a fighting chance!
   — Susan C.

June 15, 2002
candi, I don't know whether or not it is "normal" to feel so anxious and scared, but I felt that way too. I was also angry. I found out during pre op testing that my gallbladder was bad and needed to come out. I was also running out of medication options for my reflux and was facing surgery for that. So, in the holding area, I cried my eyes out, angry that fate played such a mean hand. I could go through with the RNY, get the gallbladder removed simultaneously, and have a greater than 90% chance of stopping the reflux, plus I'd lose weight to boot. My other option was to chicken out and still face at least two surgeries in the future, one that might make me no longer a candidate for RNY. Here I am 18 days out and feeling foolish because the procedure, pain, eating, and recovery haven't even come close to matching the anxiety I had pre op. I admitted to my surgeon that I feel silly for carrying on so. One thing I would change? I'd ask for something to take to help me relax in the few weeks before surgery. I didn't ask, but should have. Good luck to you!!
   — NicoleG

June 15, 2002
Hi Candi! I felt the same way. It took about 7 months for me to get approval and when my date finally arrived, I was so nervous. It was fine when I was just talking about it, but when I actually went in for the surgery and all of the talking was done, it was a different story. I had never had any kind of surgery before in my life. The biggest thing that I kept in mind, though, was that I was more afraid of NOT having the surgery and leaving my children motherless because of being so obese. Besides my own personal health, my children were a huge factor in my decision to have the surgery. I want to be able to keep up with them as they grow. Believe me, you WILL be fine! I wish you the best of luck!!
   — Dona R.

June 16, 2002
Hi there! I just wanted to say that my date is 4 weeks away and I am getting VERY nervous. I am 40 have never been in the hospital for anything( I have no children)So,this will be my first time.......I do have a kind of calm resolution that I KNOW I must have this surgery to survive.When you are in pain all the time and have a list of co-morbities it helps with your resolve
   — Kelly P.

April 14, 2003
Candi - We can freak together! My surgry is scheduled fo June 17th and I'm so excited, nervous and hyper I can't stand myself. Congratulations to you!! You've got a date!!! I am really happy for you.
   — Kim W.




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