Question:
Do you ever lose the MENTAL WEIGHT???

I will be having surgery soon and was wondering if when I reach my goal weight if I'll EVER see myself as "thin?" I cannot ever imagine being able to look in the mirror and see anything but fat, fat fat! Do you ever lose the "mental" fat?    — Robby E. (posted on January 18, 2002)

January 18, 2002
Oh dear, I am sure you will, One of my problems is I dont see myself for as fat as I am. I have always had a very slim picture of me in my mind. Even if I look in a mirror I dont see it. Only when I look at a picture. I can't wait for my body to match what's in my head
   — Diane Rhoads

January 18, 2002
I was just talking to my dietitian today about that very thing today. She tells me how great I look and that I look smaller than what the scale says (because my height), but I agree with the last post, I never thought I was 300+ pounds. I knew I wasn't Cindy Crawford either. I am just 6 months today, still waiting to feel like I am not morbidly obese.
   — Angela S.

January 18, 2002
This has been a question I have had, too. I have always looked at myself as slender with just a few extra pounds on my belly. I couldn't see my face getting fatter. Once I saw a picture of myself in all my fat one day a few years ago, I was totally horrified. I knew "intellectually" that I was that fat, but the emotional issues run over reason every time. What my therapist told me to do when I look in the mirror is to study myself carefully, and then choose someone who will be brutally honest, and go walking with them in the mall looking for someone who is your current size. It gives you another way to see how much you have changed, and keep in touch with your "thin/fat" fears. I'm going to try it this weekend. Good luck to you too!!
   — Sharon H.

January 18, 2002
I could not agree more!!! I, like some of the previous posters, have never really thought of myself as obese. The picture that I have of myself in my head is VERY different than of that which is actually reality. Every time I see a picture of myself, I am MORTIFIED! When I go clothes shopping (VERY rare) I always pick something that I think will fit and it is actually way too small. I just realized that this does not answer your question at all but I was just so surprised to see that other people feel the same way that I do. It's nice to know that I am not alone.
   — Vanessa L.

January 18, 2002
Our minds play tricks on us. My sister once got down to 80#. she was anorexic. I remember confronting her about looking like a skeleton, and she started crying and said every time she saw herself she saw a 300# lady in the mirror. This was unbelievable to me!!! ( she was never overweight) only 8-10# if that. she still stuggles w/ thinking she looks fat. She weighs90# yet she always compliments me on the way I look. 4'11" 200# ( I know I look like a round pumpkin!!!) Our minds really do a job on reality sometimes.
   — Cindee A.

January 18, 2002
This answer is alittle different than the others and I'm not sure if pre-ops will understand it. I don't EVER want to lose the mental weight. I want to always remember what it's like to be heavy. I want to always be able to sympathize with the large person. I feel a kinship to big people now even though they don't even know it. I am a far more sympathetic person than I ever would have been had I been born this way. I know the pain of weight, of being made fun of and because of that, I can still come on here and try and help, talk to larger people and know that even though they say they are fine with their weight because they don't want a thin person to know that they are suffering, I can know in my heart what that pain and embarrassment feels like. So, the answer to your question is I Hope that I never see myself as just a thin person. I hope that I always stay as I am, a large woman having the opportunity to live in this thin body. It keeps me grounded in all sorts of situations. predjudice is not in my vocabulary because I know what it does. No, I am proud to say that I am still a large woman inside. Wear that badge of courage well. It has served us all for years. Good luck in your quest, you'll do great.
   — Barbara H.

January 18, 2002
This is a very good question, one that I am still waiting to find out. I had an open RNY 17 months ago. On the day of surgery I weighed 469 pounds. I have lost 327 and am down to 142 for the first time since I was a teenager. Buying smaller clothes is still very hard for me. I always look at the bigger ones. I can't get it through me head that I wear a size 8. My self esteem is mending in leaps and bounds but I still see myself as a 500 pound person sometimes. It is better but I am not sure it will ever go away. I know the compassion that I feel for others in the same situation will never go away. I want to tell the world how they can be set free from their prision of fat.
   — DeeDubbs