Question:
Has anyone here had trouble with post surgery 'happiness' expectations?
Hi all! I am two days pre-op. I am concerned that losing weight won't be the BIG DEAL that I am making it to be in my MIND so far. Perhaps thats just because I forgot what its like to LOSE and not GAIN! Maybe I am just listening to the few 'naysayers' in my life who keep saying things like : "all THIS just to lose weight??" Has anyone here been ambivalent about the scale? I have a feeling I wil be jumping on it daily! Lisa — Lisa G. (posted on August 21, 2001)
August 21, 2001
Hi Lisa...
yes, if you are like me, you will be jumping on the scale daily...but
unfortunately, that resulted in more depression than happiness. Be
forewarned, and, hopefully, cautious. There is a curious phenomenon
following surgery which you will see referred to here as
"post-operative depression". Not everyone suffers...but I sure
did. Although I know I had it, I'm still not completely sure what it is.
It's more than just unrealistic expectations about the scale, or with low
energy levels while your body heals. It's more than making sure you get
enough protein, water, and B-12...although all those things certainly help.
I think mine had a lot to do with just feeling sickly (lots of dumping and
just feeling crummy most of the time) for the first nine (yes, nine!)
months. I'm a slow loser and plateau'd alot. After about three months, I
gave up looking at the scale at all, and that seemed to help somewhat. Now,
at 13 months post-op, I am most pleased to report that I feel fabulous,
physically, mentally, and emotionally. I have stepped up my exercise
program, watch my nutrition, and make sure I get enough water. Of course,
all the compliments from friends, co-workers, and even strangers helps alot
too. And my new hobby, SHOPPING! Thank heavens for Ross and Marshall's
and The Nordstrom Rack. I never knew shopping could be sooo much fun. But
when you are a little size there is so much available. The styles, colors,
fabrics are so wonderful I have been buying clothes by the shopping cart
full! Yes, Lisa losing the weight is a VERY BIG DEAL! Your life will
change in ways you can't even imagine now. Good luck to you...and please
keep us posted on your progress.
Anne.
— Anne G.
August 21, 2001
Lisa - first of all, good luck on your surgery in TWO DAYS!! When people
would comment about my doing this just to lose weight, I would always agree
and say, isn't it dreadful that it's come to this! The weight loss is not
a ticket to happiness, and I think realistic expectations are important.
Life is much, much easier for me as a normal sized person, and it's a kick
to buy clothes in normal sizes. But, my job is still horrible much of the
time, the people who were crappy in my life are still that way, etc. I'm
saying that there is a lot that won't change, and much that will. As for
the scale - I have an ongoing war with it, will I get on, will I not weigh,
over and over. For the most part, I only weigh once a week. -Kate-
— kateseidel
August 21, 2001
Hi there.   I was really excited before my surgery dreaming of the
weight coming off and all the pretty clothes I could have and thinking my
life would be this perfect thing.   While I <i>am</i>
happy and pleased with my loss and how I look, I have discovered that it's
not all I dreamed it would be. <p> There are issues that I've
sought help with since losing weight and now since reaching goal I felt
sort of anti-climactic about it all.   I've spent the better part
of a year making losing a big issue and now that my losing is pretty much
done I am thinking <i>"is this it?"</i>  
<p> I guess what I wanted to really say with all this ramble is that
yes, losing weight won't make a person happy if their life isn't that happy
to start.   I WILL gain them the self confidence they need to seek
help in most cases.   This certainly happened with me.  
The plus that never goes away is the energy I now have and the joy I life
my life with.   I look for reasons to go outside, reasons to do
strenuous things, and reasons to play with my kids just because.  
All of these possible because of surgery and my hard work. <p>
Much luck!!!
— Jo C.
August 21, 2001
I, too, hit the scales daily. I use it as motivation, though, since I
always consider myself the lowest I have weighed. If I go up a pound or
two, I step off the scale and ignore it. If I go down, I celebrate! As for
doing "all this" just to lose weight, you do what you have to do
to be healthy. I lost weight before using diet and exercise. I went on a
strict 20% fat low calorie diet and worked out at the gym 2 hours a day.
Yeah, I lost weight: 35 pounds in 6 months. But it came back. And I made
myself and everyone around me miserable because I had to be so strict to
keep the weight off. I have lost 64 pounds in 3 months. The next clothes I
buy will be a size 12. Am I happy? YOU BET!!! Do I have energy? Well, I
just spread 22 bags of mulch on my yard and bought a new lawnmower so I can
do my yard myself. Am I healthy? My cholesterol went from 220 to 144 in the
first 2 months and no anemia in sight. Do I work out? Yes, but just 2 times
a week and walking whenever I get the chance. I know everybody's different
but I cannot even image feeling this good on an 800 calorie
"diet." And yet I do.
As I said, I'm a scale watcher, too. A couple of tips: Don't lose heart if
you hit a plateau early on. The scale WILL go down if you're following the
guidelines. Also, take your measurements NOW so you will have something to
compare with. I love to see the changes in my measurements, even if I
sometimes can't see it reflected on the scale. And eat your protein!!!
The bottom line is that if you use your "tool" you will lose
weight. And chances are, you will feel better. You will look better. And
you will be healthier for it. So good luck on your surgery. I wish you the
best of luck!
— ctyst
August 21, 2001
A word of caution: Don't make yourself weight loss goals! I see so many
doing this, and I see so many being disappointed. We cannot plan on how
quickly we will lose weight and we don't need to fall into the habit of
comparing our losses to those of other people. We all lose differently.
For me, 3 and 4 week long plateaus were NORMAL throughout my weight loss.
What we CAN make for goals are things such as: I will drink my water today,
I will get my protein in today, I will exercise for 20 minutes minimum
today. The weight will come off, and you can celebrate those occasions
when you get to a particular number -- just don't make those your 'goals'
and you'll be happier. I celebrated different events different ways --
such as cutting up my Lane Bryant card when I got under 200 pounds! And,
losing the weight IS a big deal! Just wait til people see you after you've
lost the weight! WOW! Most of them don't say a word!!! Isn't that odd? I
think they are either just dumbfounded or majorly jealous, or both. Who
cares? And then, when you maintain the loss for months and months, they
KNOW it is for real! And so will you. Have fun, don't worry, work the
plan. Best wishes!
— Cindy H.
August 21, 2001
Thank you Cindy for bringing the focus back to behaviour. We can only
inderectly effect our weight, but we can directly effect our behaviour.
Drinking water, getting protein, getting exercise, these are things you
have choices about every day. Keep up the good work, and don't fret over
the things you can not control.
— kcanges
August 21, 2001
Lisa, If at all possible only weight "once a week on the same day of
the week as your surgery". (My surgery was on
a Tuesday). And I also weigh on the 8th of every month. Anyway your weight
WILL fluxuate and it will be depressing. I'll also warn you that you can
hit plateaus "very early on". I just came off a 4 or 5 week one
and let me tell you I've been really depressed over it. So it WILL happen.
Just keep doing what you know you are supposed to do. If you go
to my web site you will see some pictures that were taken a day before my
surgery and every month afterward. (There's also a link to my pictures from
this month- Quite a difference I think!) However for some stupid reason I
have yet to fathom I didn't get measurements of my waste, hips, thighs etc.
I'm really ticked at myself for not remembering. I was just so excited AND
scared about the surgery that I forgot. I think that if I had the
measurements it would have helped me during the damned plateaus. It would
have been something positive to see, as I KNOW my fat was going even though
I actually gained some pounds TWICE. If I only had those measurements!
Don't make the same mistake I did. You will need that encouragement down
the road. Good luck with your surgery! It won't solve all of life's
problems but will level the playing field some. ;)
— Danmark
August 21, 2001
I remember how excited I was about this surgery Pre-op. I couldn't eat, or
sleep. I felt like my whole life was on hold until my surgery date and once
I had surgery, my new life would begin! Unfortunately it didn't work that
way. Yes, I lost weight, but I didn't wake up thin so my new life didn't
automatically begin. In fact, I had expected to feel this massive change in
my life and when that didn't happen, I became very depressed. I didn't
realize that this surgery dosen't change your life immediately. It takes
time. The difference is, I know someday I will wake up and look in the
mirror and will be at my goal weight. That's what makes it worthwhile.
Looking in the mirror now, I don't see much of a change. I have to remind
myself that it will happen for me, and that's what keeps me going. If you
can keep your goals realistic (unlike me) then I think happiness will come
a lot easier. Congratulate yourself on the small changes and don't punish
yourself when you aren't losing 60 pounds a month. It will determine how
successful you consider the surgery to be.
— arialee
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