Question:
Just read the entire memorial page. Am in process of becoming approved for surgery.

Really want to do this -- but memorial page spooked me. How did you deal with the fear???    — blee01 (posted on April 29, 2001)

April 29, 2001
Bobbi - I just took the fear head on. I read every sad, frightening and gruesome story I could get my hands on about this surgery. Sometimes I feel like the complications guru! And worse, I insisted my husband read them all as well. I wanted no surprises going into this, and wanted to be able to make as informed a decision as possible. I put my affairs in order, updated my wills, wrote farewell letters, and prepared myself for the possibility of a bad outcome. Once I had done everything I could, I released the fear and responsibility. My spiritual beliefs assure me that when it is time to go, it's time to go, and the fear of death is a waste of precious energy (and pre-op, I had little energy to spare). Being of a practical sort, and quite good at repression to boot, I put it out of my head and focused on the positive outcomes which were most likely to occur. Educate yourself as thoroughly as possible, know the possibilities, make your decision, and then let the fear and anxiety go (I know, I know, easier said than done - but it can be done)! - Kate -
   — kateseidel

April 29, 2001
I did the same thing , I wanted to know the good and the bad. I got over the fear by doing it. I know that sounds kind of simple but I looked at both sides realized I did not want to live my life as it was , with shame and guilt and self loathing. So every day I prayed and read the bible put my faith in God either getting me through this or greeting me on judgement day. I went to surgery with a clear conscience and faith in my surgeon's skills. Fear staid with me in the back of my mind until I woke up in recovery. I was pretty good at supressing the fear with prayer (it never really "went away") after all the years I supressed everything else, fear was just one more thing. I hope this makes somekind of sense to you. I have never regretted my decision to do the surgery even on my worst day's which left me after about 3 months. Now every day is a gift from God that I treasure.
   — Rose A.

April 29, 2001
Hi there. What you are feeling is all normal. I also read the memorial page while researching this wls and I FELT THE SAME . I am a nurse and I got to watch this wls being performed while I was a nursing student. Let me tell you, knowledge is very dangerous! I was so scared. But I came through it and am so happy now, and I would do it again tomorrow if I needed to. Good luck with your wls. please feel free to email me anytime. [email protected]
   — LISA K.

April 29, 2001
First of all, I've never read the memorial page. I am known as the 'Queen Of Denial'. :-) I still had fears and doubts though. Any intelligent person would, for Heavens sake! This is an ELECTIVE surgery that completely changes your life FOREVER! I overcame my fears by researching the topic to death, and then making my decision to go ahead with the surgery. After that, I just put one foot in front of the other and moved forward towards my new life. When the doubts creeped in, and they did, I reminded myself that I made an INFORMED decision and that I had to trust MYSELF. Don't allow fears to dictate any part of your life. I read somewhere once that FEAR is a gift from God... you have to be strong enough to open it up and see what is inside. I did, and my gift is becoming more precious to me every day. I wish you peace with your decision.
   — Laurie L.

April 29, 2001
Memorial Page: http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/wlsmemorial.phtml
   — [Anonymous]

April 29, 2001
Not only did I read and re-read the memorials almost daily, but a friend of mine died about 2 weeks before I had my surgery. She died of complications from her WLS. So because of these reasons, I was a wreck. But I talked to a good friend who was scheduled to have her wls 3 weeks after mine and she made me feel better. She again told me how low the mortality rates were and reminded me that if it was my time to go, I would no matter where I was; on the OR table or in a car accident. That simple reassurance made me feel so much better. Good Luck! By the way, I had a smooth surgery, no complications and now at 7 months postop I have lost 100 pounds!
   — Missy H.