Question:
Has anyone suffered child abuse?

I was just wondering if anyone else had suffered child abuse and if they think it had any affect on their weight. Food was my comfort and best friend (a wolf in sheeps clothing, actually) in a home where I could trust no one. Does the "brain-hunger" really go away with the surgery?    — Renee K. (posted on February 10, 2001)

February 9, 2001
I haven't had WLS yet and I am certainly hoping the brain hunger goes away. I suffered alot of mental abuse and sexual abuse. I had been told alot that I would never find a man to marry me etc.. Yes, I think my weight problem is because of the abuse. I have found that my judgement about the oppossite sex really sucks when I am small. When I am big, I don't have to weed out the bad ones because no one is interested. I am worried about how I will handle the attention when I am small - I have even had the surgeon suggest that I begin working on it now because I will get alot more attention than I am used to. So I am here to tell you I know how you feel. Eating is just another way of carrying on the abuse we endured as children. We have to remember that we are good people and the problem was with them not with us. I know it's hard to always see that and you certainly don't always think through why you are eating until after you have stuffed yourself, and are feeling guilty. You can e-mail me if you want to - when ever you feel that head hunger - get it off your chest.:)
   — K T.

February 10, 2001
I also have not yet had the surgery. I also was sexually molested as a child and teen. I remember thinking to myself at the age of 7"myabe if I gain weight,he'll stop doing this to me...". I think I used my gaining weight as a way to not get noticed. As a shield to protect myself. Now, I feel so miserable and depressed being so overweight. I am attending a seminar next week. Hopefully, this will be my first step towards surgery!
   — camiam

February 10, 2001
Renee, The surgery helps tremendously! BUT, I also go to a counselor as I knew issues I "stuffed" would now come to the surface since I couldn't stuff them anymore. It has been very difficult, but definitely worth it. My marriage almost failed, I have lost some friends, but God has been faithful and we have worked through it. I believe I am finally becoming the person (the COMPLETE person) God intends me to be- but it has been hard. Without the surgery, it would have been impossible! The sugery gave me the tool as well as the courage to get healthy not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well. Life just keeps getting better! Good Luck!
   — M B.

February 10, 2001
Children who endure abuse associate being small with being powerless. This was my battle, and still is my battle today. Part of my preparations for WLS was deep soul searching about the nature of personal power and finding ways to feel powerful without being enourmous physically. I still have 'brain hunger', I still have issues with food, I still have issues with the nature of power, sexuality, and most of the problems that I had preop. I don't have the ability to eat my problems away, which I think is a positive thing. I can't drown my sorrows in chocolate cake, and having to face problems rather than hide them in food has been difficult at times. Do I wish I could eat an enormous amount when I am stressed? Sometimes I do. Am I glad I can't? EVERY SINGLE DAY. Having the cycle of hating myself, eating, and then hating myself for eating has been broken. Healing will come on its own, and I encourage you to have the patience to allow yourself to heal. Good Luck to you.
   — Cara S.

June 29, 2001
I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone. I suffered child abuse when I was younger from my father. My mom was always gone at work and we were left alone with him. He physically hurt us some but his biggest crime was what he did to our minds and souls. I was also later sexually assaulted by a guy in college. I too eat when I'm upset and I use it as a way to numb the pain so I won't have to think. It's like sometimes I have no other comfort in my life except food. I'm 22, 450 pre-op and I know this surgery will change my life but it can't change the pain. I will still be dealing with the pain long after I'm skinny again. I'm taking a Foods and Nutrition class to help me learn about what I'm doing to myself and I'm slowly finding other outlets to deal with my pain besides food. If you ever need to talk, I'm here. God Bless!
   — Lisa W.

September 12, 2003
I was sexually abused as a child and am currently trying to have the operation funded through ACC to no avail yet .Do they not realise the impact of this disgusting past?
   — Sharyn B.