Question:
How would you tell overweight strangers about this site?
We are printing business card-sized cards that you can use to give out to strangers to promote this site. Our goal is to let others know that they input and experience are in high demand at ObesityHelp.com. The cards will read something like:<center><br> We're seeking your help<br> ObesityHelp.com<br> Our members are seeking experience and support:<br> diets success & failures, weight discrimination, health probelms & more.<br><br></center> <br> What variations on this theme would you suggest? The goal is to produce something that our site members might feel comforable handing out to strangers who might benefit from our site. Or, these could be left in places where others would discover them. By emphasizing that WE are seeking THEIR help, rather than implying that they need help, we are much less likely to offend. What tips might you suggest for reaching people in need? Please share your ideas on the topic. Thanks! — ericklein (posted on December 5, 2000)
December 5, 2000
My first initial thought was- don't. Don't tell them, wait until they come
looking for it, but after I read your reasoning, I feel a little
differently. Your suggestion of advertising is a good idea, leaving in
obvious spots (ie Lane Bryant!) However, I myself, could never approach
someone overweight and tell them about this site. I would be too horrified
of insulting them. I still get nervous around people of larger size than
myself, when the topic of my WLS comes up. I figure they'll feel the same
way I felt, when everyone would talk about clothes, diets or exercise. I
felt alienated, then paranoid that everyone is thinking of me......
insecurities I guess, and I would never want to have someone else
expirience that.
— Karen R.
December 5, 2000
I would like to add a personal touch to the opposite side. Like my name,
phone number, and E-Mail address. That way, they could have a buddy to
start off with. I would be happy to buy the cards. People looking at me on
the outside have no Idea that there is a fat person lurking inside!!! When
I am around severly obese people, I talk loudly to my son in front of them
about the WLS that saved my life. When I buy the T-shirt, I will have to
buy several, because I'll want to have it visible at all times!!! 12-5-00
130# skinny on the outside, but morbidly obese on the inside!!! With Love--
— CohenHeart
December 5, 2000
I applaud your good intentions, but I would use extreme caution in handing
out this type of card (even as tactfully worded as it is) to MO strangers.
I know that pre-WLS, I would have been hurt and offended just by being
singled out in that manner. Particularly if you are a long term post op -
- the person you hand the card to has no way of knowing you used to be
"just like them". I hate to be so negative, but if someone had
handed me a card like that, I would have taken it as one more example of
how EVERYONE thinks they know what is best for fat people and here is
another skinny idiot who is trying to "fix" me. Perhaps if the
cards were simply left in conspicous places (as you suggested) where MO
folks might be likely to go and they could pick them up on their own, it
would be OK. I know when I was ready, I actively looked for a solution to
my life long problem. I started out dead set against WLS, and you must
admit that even though this is a morbid obesity support site, the
predominant topic is WLS. Until I did my own research, I thought WLS was
mutilation and one more attempt to treat the symptoms instead of the
disease. When I was ready to look for an alternative to my life as a MO
person, I was open to the possibility of WLS as a valid treatment. In
fact, I now believe that it is the only treatment currently available that
offers any hope of long term success. I may not be typical; this is just
how I felt. If the MO person brings up the topic of weight or diet, then I
think it would be perfectly appropriate and inoffensive to hand them one of
your cards. Just my 2 cents worth (OK, I admit it, I ramble, so maybe it
was more like a dime's worth *grin*.)
— Lynn T.
December 5, 2000
I think it is a great idea. But I would mention surgery on the card so
they have a sense of hope. I mean, discussing diet and exercise got me
nowhere. I think everyone can be rude from time to time. It could save
lives in the big picture!
— [Deactivated Member]
December 6, 2000
I'm pre-op but the more that wls is becoming a reality to me, the more
people I see on the street and so forth that I just wish I could go up to
and somehow alert them to this avenue to take. Since I am still overweight,
it would be easier for me than if I was post-op. I know that a year ago if
someone came up to me that was thin and suggested this site to me, I would
of been very offended. I have already recommended this site to 2 other
people. But I think I was able to because I'm still "in the same
boat" as they are. PS....I would LOVE to let most of Jerry Springer's
guests that they show on TV know about it!!! (lol) ;}
— Gina L.
December 6, 2000
I think handing them out to strangers without their request would be very
inappropriate. All of us know the struggle of being morbidly obese, and
the effort could be misconstrued as yet another hurtful act of
discrimination. I think the tee-shirts are an excellent idea and would be
a non-descript form of advertising the site from the members' perspective.
If a stranger sees the shirt on a member, then they have the opportunity to
inquire. Perhaps at that time, the card could be given to
them.<br><br>I think the best form of advertising would be to
place brochures in the offices of wls-friendly PCPs. When time, image, and
cost allow, progress advertising efforts. My opinion and $.02.
— [Deactivated Member]
December 6, 2000
I tend to agree with Denise B. However, I do think there is a
place for them. Perhaps in WLS Dr. offices? PCP's? Or even sent
out in BTC's information packs? I would even carry some because I do tell
people about my surgery and
some seem interested, but I sure wouldn't presume to give
one to a total stranger. The idea is worht the consideration
you are giving it though!
— M B.
December 6, 2000
More ideas on where to leave the cards: Convenience store and gas station
candy aisles, fast food restaurants - anywhere we were likely to go to
satisfy our emotional bond with food prior to WLS. I don't know about
anyone else, but when I was buying three candy bars at a time and
perpetuating the eternal cycle of eating and punishing and comforting
myself, I could have used this card then. Kinda like putting an AA card in
the bar, huh?
— Allie B.
December 6, 2000
I've got to agree with those who said they wouldn't be comfortable giving
out cards to strangers. In the months since my surgery, I have seen people
& wished I could tell them about WLS & this site, but I know how I
would have taken it a year ago & haven't been able to say anything. I
have mentioned my experiences whenever the topic has been weight, diet,
etc, but IMHO, it's too presumptive to approach strangers. I think the
cards being left where they could be seen is a much better idea.
— Kathy W.
January 9, 2001
I think cards are a great idea but not for strangers unless they ask first.
I was thinking earlier today (before I seen the cards added to this site)
that wouldn't it be great if this site or WLS was advertised or had a story
written on it in the local newspaper? I thought it would be great if we
had flyers to post on bullentin boards around town like at Walmart, Kmart
or laundry mats. I would like to be able to use a card as a small
advertisement in the local paper either paid for by individuals or maybe
even local support groups. I wouldn't dare hand one to a total stranger
without them first inquiring about weight loss though.
— Sherri T.
January 10, 2001
I think the welcome cards are a great idea, but find the awareness cards
are misleading, or may have a negative feel to them once the morbidly
obease person logs on and surfs the site, it may set up a feeling of
mistrust...maybe its just the wording...maybe something mor postive as an
opening line...like "we value your ideas" or something...don't
know why but didn't care for the awarenes cards....but I love your site and
everything you do to assist obease people in their search for answers.
— Debby B.
January 15, 2001
I couldn't help but notice that only 1 of the Welcome cards and NONE of the
Awareness cards even mention surgery or surgical alternatives. This is an
obesity support site and the people here are WONDERFUL, but, in my opinion,
it really is more about the surgical alternative than anything else. I
could see myself maybe giving out one of the Welcome cards in some of the
scenarios you described, but the Awareness cards really, really turn me off
and, imho, are vaguely misleading since they don't even mention weight loss
surgery. If someone had given me one of the Awareness cards a year ago, I
would have been extremely offended. I love this site and all the wonderful
people I have met and e-mailed with as a result of it. Keep up the good
work!
— Lynn T.
January 17, 2001
I really belive that if you have something personal reflecting on the card
its less offensive.
I would'nt share if I did'nt care.
www.obesityhelp.com
Help support Ect>>>>>
I would also get some informaion in the doctores offices
I have been obese for 10 years and although they may have written something
in my chart my PCP has never ever said anything to me and I have had a
couple of changes in my insurance and in my doctors they are the ones who
need to be enlightend as much as us. There fear of offending leads us to
years of private struggles and fights with insurance companies because we
had no idea they should have shown an interest in our health prior to us
asking about the procedures. We know were not healthy but nobody stops to
say anything.requires a fallow up or even asks if we want help.
Either for them to join u in supporting others or for them to know its not
intended to offend them
— Cindy W.
January 26, 2001
i think this is a wondeful idea, there are many people who want to know
about this but are ashamed to ask anyone, or else they are like me, i
thought it was too risky till i got the info from you. so lets inform
others so that they can have a chance for a choice of a new life also.
— Regina W.
January 29, 2001
I think the cards are a great idea. Since I have been researching WLS,
practically everyone I mention it to has questions! I think it will be a
great way to get the word out about the site and the support available
here. Sometimes it helps just to know that you are not alone in all of
this!
— Sandy M.
January 29, 2001
I think this is a great idea but I would like to see something directed at
the Doctors that don't have any info on this.
— Alice T.
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