Question:
Extremely nervous the closer it gets and could use help!

Each day I get closer to my preop H&P and each night I have these images of major complications. I just about work myself into an anxiety attack each time. I have this fear of death and dying on the table. I've done my research and know the chances for that are low, but are there nonetheless. I am a wife and a mother. I am terrified and excited all at the same time. My preop H&P is in 3 wks and then I get to pick my surgery date, but I sure could use someone to help keep me preoccupied with "happy thoughts". My e-mail address is: [email protected] :-)    — Denise R. (posted on October 5, 1999)

October 5, 1999
HiDenise, I have to tell you that I know exactly how you feel.My surgery is in 13 days and I am terrified AND excited. All kinds of thoughts go thru my head at all times and its hard to get to sleep. I don't have any comfort except to tell you that you're not alone sweetie. Just do what I am doing and trusting my decision to have the surgery. Good luck and best wishes to you
   — SherP

October 6, 1999
I know exactly how you feel, there were times I didn't think I could go through with it. I missed many hours of sleep because of the anxiety of having the surgery. I got all my life insurance information, I created a "statement of desire" (in case something happened, my family would know what I wanted), I wrote letters to my kids, my husband, brothers and sisters and lastly I drew up my will. I put all of these in a folder for my husband and family - I felt better but I just knew that something was going to happen to me. AND, during this time I was praying and many of my friends on this site were praying also. I kept doing my research and was so totally convinced that this was the right thing to do that finally the day before the surgery, August 9th, I had a peace come over me and I knew everything was going to be okay. I will pray for you, and want you to know that what you are feeling is okay but you have to be convinced this is the right decision for you.
   — Janet C.

October 6, 1999
Hi there, well your feelings must be completely normal, I have the exact same feelings. I got my approval yesterday and started crying immediately! I wasn't sure what I was feeling. After calming down a little I decided it was excitement and fear. I don't want to die from my obesity. It has caused me enough problems in my life. My rationale is: I could die from a heart attack any moment. So I have to trust that the universe would not lead me this far in this journey to take away my life now. I just keep thinking about all of the energy I'll have, the new look I'll have, and the improved self-confidence I'll have. I am mourning food already tho. That will probably be a sore spot for a while. Hang in there, and write back! I feel better already just writing this. Janet
   — Janet B.

October 6, 1999
Hi Denise, What you are feeling is perfectly normal! If you scroll back through the question under emotions you will see that I posted the same question back in May before my surgery. The answers I received and the wonderful support from the members here and my loving husband helped me get through it. Of course it helped that my Church was praying for me too! I prayed, talked, cried and prayed some more. Then I came to realize that I was having the surgery to SAVE my life. I was going to die from morbid obesity if I didn't have this life saving surgery. That's what I told anyone who tried to discourage me. Best wishes and you are in my prayers! Lynnie
   — Lynn D.