Question:
has the surgery been worth the hassle and extreme life change
my wife is 5'4" 360lb very smart and loving wife,but why do i second think on something that deepdown i know will make her happier.she is also hoping for the fertility god to pay a visit after the surgery which i know its possible but is it worth it or a bit extreme and risky.i have no problem with the financial aspect mainly the health and state of mind for her sake if this doesnt work for her as it has for others.some may say its impossible for it to not work.but i see it as a possibility and am worried she wont be able to handle another disappointment.any information is greatly appreciated and ty for reading my gibberish. — scott E. (posted on April 28, 2005)
April 28, 2005
If she follows her pst op regimen it would be VERY unlikely that she wold
fail to lose weight. This is a change in eating for the rest of her life.
Pregnancy after WLS is possible and chances are much better at a lower
weight. The dietition at her weight loss center would be able to tell her
what adjustments she would need to make when she gets pregnant. I know 3
women who had WLS and then had perfectly healthy babies with uncomplicated
pregnancies.It is recommeded that pregnancy not be attempted till you are a
year post WLS.A loving and supportive family is key to success with WLS.
Good luck with both aspects.
— dianne E.
April 28, 2005
I chose the DS(duodenal switch) form of WLS, and I haven't gone through any
'extreme life change'. My DS has changed how my body treats food, and it
has somewhat changed my tastes in food, but--it hasn't forced me to alter
my lifestyle significantly. I eat normal foods, in normal portions, but
now---that satisfies me, and allows me to lose weight and keep it off
long-term. I feel happier and healthier than I can remember feeling as an
adult.
I'm going through menopause and am NOT interested in becoming more fertile,
but I do have several friends who were unable to conceive prior to their
WLS. So far, all have delivered normal, healthy babies.
Honestly, one big reason I chose the DS over other forms of WLS was because
it offered me both a more normal post-op lifestyle AND a better long-term
weight-loss. If your wife hasn't already, I strongly suggest she look into
it before she makes her final decision.
— MsBatt
April 28, 2005
I would have to say in one word YES. It has been a big change to have to go
through but one road well worth taking if it is the right choice for her. I
have a lot of people saying oh I should get that done thoughtlessly not
realizing how much soul searching and research you have to do before you
make the monumental step in this direction. I always tell people I would
never push someone in this direction unless they are 100% sure this is what
they want for themselves. I was very successful in my journey and I would
never want to be the way I was before but still I knew without a doubt it
was what I wanted before I started and no one could talk me out of it. I
know you are supporting her and a supportive spouse makes all the
difference in the world because it is hard to watch someone go through
these changes. I wish you both the best of luck and I say if she is sure
and knows this is not magic that she must follow her plans after the
surgery, do it. She will love you even more for being the caring husband
you are and being this concerned for her well fair. I am lucky that way as
well.
— UMMADUMMASS
April 28, 2005
the 3 most important things she needs to succeed are - support, support,
support. tell her you love her no matter what at any weight and that you
are there for her no matter her decision. If she has the surgery help her
celebrate her losses as well as being there for her when she is in pain
and cranky. Learn as much as you can about the surgery so you can be as
supportive as possible.
— **willow**
April 28, 2005
I;m 19 months out from RNY and I don't feel like I've made an extreme life
change. I had tried to make the changes I live with now many times before
and have been totally unsuccessful. I tried eating small portions, limiting
my carbs, exercising, etc., etc., and always failed. The first couple of
months after surgery were sometimes difficult but I was no LONGER MISERABLE
as I had been for years before surgery. I am healthy, strong, much more
confident, and sometimes I feel so good I feel as if I want to just cry
with joy. I agree with the earlier poster who said that we have to know
for certain, without a doubt this is what we want to do and that we're
willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. The most important part,
from my perspective, is the head work. Those emotional and mental issues
have to be dealt with and they can crop back up so we have to be prepared
to get the help we need to deal with them. If she decides to have surgery,
and she should do research, research, research and choose the best type for
her, your support will be invaluable to her. I wish you and she the best
as you work thru the decision making process. If you both believe in the
power of prayer, I encourage you to make that a part of your decision
process.
— scbabe
April 28, 2005
i was an unhappy person most of my life. i was limited in everything.
food controled my life and it almost killed me. now i am in control. wls
creates a new lifestyle, a better, healthier, and much happier lifestyle.
i would have this surgery every day for the rest of my knowing how
wonderful the outcome would be. the risk are low and if you follow the
plan, it is easy. if i think about certain foods that i shouldn't have, i
just remember how bad they are for me. i have discovered that i can live
without certain foods! good luck and keep us all in informed. i recommend
wls for those that are ready to start living and enjoy life and that want
and need to get healthy.
— karrie777
April 28, 2005
Hi Scott, I am 4 mos out and I have no regrets. My Mother on the other hand
was totaly against it at first until we went to a support group. It really
helped her to understand all aspects of surgery. It will be a big change
but it will be well worth it as long as she follows Dr's instructions. I
was 330 before surgery now I am 240> I have also heard for some women
this surgery makes them more fertile. So I hope this helps you and please
let us know how she does after surgery.
Theresa 12/10/04
330/240/?
— TAErvin
April 28, 2005
Hi Scott,
Your wife's lucky to have such a caring husband. I feel for your wife. I
started looking into surgery at around her weight and ended up getting
scared out of it, getting worse, having to wait, and then finally having
surgery at 468 pounds! I know the prospect of surgery is scary, but this
may very well be the best thing she ever does for herself. She's already
morbidly obese and likely to develop serious health issues that will likely
require surgery on down the road anyway. I know you don't want that for
her, and this surgery is no more risky for her than any of that. What's
more, it WILL improve her weight. Maybe not all of us get down to
supermodel weight, but there are extremely darn few who aren't highly
successful and end up feeling better than we have inour entire lives. Me
included! Remember also that morbid obesity has a snowballing effect. THe
more weight she has to carry, and the older she gets, the harder it is to
carry around, mobility becomes an issue eventually, and therefore
exercising harder, depression and eating generally worsen, and before you
know it, the pattern typically is, you start GAINING at an exponential
rate. This happened to me also. Getting around was difficult and painful,
so I wasn't working off anything, but more inclined to eat.
AND YES, a visit from the fertility god may definitely be in the cards. I
was infertile for several years due to my weight. Right now, I've lost 260
pounds, down to 208ish, and I'm 6 months pregnant! Women usually become
incredibly fertile after this surgery, and it's perfectly safe. You and she
can visit the post-op pregnancy forum on this site if you'd like more
information. Typically doctors recommend waiting until you're at goal or
12-18 months before getting pregnant to ensure she's not in the rapid
weight loss phase and can nourish the baby properly. Otherwise, it's a
matter of keeping a very close eye on nutrition, is all.
I hope you find some comfort and peace of mind in all this rambling. If you
or your wife have any questions, feel free to email me through my profile
on here. I wish you both the best!
— christied
April 29, 2005
The answer is YES YES and More YES!!! For me this surgery has been life
changing. I hated myself before surgery I had lost who and what I was in
all that fat. I did not know what a great and worthwhile person I am. 20
months later I know how wonderful I am and the fact that I now love myself
as much as those around me have always loved me, every aspect of my life
has improved. The really great part about it is that not only has my life
gotten so much better but it also improved the lives of those around me. I
am a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. This is the best tool,
but don't be fooled it is just a tool. There is real work involved with
this surgery and it is not just physical, there is a lot of mental work to
do to. Encourage your wife to research and learn as much as she can about
this surgery because with knowledge comes confidence. God Bless you for
being so loving and supportive.
Dana Gates
— danagates
April 29, 2005
Yes, it has been ABSOLUTELY worth all of the changes. I wouldn't say
"hassles" at all. Some may see it that way but to me it's been a
liberating life change. I'm very, very happy and would do it all over
again in a heart-beat, without another thought. Best of luck to you and
your wife.
— [Deactivated Member]
April 29, 2005
Scott, In one word I would say absolutely!! At 400 lbs and almost 9 yrs ago
I literally was dying. I tried everything. I am very happy now. I still
haven't reached goal because of medications for other physical problems not
due to wls. But I am happy with a 205+ weight loss. One thing though that
I warn people of is to beware of the understanding that wls surgery only
takes care of the physical problems, not the underlying emotional problems
that got you/or your wife where you are in the first place. It took years
of therapy to understand that. If you want to talk to me further contact me
through my profile here on the wls board.
Cheryl
— molly1226
April 29, 2005
Abso-poso-lutely!!!! All the "changes" that seem overwhelming
at first just become part of your daily routine. People ask me if I have
had to make changes, and to tell you the truth, I really have to think
about it. I take vitamins, go to the gym and eat less, and more carefully.
It really is not a big deal at all and the best thing I ever did for
myself and my family. Best of luck in making the decision!!!
— Fixnmyself
May 1, 2005
Has the surgery bee worth the hassle and extreme life change?
YES.
— sweetmana
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