Question:
As much as I have loved and learned from this Q&A I feel like....

I've "outgrown" this Q&A. Is there a "long-term" Q&A? or another website or....? I am 20 mo. out ....at "goal" more or less, have had lots of success, but the honeymoon IS over and now I feel like I am "in the trenches"......imput? insight? suggestions?    — Debby M. (posted on June 27, 2004)


June 27, 2004
I love iVillage. Not sure if you have ever used that site, but there are message boards there, with a logical and easy to use layout as well as live chat schedules. It is a women's community, though men hang out there as well.. but it is geared towards issues important to women. On that site there is a Bariatric Surgery board that is trying to get off the ground. Maybe you could check it out: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhweightloss Paula
   — Paula R.

June 27, 2004
Don't have an answer just want to remind you to keep paying it forward here by answering questions
   — snicklefritz

June 27, 2004
AMOS MOD CHIMES IN. You have a good idea, and might add it to the site improvement suggestion thread here. But the other side of the coin is that newbies might be helped by seeing how things are going for the long termers out a few years. I will be 3 years out in july, and strruggle daily with food issues and fight regain. Such knowledge might help a new postie discoutraging them from the I can eat anytrhing and still loose. Thats fun while it lasts but those folks tend not to get to goal and have more regain troubles since they never established good habits from the beginning:( Its something to think about... Theres also Michelle Currans favorite the yahioo graduate group where you must be over a year out to post. But anyone can read. The whats distal and proximal mean and how much can you eat at one week out are repetive questions, but for those folks a answer and reassureance from someone a year out might be invaluable. Personally I really value the long termers who come here to help others....
   — bob-haller

June 27, 2004
I'm with Bob in that I too wish more of us "old timers" would stay around. I was 3 years post op on May 8th. So I'm alittle older than him. lol I don't answer as many posts as I use to but this is still my home page and I still read a good share of the posts here. Most people come and go at perhaps 12-18 months post op when things are winding down. To bad they would'nt consider staying to try to encourage the newbies, as they were "once" newbies themselves. Oh well. As for me, I'm staying. ;) I understand your wish to move on, but perhaps move and and also stay here too? :)
   — Danmark

June 27, 2004
Debbie, Pay it forward - what a great movie and an even greater philosphy! I agree that there are probably other groups to get involved with, but I, like Bob and Jack, would like to see you continue here giving much needed support to those of us not as far down the path. I know even though I am only 6 months out, some of the questions are repetitive, but I still read them and the answers as a reminder of where I've been and where I'm going, and sometimes I get some really good tips and techniques. But several times a week, I see questions that give me invaluable information, so I keep reading. Please, join other groups, or even suggest a long term group with OH (what a great idea), but don't leave the people here who might need your expertise. CJ
   — C.j H.

June 28, 2004
When I was a pre-op it was this group that I came to on Thanksgiving day and asked what people ate that were at least 1-yr post op. It was those answers that reassured me I could live with this new life long term. The answers I got were "real food" just much less of it. I was okay with that. I'm almost 17 months PO and try to chime in here and there on questions I can provide some good input on. Truthfully the further out I get I have forgotten and do not remember as vividly some of the early times, so I tend to leave those answers to some of the 6-12 months PO's, but I do feel I have a lot to offer the pre and post-ops especially related to the mental aspects of WLS and major weight loss in general. I was able to lose 200 lbs on my own only to find a major depression lurking in the wings and spent the next 8 years getting my head together and regaining it all and then finally choosing WLS to end this cycle of insanity. But now the further out I get the more the food issues can rear their ugly heads. Doesn't mean I will regain tons as I feel confident I can keep things in check before it would get real out of line, but it will always be a struggle, but one that I have a much better chance of winning long term. <p>It does get tedius after a while to answer the same thing over and over but it is important to remember back when we were in their shoes and looking for information and reassurance that this would not be a life of hell. <p>I agree a longer term post op Q&A would be nice but in order for it to work it would need to be restricted. I was extremely disappointed when I reached the 1 yr mark and went to the Yahoo Graduate group and introduced myself only to be 100% ignored. I seldom go there any more as it is nice to be acknowledged and welcomed. I still stick close with the Yahoo group for people who were or are over 400 lbs as we truly are a fmaily and know what the struggles of the SMO are.
   — zoedogcbr

June 28, 2004
Hi Group!!! Ia m 27 months post op a d I sometimes don't answer a lot of questions. But I stick around and updat emy pages often so i can in fact help the newbies. For me helping them is helping myself because I can at (27 months post op) still identify with their problems head hunger and etc. please post ops lets stick around and help our fellow friends and ourselves
   — tameaka S.

June 28, 2004
Hi Debbie, I am almost 3 1/2 years out from Rny & gall bladder removal. This is the first site I log onto everyday. Most of the time I just lurk - but the site acts as a group meeting for me. Keeps me honest ( on most days) and I get to read messages from some of my favorite PO's. Connie M. 2/13/01
   — connie m

June 28, 2004
Just dropping in to echo the "Pay It Forward" sentiment. I also encourage all of us old timers to ask those "in the trenches" kind of questions so the newbies know what to expect. Sometimes I wish I'd had a realistic concept that it really was a tool and not a magic bullet. If I'd had real life experiences to read it might have educated me on how to maximize the honeymoon period. Just my thoughts and paying it forward sure makes you feel good! Best wishes to you!
   — ronascott

June 28, 2004
The Grad list that the others have mentioned is here: [email protected] I'm sorry that some felt unwelcome there, but maybe it would help to explain that all must be over 1 year out to post, although all are welcome to lurk & learn, and I have found it to be the most honest and informative group out there. It's different than most other lists, there are no rah-rah's or WTG's as in the newbie stage...we've grown past that, for the most part. But, don't be shy and just jump right in, and you'll find that the people are really warm, supportive and incredibly knowledgeable. It's truly the best place to find out what life is really like down the road a bit for us, and it is by far my favorite WLS group on the web! That said, I still do like to stop by here and add my .02 if I feel I have something to contribute. BTW, I will be 5 years out from open RNY on 8/11/04.
   — Leslie F.

June 28, 2004
At 2 years 5 mo post-op, I don't get too much from this site anymore either, so go to the yahoo OSSG grad group referred to below for any questions you may have and for the insight into issues that affect us as longer term posties. However, I do try to visit this site a few times a week to add my longer term post-op voice to the questions all the new post-ops have, as well as periodically updating the profile. I remember as a new post-op how encouraging, supportive and reassuring it was to know that obesityhelp.com was there to answer my concerns, and all new post-ops have concerns, and so I made the committment to continue to try to be one of those supporters to those who follow behind me.
   — Cindy R.

June 28, 2004
As you know, I send people to Grad regularly. Not to get OFF this one (I'm 10 yrs out--someone led/spanked/pushed me, I owe it back), as this has valuable info, too. The Grad list is not always warm and fuzzy and people do cut right to the chase. As for Chris D, I'm guessing you might have come on when we had a Bear for a mod and basically had a gag order on several of us. Hence the end of welcoming. "too much traffic", although there is plenty of OT stuff. That's how camardarie is built. I do not own or mod that list, BTW. The place is like a school, good, bad, ugly, happy. What can go wrong. What can go right. What happens when you hit the 2 yr wall? The 3 yr wall? You have mechanical failure? Are you there alone? NOOOOOOO! Someone has been there or is there with you. You are not alone. Don't let the lack of rah-rah's drive you off. The Grad list is where the rubber meets the road, and I encourage lurking even as a pre-op. THIS list, however, is where the newbies come and some of us do stick around to guide, support and be supported. I think it's critical to my long term success to remember who I am and why I'm here (or there). I have a fatal disease that is in remission. I want to keep it that way.
   — vitalady

June 28, 2004
Michelle, All I did was follow the rules of the grad list and sent a message to the group introducing myself and where I started from and where I was at. I actually joined the group as a pre-op, so I waited about 14 months to be ignored. I also replied to a post the other day and I never saw it show up. It was totally OT and I had relevant experience. I am a moderator on the WLS400Plus group and in my opinion there is no reason to treat someone that way. I'm not looking for kudos and ata boys, but I also would like my experience posted and the fact that I reached the requirements of the group acknowledged. It just seems like the board is very dominated by a few people and trying to break in and join in the discussion is difficult.
   — zoedogcbr

June 28, 2004
Chris, I'm a Mod for the Grads...I just sent you a response to your question about what happened to your post, but I'm answering it here, too. You're NOT being moderated. Your post either was eaten by Yahoo, or was sent to the person you replied to, rather than the group. When you hit "Reply," email is set to default to go to the person, and you must use the drop-down menu to change it to go to the list. Again, we did nothing to your post. Once you've been taken off moderation, after your into, we don't see or know when you post until it hits the list, just like everyone else. Please try again, but just make sure you check the "To" line first...we would really love to have you there! Really!
   — Leslie F.

June 29, 2004
Leslie, or Michelle please help!! I have been trying off and on for a couple of years to join the grad list. I just can not seem to get it!! I get to the main page and register. (although at times that is difficult because I can not remember my password or user name, etc...) Then I just can not seem to advance to read the posts or anything. Can someone tell me what I am doing wrong? I am 3 1/2 years out and I do have some questions that I know would be best addressed THERE. I would LOVE to read about others experiences this far post op. I am doing and maintaining well but I really need some support from the other Old Timers! Thanks if you can help me. I am sorry to "hijack" this question, but thought it would be an extension of those replies already given. Thanks so much!! Shelley
   — Shelley.

June 29, 2004
Shelly, I'll email you privately.
   — Leslie F.

June 29, 2004
Shelley, I got your email, but I can't email you back. So, please email me again, and send me you email addy.
   — Leslie F.

June 29, 2004
ORIGINAL POSTER HERE:..............................................................................................................................Jack, Bob, Daniel, CJ, Chris, Connie, Tameka, Rona, Leslie, Michelle: .................................................................................................................................................*THANK YOU!!!!************************************************************************************* I forgot....................................................................... this website was a LIFE SAVER, MY ROCK EVERY DAY FOR MONTHS....................xoxxoxoxoxo debby...................................................................
   — Debby M.

July 11, 2004
Hi All, just wanted to add that this group here is the best by far!!! You all answer the questions that are asked, no attacking, no ranting, just get to the bare bones of it. We oldtimes, and newbee's all need each other, and can learn so much from each other, I read it everyday, just don't post unless I have something that someone hasn't answered, everyone on here has a wealth of info, and I learn everytime I get on, and most of all I am encourged to keep on. Open rny Oct 01 278/150 God Bless each and everyone of you, Susie
   — lostitall




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