Question:
I have a few questions. My paperwork has just been sent off...

For three years I have been going through a maze of obstacles to make sure everything is complete to send to insurance company. Now that I am waiting for approval my level of anxiety is climbing. I wonder how I deal w/all the mixed reactions I am getting from people? Most are good, but other people make you nervous when they ask "downer" questions. I am ready to live the life that I have never known, but I fear that I will not make it out of the hospital. Is there anyway to make my myself mentally prepared for the actual day of surgery? Third, I was born eleven pounds. I have never seen a thin day in my life. So, sometimes I think maybe I will just look at myself one day after I have lost the weight and just freak out and go crazy at what I see and the choice I made. Is there any chance that my irrational thinking will come true? I would really love a mentor to speak to that has had some of my same thoughts. I try to reassure myself that I will be fine. I have only GERD for a comorbidity but a high BMI. You never know what could go wrong. Thank you. Brandi    — Brandi C. (posted on January 13, 2004)

January 12, 2004
Been there done that lol...counceling really helped me if you are able to go it just may help you as it did me. I was 10lbs 5oz when i was born and kept growing until i was over 400lbs at time of surgery last Sept. Never knew a skinny day in my life, had self esteem issues and depression so bad i became a hermit in my own home. This morning i discovered i have ankle bones never saw them before there was always so much padding around them. So you see things happening different as you loose the weight and you smile in amazement and say Im Worth It and brag all you can that you made another accomplishment in your life. The next day you find another and another after that. I was nervous to some extent before surgery but my surgeon and pcp were both so wonderful they put me at ease. I just kept thinking how much better i was going to feel and beable to do the things i haven't been able to do for so long i made a list. Just keep thinking how healthy and happy your going to be thats what got me thru my waiting period and loads of talking to others helped. If you can get to a councelor do it...i don't think you will be sorry for preparing yourself for a new life you have everything going for you girl. Best of luck!!! Sally
   — Sally H.

January 13, 2004
Welcome to the pre-op jitters! Perfectly normal - part of the wild ride you're just starting on. Sally wrote so many wise things - I, too, recommend making a list - I used it pre-op and a lot while I was recovering from surgery to keep myself focused on why I chose this path. One thing I thought of every night I walked to the parking lot after work - maybe, just maybe I can do this without having my feet hurt so bad I wanted to sit down and rest before getting to my car (and I work 12 hour shifts - could hardly wait to get home!). Well, the first day back at work I realized that already MY FEET DIDN'T HURT! A small thing, but a big thing. You're absolutely right that you never know what can go wrong - but, to me, it's pretty well guaranteed that if we stay MO we're way more likely to suffer from illness and probably shorten our lives. As for what people say - you can't control it. Most of the "downer" question people mean well - but geez - they're not always using their brains are they? I had the pleasure of saying "I told you so" to a real creep. She was a traveling nurse and told me my last day of work before surgery that all I had to do was eat well and exercise. Well, duh! I'm 55, also a nurse, and have a brain in my head which I'm not sure she did. That was her last day with us - until several months later she was again assigned to our hospital and -forgive me Florence Nightengale- I let her have it. I told her how well my surgery went, how my health was a zillion percent improved and told her the stats on dieting that we all know far too well. And I told her how inappropriate her comments were - she was really mean about the surgery being the lazy way out and fat people's lack of control and on and on. Well, she was pretty gracious - I really went off on her - and said that she had learned a good nursing lesson from me. (At least that's what she said to my face :). Anyway, good for you for thinking this through so much, keep your health in mind above everything else and make sure this is what YOU want. For me, it's the greatest thing since sliced bread (which I haven't eaten for 11 months!) Sorry to be so long-winded! Best of luck to you Brandi whatever you decide.
   — [Deactivated Member]

January 13, 2004
I had WLS 1.5 yeats ago an I've lost a grand total of 164 lbs. My best advice is stick with a councler. i found my self very vulnerable and scared once I lost weight and found my self as a "sexual being"again Hence why I started taking Karate and bought a dog, You go through a total mind waarp once you've had WLS. I'm 31 years old and I feel like I'm going throough my teens aggain. Which isn't a bad thing, but it's difficult just the same. But I asure you WLS is worth it! don't let ANYONE tell yoou diffrently. I'd do it again tomorrow if need be. Just be true to your self, and don''t be afraid to ask for help. you'll need it. Seeing a therapist is a good thing. They may not make you feel as though there on your side, but they keep you honest and help you see the real you. Not the lies our brains tell us we are. I wish you well and hope only the best for you. Good luck =)
   — alecia L.

January 14, 2004
Brandi - the road ahead is fraught with fear - fear of the unknown, fear of the 'what-if'...tread on! Hold your head high, and know you will have moments (only moments, though) of regret, and know there are many of us out here who would be happy to encourage you, share with you, even talk if you want, about what's happening as it's happening. I have now lost 93 pounds in 14 weeks. I am 50 years old, and already getting attention I have not had since my late 30's - believe that I am plugged into a counselor and will stay that way. It's a great way to process fears and events. I wish you the very, very best in whatever you choose to do. If you are eligible for WLS, I say go for it. It is not the easy way out - NOT AT ALL - but it is a way out! God Bless you, young lady. Diana.
   — Diana D.

January 24, 2004
You have to ask yourself what type of life do you want to live? My weight before the surgery was 329 lbs. I could die just walking up the stairs. If I'm going to die let it be doing something to make my life better and if something is going to happen as least the doctor is right there. I'm 9 months post op and I'm down to 165lbs. I'm living a life I use to 20 years ago. Playing tennis, shopping for regular clothing. Yes, there is a chance you my have problems and not make it. You must ask yourself, have you everything possible to lose the weight? Or I'm I doing this just as a quick fix. Maybe your not ready. Again, I ask the question what type of life do you want to live?
   — Linda R.