Question:
Can I overcome

I'm a large woman, with a large head (a "parade float head" as Conan O'Brien calls it)and large facial features. Also large feet (size 11) and absolutely gigantic hands. I have never held hands with a man whose hands were as big as mine. I'm 5'8", 295, but I used to be 385, so I'm improving. (No surgery thus far!) I don't have a picture on my profile, so don't bother to look, but I'd say I've got kind of a fat Bea Arthur thing going on. Can anyone relate to this? I know weight loss can not change bone structure, but I wonder if anyone who was always called "a handsome woman" ever became just a regular pretty woman after weight loss? Please know that I don't mean to offend anyone (especially Bea Arthur) - I just want to know if anybody can relate.    — Kim A. (posted on August 1, 2003)

August 1, 2003
Hi, I don't know if this will be helpful, but I am 5'7" and started at 255 at my consult, pre-op. I wear a size 10 shoe, and mt rings are a nine and are not all that loose after an89 pound loss since the consult and 82 since surgery. My shoe size has not changed either, and my bras only went down 1 size from 40 to 38D. I consider myself big boned/large framed. No one ever believes that I weighed what I did. I feel and look better, but I don't think I will ever feel or look petite. All the women in my family are built this way. I feel I may look average or maybe slim, but no hopes of skinny. This is one of the things I'm getting used to. Oh, and I have lost a large amount of weight before, about 15 years ago. I weighed 135 and look at he pics, still seeing slim not skinny. Slim isn't too bad though. I'm learning to live with it!!!!
   — Fixnmyself

August 1, 2003
I can relate in my own way. I'm tall (5'9"), long arms & legs, and I too have large hands & feet (size 10-11), even my toes are quite long, lol. I have often referred to myself as "ape-like", lol. I don't know how I'll feel being built like this as I lose weight (only 4 mo. po), but I look forward to finding out. I think of myself as "pretty" now, lol, and I don't really care what others think of me, lol. Hopefully as the weight goes, I'll just become even prettier, lol!! ;o) ~ Cat (-62 lbs.)
   — Cat S.

August 1, 2003
I can relate. I started at 5'8", 283lbs before surgery. Size 11 shoe, size 9 glove and "one size fits all" hats are always too small. I was a "handsome woman" when I was thinner (a size 14) in HS (I was thin for a brief moment in time), but I have never been "pretty" or "cute". Now that I have lost 60lbs, I am still a handsome woman. The "handsomeness" had gottn lost in the fat some where when I hit 293, but I have re-discovered it. I am still very large because that is my structure, the weight doesn't change that too much although now I am in a size 10 shoe, 8 glove and I can find a few hats that fit. My face has thinned down and I look a bit more feminine. Even when I get to goal in 50lbs, I will still be "large" by most standards. I will never look "cute" or what I consider "pretty", but I will look like a handsome woman, and I am very happy with that. My husband is "large man" at 6'4" and he doesn't like "cute/pretty". Many big guys (and quite a few avg - little guys)like large healthy handsome women. It's all a matter of perspective.
   — M B.

August 1, 2003
i can relate, i have a little pin head! like a peanut on a watermellon body! i think either exctreme is bad the key word being 'extreme' i long for normal, maybe as my body shrinks (and it is) my head will look less pin like i feel like i have this huge bloated face with thie pin-head behind it! like some distorted computer image
   — janetc00

August 3, 2003
I'm 5'8", and I weighted 278 pre-op. Now at 153, I have a BMI around 23. I have size 11W feet, I have large facial features, and I am not petite by any measure. I'm not looking to be cute, however. I aim for a "striking" look, and I think I carry it off with my height. I think we all need to work with what we've got. I'm tall, have great hair, and large eyes. When we find a "look" that's consistent with our good points, it works. My husband believes that I'm beautiful; others have said that I'm pretty. But, in reality, they're all reacting to my "striking" look. Play up your good points, and stop worrying about not meeting some cultural stereotype of "little and cute". Feminine comes in many flavors. Exotic can be VERY sexy! PS - Barbie is boring!
   — Kathy J.