Question:
Has any pre-op people felt detached from your normal life?
I am having surgery in a little over a week and for the past 2 months or so, I have become what seems to be self centered. I seemed to have alienated my best friend and would rather spend time on the web sites finding out as much as I can about life afterward food, vitamins etc.which takes time away from my family too. I have met someone who has become a friend who is pre-op as well and there are times I would rather chat with her than my friends of 25 years. I know this is probably one of the biggest things I will do in life but do we ever go back to a normal life (relationship wise) as we knew it? Feeling a little lonely I guess, and an emotional wreck!!!! — jane O. (posted on June 13, 2003)
June 12, 2003
Hi, Jane! I feel exactly like that! I'm pre-op and scheduled for Sept.
11, but I feel like I'm not "in my life" right now, and I guess
you know what I mean. I spend a lot of time here, and emailing others who
have either had surgery or are going to. I feel like I'm waiting for my
new life to start. I realize that not a lot of things are going to change
about my life, but it just feels like everything is going to be so
different after my surgery. I hope I'm not setting myself up for a major
disappointment. I have a hard time staying focused on work, home issues,
and find it extremely difficult not to be obsessed with WLS. I feel
selfish, too, and a little detached from family. My son is getting married
in July, and I find myself wishing that he would have waited until next
spring, so I'd be down in weight! How selfish is that? If this surgery
works for me, it will truly be a miracle in my life, as I've been MO for
about 5 years, and severely overweight (at least 80 lbs over) for 20 or
more (with the exception of some semi-successful dieting attempts). I
don't think I'm going to feel "normal" (mentally) again until
after surgery. Right now, I'm just kind of in some weird in-between state,
and am not sure how to get out of it! If you figure it out, let me know.
Best wishes on your surgery.
— Carlita
June 12, 2003
I'm also pre-op, with a surgery date of June 25th. I feel that I am
obsessed with the upcoming WLS. For the past four months I have been
researching WLS, scheduling appointments with various surgeons, finally
choosing my surgeon, scheduling and getting pre-operative screenings, and
fighting for approval from my health insurance company. I have joined the
support group associated with my surgeon, which has an on-line group, as
well as, other on-line WLS sites such as this one. I go to these sites
whenever I have free time, and I make time after work and at night for
posting and further researching WLS. I have also set aside long-term
friendships during the last six-months, unfortunately ro rhe point that
they may be non-existing. However, I feel myself drawn to the new contacts
associated with WLS. I would hope that at some point post-op that I would
have a renewed interest in re-establishing my old friendships, if its not
too late.
— David F.
June 13, 2003
Just wait till you go to the other side, when all you want to talk about is
your pouch,how much protein you got in today and my friends love this one
how much gas you have cause you had a sugar free snack!!! :)
— Alexandria D.
June 13, 2003
Ditto
I feel exactly the same way.
— Karen T.
June 13, 2003
I spend all my time on this website TRYING to make friends here and have
YET to be successful... sigh... but that is the story of my life. I reach
out and no one reaches back. It is LONELY when you really have no friends
but I guess we are "grown" now and have to do what is best for
ourselves. "To thine own self be true"... maybe that is the only
way to get things DONE. Good luck in your journey! God Bless!
— Eleanore Davis
June 13, 2003
WOW, I feel just like you, I am 54 days pre-op, and my whole life is about
my upcoming surgery. I fortunenly have been able to meet some fantastic
people on this website, I have become an angel to many, and currently I
have two angels that are my support. I have been so focussed on the weight
that I have to lose before the surgery, that all my friends are probely
getting tired of hearing about it. But i guess I will learn who are my
real friends, because almost everyone I have told ask me questions about
the surgery and they all support my 100%. I am even having a Get Together
for local people in July, I am really looking forward to meeting the people
that I have been emailing. It looks by the responses that you have received
that this is a normal thing, I to was thinking it was just me, that is
obsesed with my upcoming surgery. I to have acouple of friends that I have
known for over 25 years, and sometimes I have a hard time, because I want
to talk about my surgery, and the life afterwords, and I can tell that they
get alittle tired of hearing about it. I am sending a big HUG to you, can
you feel it?
— cindy
June 13, 2003
— amandalianne
June 13, 2003
I'm almost 2 years post. I'm an anxious person by nature. I remember those
few months/weeks/days before surgery putting me in such a state of narrow
minded thinking and obesession that I thought I would burst! I lived. Now,
2 years later, nothing seems to get me worked up. Not new
jobs/houses/trips/family gatherings/holidays/reconstructive
surgery...nothing. I lived through the most life altering, nerve wreaking
event...everything else is a walk in the park. Don't sweat it. What you're
feeling is human nature, and your good 'ol friends and family will be there
long after the craziness of surgery has become a memory. Best wishes! -Kim
open RNY 7/17/01 282/135/125
— KimBo36
June 13, 2003
Hello! I feel the same way. I spend 24/7 on this website, and love it.
Knowledge is power. Yes, I've excluded nearly everyone in my life 4 now,
but, hope and know they understand, and will follow back the friendship
after surgery. Atleast that's my game plan. If not, they weren't my friends
to begin with. I love this site, to the point of being addicted to it!!
Addicted in a good way though. I've learned so VERY much here. Surgery date
of June 23, 2003. Self pay, and I'll be on the losing side. Yippee Skippee,
4 me, you, and all the others. Take care of you and yours, Kathy
— Kathy R.
June 14, 2003
I can totally relate. I've let a lot of other things go in my life. I am
working on my doctorate and I'm having a hard time concentrating on the
readings and the projects due. I am taking a leave of absence two months
before the surgery and until the end of the year (My surgery is November
26). Hopefully, after the break, I will get back on track! Ironically, I
decided to go for my doctorate as a result of making the decsion to have
the surgery, so it is important that I not let that go. I'm ready for a
brand new life!
— beckyvee
June 14, 2003
You are SOOO not alone. I started this process in January and am having
surgery in 10 days (yeah!) I have become almost agorophobic, I never want
to do anything, my husband is probably about to trhow me out of a
window...it has been a really bad 6 months and I am ready to start living
again. ONe great thing is that through this site I met someone really great
and we have become good friends and hang out weekly getting us out of the
house!
— Sarah S.
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