Question:
Interests change after weight loss have less in common

Has anyone found themself having little in common with their spouse after weight loss. I love my husband but he is MO and can't do the things that I long to do now that I can. I feel like if I do them without him it will create probems, but if I don't I'll resent not being able to do the things I've longed to do all my life and couldn't.    — Linda C. (posted on June 3, 2003)

June 3, 2003
Just a thought: Does your husband qualify for this surgery and will he do it.
   — Delores S.

June 3, 2003
If he is not willing to have the surgery or till he does, could you have a girls day or night out and do some of the things you want with a friend? Say a couple times a month.
   — doodlebug

June 3, 2003
My husband isn't MO - in fact he's the exact opposite! But he's gotten very lazy living with his fat and lethargic wife for years. Now I'm dragging his skinny butt out in the yard to do yard work and various other projects. He told me I'm wearing him out. I told him I NEED to exercise and be busy...I'd love it if he'd do this with me, but he's welcome to the television if he's prefer. I realize it's different with your husband because he can't rather than doesn't want to - and for whatever reason hasn't or won't have the surgery to help him. Could you maybe encourage him to join you in exercise and proper nutrition? Frankly, I think this is one reason there is a high incident of divorce (not associated with WLS perse) among people who change over time. The spouse can't/won't change and the rift widens to insurmountable distances. I hope you can find your solution...but you sure shouldn't feel guilty doing those things you've been denied for so long!
   — [Deactivated Member]

June 3, 2003
Both myself and my wife had WLS. I lost it all and got lots of exercise. My wife is a slug, never did exercise and her loss stalled, she is still obese. Sleeping, eating and watching tv are her main interests. ME? I want to be out and about! Its becoming a big problem. I do nearly all the household chores too.<P> Our surgeon says the divorce rate of a MO couple when only one gets WLS is near 100%. Really sorry to tell you that. Why doesnt your hubby get surgery?
   — Sam J.

June 3, 2003
*grinning* I'm sure that most WLS patients have a long suffering and very worn out spouse somewhere in their lives... seriously.. this could be a problem for you. No matter how much I tried to fool myself prior to surgery.. I know its true.. people who are NOT MO do things differently than MO people. I don't sit around as much, in fact, I'm restless and bored most of the time these days.. I'm working on that. My partner was not MO, but she had a few pounds to lose.. she's losing them.. and she does complain that I have way too much energy.. jokingly.. I think she's happy with it.. we run together.. we're going hiking this weekend... One thing is for sure... unless he makes an effort, this will be hard for you to deal with longterm. Good luck!
   — Lisa C.

June 4, 2003
Boy is this a reality for me!!! I have lost 100# and I am doing alot of stuff I never did before. Me and my fiance of a long time dont really get along now, I just went my way because my interests have changed. I REALLY wish I could find someone to be friends with that has gone through the surgery, and we could do stuff together, it would help a great deal in my relationship. I try to think about what drew me to him and that tends to help somewhat but if they arent going to try to grow with you in your new life mabey you need to step back and take a look at things.
   — Lisa J.