Question:
Has anyone with a 3 yr old had surgery? How long did you need help?

I am going in for surgery in July. I have recently moved over 100 miles from my family. I am just wondering how long you would think that I would need assistance since I have a three year old? As well as for myself?    — pherpherv (posted on May 22, 2003)

May 22, 2003
My son turned 3 in May and the next month, June I had my Open RNY. It is a must that you have either a very good dad or support from family members to take care of your toddler during your hospital stay and several days afterwards. Hopefully you have no complications but you don't know going into surgery what may happen so think ahead and have something set up incase. I don't know all of the MUST NOTS for Lap but with Open you can not lift your toddler and giving them baths and such is out for the first 1-2 weeks. As far as giving them attention there is no problem there but doing all the normal things they are used to having you get up and do at thier demand is not going to happen until you heal and get some energy back. My mother kept my son during my hospital stay of 4 days and then for 3 days after that then he came home and his dad had to do all the basic care stuff for the next week because my abdomen muscles were so sore I could hardly move and tired easy. Kids are very flexible but it is different for them to see thier moms hurt and they try to not hurt you but toddlers still want that getting up on your lap and bieng lifted up, don't overdo it and hurt yourself or your inscision. After your healed and not hurting in a few weeks it is back to the same routine of taking care of them. But just my opinion I am glad I had this done when my son was small so that he can grow up with his mom bieng healthy and fit enough to keep up with him. Good Luck
   — Rebecca B.

May 22, 2003
My daughter will be 3 on 5/31, and my surgery was 4/22. My parents watched her while I was in the hospital. I came home with her when I got out, though we would have stayed with my parents if I hadn't been doing very well. My parents drove her to daycare each day and brought her home. They helped bathe her, too. On weekends they took her for a few hours so I could rest. I am very thankful for their help! You will certainly need someone to at least come in and help you (unless you have a significant other who will be home and is helpful -- I am a single mom). It also depends if your child is in daycare or not. If Lily wasn't, I could not have handled her 24/7 at first. And remember that you're not supposed to drive for a while, at least while you're taking pain meds (at least for open RNY). Good luck!
   — [Deactivated Member]

May 22, 2003
i am 10 days post op and have 7, 3.5, and 2 year olds. My sister in law is STAYING with us, because i definitely couldn't do squat right after surgery with this adorable bunch. the hardest is the 2 yearol old wanting me to pick him up! breaks my heart.... BUT she is my ANGEL and i will be S_O_R_R_Y to see her go june 9th!!! So, my advice: GET HELP! even if you have to pay for it! we were going to pay for a nanny, or at least nephew or neice or whatever to come in during the hours that my husband was at work...no way can you risk harming your new body. carol
   — Carol C.

May 22, 2003
depends on a lot of things...does your child require picking up? If so, you should right now, start training said child to climb up on the couch to you for hugs and cuddles and such and refusing to pick them up. It's hard at first, but very doable. Are you having lap or open? If you're having lap within about a week you should be fine for most of the general care of a 3 year old - especially one that is raised to be independent. Open will require at LEAST an additional week. Are you married? You can get by so much better if you have a spouse or someone who could prep some sandwiches, juice and such for the child before they leave for work so that all you have to do is pass the stuff out and not prep it yourself. Is the child potty trained? Diapers are a problem because you have to bend to wipe and change them, but you could get them trained before surgery OR train them to climb up on the couch/bed for changing, limiting your bending and twisting. Mostly depends on the type of surgery your having and how independent you've raised your child to be. Good luck!
   — [Deactivated Member]

May 23, 2003
I am a single mother and my daughter had just turned four when I had my surgery. Exactly one week after my surgery (open RNY, hernia repair ,and gallbladder removed) my mother had a massive heart attack so I was forced to not only drive myself back and forth to the hospital but take care of my daughter by myself. I did okay except I could not give her a bath. I read to her, played simple games ,etc. It would have been nice to have help for at least the first three weeks but we made it through fine.I guess it just depends how needy your three year old is. My daughter likes to hug and cuddle a lot so I think the hardest thing for her was that she couldn't jump up in my lap whenever ahe wanted.
   — blank first name B.

May 23, 2003
I had my surgery a little over 3 months ago (down 75lbs). I also have a 3 year old and he was at home with me from day one after the surgery. I was pretty lucky with him though, because he is extemely independent-loves showers, I was able to bathe him with minimal bending and lifting. He is potty-trained so I basically just supervised him while he handled his business. as far as feeding him goes, I just told hubby to arrange things so that I didn't have to bend and lift heavy objects in the kitchen, but you can do this yourself prior to surgery. Also, don't under any circumstances lift your child,(my son weighs 30lbs)or allow the child to jump on your bed, or fall onto your stomach / chest area. I had to sit my boy down and explain to him that Mommy isn't feeling very well right now, and can't pick you up for any reason. Kids are a lot wiser than we give them credit for. Anthony helped me out a lot while I was on leave by keeping me entertained, finding the remote (among other things), and just being a sweetheart. I enjoyed spending 6 weeks at home with him.
   — Cupcake B.