Question:
Does anyone have a lack of interest in sex

My husband and I are both post-op. We are losing weight, but are still tired (I am 6wks and he is out 5). We just don't seem to have any sex drive yet at all. Is this normal? Vicki R    — vicki R. (posted on April 10, 2003)

April 10, 2003
VICKI, WE MUST HAVE HAD SURGERY AROUND THE SAME TIME MINE WAS 03/03/03 AND THIS IS VERY NORMAL IF YOU ASK ME. I DON'T HAVE MUCH SEX DRIVE EITHER BUT I CAN TELL AS EVERY PUND COMES OFF IT IS INTERESTING ME A LITTLE MORE ALL THE RESEARCH I'VE DONE ON THIS AND BELIEVE ME ALOT THIS IS VERY NORMAL. GOOD LUCK IN YOUR JOURNEY. I'M SO EXCITED I WALKED FOR AN HR AND A HALF YESTERDAY AND AS I GET MORE EXERCISE I FEEL SO GOOD. IF YOU WANT TO EMAIL ME CHECK MY PROFILE EMAIL ADDRESS IN IT
   — PAULA C.

April 10, 2003
It's very normal. It can be that way for 18-24 mo is what my Dr told me. It has to do with hormones and how we feel about ourselves. As heavy people we tend to want to please people. Not only are our bodies going through radical changes, not knowing what's happening, but we are also getting lots of kudos and mor acceptance from other people. My Dr told me there is some gland(can't remember exactly) that controls our sex drive that really goes through changes when we loose weight and it takes a while to get back to normal. Personally, I'm 2 yrs out and am still struggling with the issue. I used to have a very strong drive, now almost nothing. I'm working on it though. Take care and just try cuddling, it seems to fill the void for awile. You are both very early in your post op journey, be patient the changes will come.
   — Janice B.

April 10, 2003
I am 10 months out and am still having that problem. My poor boyfriend thinks I am not interested in him anymore. Someone please tell me my sex drive will come back. I had a very high sex drive before surgery, and now it's like I have none at all. I just don't understand. I'm not on any medications either.
   — Jennifer Y.

April 10, 2003
Hiya :). I'm glad you posted this because my poor husband and I are going through the same thing. I'm a little over 3 months out, and while the thought of sex isn't anything bad to me, I'm just not interested! That's funny too, because I've always had a really high sex drive, and now it's like blahhhh LOL. The few times we've had sex since my surgery have been great, but these days I just really couldn't care less about it. I'm hoping that it gets better, and my poor husband, who has gone from being chased all over the house to being the one doing the chasing, understands it's not him, but he's hoping it gets better too LOL. I wish you luck and hope this gets better for all of us :).
   — SuzAnne S.

April 10, 2003
I experienced this also. It really hit me about three months post-op that I REALLY wasn't interested. It was a strain on my relationship with my husband. He was totally understanding, but I know that after a while he wondered if I just wasn't interested in him. In the last month or two (I'm nine months out)I have noticed that I am becoming interested again and my husband is very happy about that. I was worried too, but I went to the library on this site and after looking for a while I found three or four questions on this topic. I actually printed them out and had my husband read them. It helped both of us to realize that it was normal for me to feel this way and it wouldn't last forever.
   — Jenny S.

April 10, 2003
Yes, I believe it is normal. I didn't get my energy level back to normal (actually much better than my old normal) until almost 4 months. You'll start seeing a difference in a few weeks and your energy level will keep increasing! Pretty soon you'll be posting saying you can't get enough! lol
   — Tracy A.