Question:
Help! How do I see me as I am now?

I am 5"8 and now weigh 166. I had my surgery 2/26/02 and I have lost 106 pounds. I know this sounds crazy but when I look in the mirror I can't see it. Everyone tells me I look skinny. Why can't I see what they see. Anyone out there my size with pictures on this site? Maybe my head will see it then. Please help. Thank you all.    — Nikkimarien (posted on March 29, 2003)

March 29, 2003
I completely understand. I feel the same way. When I look in the mirror I don't see it. And when I look at my pictures it looks like a stranger to me. People keep telling me that I should stop loosing now. To me I still see fat. But I also know realistically I am a size 4 and I probably should not go any lower.
   — Linda A.

March 29, 2003
Hi Nikki, I am not the same height as you so can't share in that way. However, I had surgery just a few weeks before you, live in your area, and have lost 98 pounds and am now a size 10-12, like you. What has helped me see the loss and accept that I am a "normal" size are 3 things. Seeing pictures of myself, accepting the compliments from others (when I realized they really meant it) and the size clothes I fit into. If you are wearing small or medium tops, and a size 10 pair of pants,well, logic tells you that you are no longer large and are now "normal". By the way, long term post-ops, even those 4 or more years out, say it takes years for the head to accept the new body image, especially if you have never been a normal body size before. Do you attend Staple Club support group meetings??
   — Cindy R.

March 29, 2003
Nikki- I thought I posted this question!! I was honestly just about to ask something like this. We don't have the same stats (I'm 5'2" and 135) but I think if you added some inches to me, yours would be the weight I'd be at, so we may look similar. Honest to god, I cannot go anywhere without having someone's face drop and tell me how beautiful I look and they can't believe its me. It is an amazing feeling, and sometimes I feel like I look good (esp when I go to the gym and have guys look at me hehe) but I do not see myself as a size 6. My friends go shopping with me and I pick out clothes, and they tell me to go smaller b/c I just don't know what to where, and have the "fat mental image" in my head I guess. I still don't feel like I should be allowed to wear tank tops. lol even though my arms realisticaly are fine and have muscle. It's just hard to put it in our heads that we lost alot of weight and look different. It will probably take months or years to feel like you are in your own skin. We've been obese for years, if not our whole lives, so it's hard to expect to just feel comfortable and truly see the real you. Just know you're not alone, and sometimes it may take counseling or support groups to get through it. I wish you the best of luck! And congrats on such a great weight loss!
   — Lezlie Y.

March 29, 2003
Just had to post this! Yesterday I had my picture taken with, What I would call a very attractive slim young lady that was receiving her silver award for giving books to our library. OMG...I was not much bigger than her and I thought she was so small!!! I kept having to look at the pics, not from vanity but from trying to get my mind to comprehend that that really was me. By the way...i graduated from Lane Bryant today. Weht shopping and NOTHING in the store was small enough for me. Was I happy...not really...I was wondering where and how to shop for myself again!!! So many choices! I know...don't say it...:)....ahhhhhh.
   — Oldsoul

March 29, 2003
I go to the grocery store and there is this teeny tiny girl pushing her carriage, and I still feel like I am this mondo-huge bull-in-a-china-shop morbidly obese woman...then I walk by someone who used to be friends with my step-child and doesn't like me (I threw her out of my house for having drugs on her person) and she called me a *skinny Xitch*...who, me??? Size 4/6 and I still just don't see it. Have a Sparkling Journey!! ~CAE~
   — Mustang

March 29, 2003
I have this same problem. I look at myself in the mirror, and I still see fat me. And I have been skinny for a long time. But I think certain things are helping me come to terms with things...1)Look at a photo of yourself the way you are now...pics don't lie, just look at "fat pics" sometime and you'll see what I mean!. 2) Realize that you are losing weight probably faster than you put it on initially. Just think, if you GAINED something like 15 pounds in 20 days, you would have a hard time accepting your new found fatness. It's the same thing going the other way.
   — Brittany C.

March 29, 2003
Nikki, I too feel the same way about myself. I'm not quite as small as you or others here on the site and do have a website with my pictures that I take once a month EVERY month so if you go to my link there you will see I have a link to my picture trail website. I turly depend on the word of others and don't think it is a back thing to do. I mean if I still see myself as "fat" or even "obese" then why can't I see what others tell me they see? I believe it is because we have been over weight for so long that our minds have yet to catch up to our bodies? Well keep up the good work with your weight loss and take a look at my pics if you'd like. Open RNY 8/20/02 -124 pounds!
   — Carole M.