Question:
Just needing some support and encouragement

THis is a hard post to write but I feel I need to get it out of me before it suffocates me. <br> <br> I'm lucky in the fact that my family and friends are very supportive but I don't think they understand how hard it can be to still loose weight even though I've had this major surgery [Open RNY]. Sometimes I feel like I will never get to the goal my surgeon has set nor will I ever be 'normal'. Yes, people tell me I've done a fantastic job to shed the 130+ pounds I have, but I still have more to go and sometimes I feel like it's never going to happen. Even worse, some days I convince myself that I am not worthy of being goal weight due to the bad things I have done in the past. <br> I am a manic depressive and I know that these thoughts are more than likely mood talking, but when I get like this, I find it hard to exercise and eat well and do all the things that would assist my weight loss. I do see a cousellor about these issues, but he's on holidays at the moment, due to it being Christmas time. I guess I just need a pat on the shoulder and a "you'll get there" from people who have been there <br> <br> Thank you all for listening. <br> Gremmi.    — Gremlin Q. (posted on December 10, 2002)

December 9, 2002
First stop and take a deep breath! I had my surgery 8/15/2002 and have lost 87 pounds since then plus another 41 since I started in January for Insurance approval. I, too have a ways to go, but it's all in the way you look at things. Sometimes you just have to stop and count your blessings. I'm thankful for the weight I've lost. I'm working hard to lose more, but even if In ever lost another pound, I'm thankful for the health benefits I've already achieved. I had numbness all down my right leg pre-op and 90% of it is gone. All the numbness in my right foot is gone. I'm taking half the meds I was pre-op and working on getting rid of more. My blood pressure is down. I'm thankful for a sweet, adorable loving husband who stresses he loved me pre-op and he'll love me post-op. I'm thankful for a job that allows me to live life the way I choose. They were so good to me during the time I was out after surgery. I'm thankful for a place to live that keeps me warm. I'm thankful that I'm more healthy now that I've been in years and I can actually walk without pain! <br><br> Sometimes you just have to regroup your thoughts, be thankful for where you are today, and structure your plan for the future. I do best when there's structure and most people working on goals do too. My husband says I'm a creature of habit, but it works for me. <br><br>Keep up your protein, water, vitamins and exercise. Get some diversity in your exercise program and that takes the duldrums out of it. When you feel depressed, do some exercise. It releases natural endorphins into your system that make you feel better. Allow yourself a treat or two. My hubby got me some sugar free truffles from Savannah Chocolates and they're scrumptious. I have one every couple of days, so that's my holiday treat. But above all be good to yourself. Regroup and you'll do fine!
   — Cathy S.

December 9, 2002
My mother suffers from manic depression. I know it's nothing you can "just snap out of" no matter what kind things are said to you or positive things are pointed out to you. It is a cycle that has to pass. I know you *feel* that you are unworthy at this moment but *know* that you are worthy. Even those of us who don't suffer from M/D go through periods of low confidence and insecurity and have good days and bad days...that is a normal part of being human...and it's ok...Gremmi, as it's often said, this too shall pass. God bless. -Kim open RNY 7/17/01 -142lbs
   — KimBo36

December 10, 2002
Gremmi, you are who you are, and your past is just that-the past. You can't change what was, only what can be. No sense dwelling on all the bad in the past-its just self-pity. I sometimes think the same way, then snap myself out of it, because its simply something you have no power over, you cannot change it. But you do have the power to move forward. Part of that is learning to "like" yourself. Your counselor should be helping you with this. Once you learn to like yourself, you can start treating yourself better. And eating right and exercising are good things to do for you, no one else. You have lost 130 pounds-just think, that is a whole person! You may or may not get there, Gremmi, but you can sure take your destiny in your own hands if you want to. Thats about all we can do. Try. If it doesn't happen, your still blessed with 130 pounds taken off. And thats a good thing.
   — Cindy R.

December 10, 2002
Hi, first congratulations on your loss. I understand how you feel about never reaching your " goal weight " I started out at 410, it takes us longer. But trust me you will get there. Just think back to how miserable you were 130+ pounds ago. Think of all the new things you can do, and the things yet to be. You should try to forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. And if you dont exercise or eat well one day, well tomorrow is a new day.
   — domestic G.

December 11, 2002
I understand exactly how you feel about not reaching goal. I have reached my surgeon's goal but I don't think it's low enough. I haven't lost any weight in over two months and I get very depressed about it sometimes. Especially when I see a friend, who had surgery 6 days after me, losing rapidly still. I have to remind myself that we are all different and that I am 26 years older than she is so not to judge myself by her. I have lost 160 pounds (started at 346) and am wearing Misses 16/18s. I am waiting for insurance approval for tummy tuck and hernia repair - hope to have it done in January. My surgeon tells me that he thinks I will lose 20 -25 pounds with the tummy tuck and that he thinks the remaining weight is mostly excess skin and flab on other parts of my body. I have huge saddlebags on my thighs - am hoping I can get the insurance to pay for them to be liposuctioned and tucked but it's doubtful. Anyway, I feel so fat some days. And other days I feel thin. I find it the hardest when I start comparing to others. That is something I've got to work on. I think you are normal - we all go through this. Best of luck to you.
   — Patty_Butler