Question:
Why Do I Feel This Way?

I am just five weeks out from open RNY surgery. I have lost about 36 pounds...which I think is pretty good. I started at 295lbs and now weigh 259. Some days I feel very happy that I have lost so much, and other days I feel very depressed that I have not lost more than that. Anyway, my eating is what bothers me. I probably eat around 200-450 calories a day right now....and I am really satisfied with that amount of food. But, that is what my problem is. Whenever I feel "full" or content...I feel terribly guilty. I am not sure why. I feel like if I am NOT HUNGRY then I don't deserve to lose weight. When I feel satisfied and full I feel depressed that I am messing up this whole thing. I actually like feeling hungry because I feel like I am succeeding! Why am I like this and does anyone else ever feel this way? Any advice would be helpful. **thanks**    — Shawnie S. (posted on August 27, 2002)

August 27, 2002
first off, CONGRATULATIONS on your weight loss, you are doing fine! please try not to compare you loss with other peoples (i know it is HARD - we discuss it at almost every support group meeting i have) there are so many factors that affect our weight loss compared with other peoples try to concentrate on your loss - have you ever lost this much weight in such a short amount of time? try to focus on the things you are able to do that you couldn't do pre-op and the way your clothes fit... as far as the psychological aspects - there are many issues we have to deal with. the surgery was on your stomach, not your head, and the issues you had prior to surgery are still there. i would recommend finding a therapist who has wls experience or at least weight issues experience. i have a wonderful therapist... you might also try to find a local support group - research shows that we need support for a minimum of 3 years post-op because of all the issues we have to work through. and it is sooo nice to be with other people who KNOW what you're going through. try to focus on the positive and guilt is a waste of time (easier said than done of course!) when you're full, you're done eating and you can try to be excited that you've given your body what it needs and nothing more! hang in there, you are welcome to email me anytime. [email protected] {{hugs}} kate open rny 6-14-01 pre op: 268lbs goal weight: 135lbs current weight: 130lbs
   — jkb

August 27, 2002
I just wanted to tell you that you are not at all alone in this issue. I often feel guilty about putting a piece of food in my mouth. I feel as though I don't deserve it because I'm still so overweight. I think that it's because obese people are looked at as lazy and greedy by others. Just don't let this get you down. If you watch T.V. at all, you'll notice that a Taco Bell commercial will often be followed by a skin care or weight loss commercial. Go figure. Anyway, you are doing great. Times flies and before you know it, you'll be at goal. Oh, and something that really helps me feel better about myself is to go get a make over. Just me and the girls. ((Hugs))
   — Sarah K.

August 27, 2002
I think (and this is just a guess) that you might be comparing eating after gastric bypass surgery with the DIETING you've done in the past! Have you EVER been on a diet where you DIDN'T feel hungry????? I only did once - with Diet Center. There were some pills you took daily. I remember one ingredient was called invert sugar. (I never could find it in a health store, LOL!) But the pills miraculously kept me from feeling hungry while eating my given portions. Take time to ENJOY your tool and throw that guilt right out the window! You DESERVE to lose weight!
   — Kathy B.

August 28, 2002
Shawnie, we all go thru so many emotions after WLS and losing weight. Our hormones are going crazy as we lose weight rapidly and emotions are really out there. I would suggest two things-one, get into/find a support group and discuss this topic. You can't be the only one who is feeling this way, and number 2, seek therapy with a therapist skilled in eating disorders/body image. And please try not to feel guilty. Eating until you are full for once, is normal!
   — Cindy R.