Question:
Clothes and 'hiding' behind them

Though I'm 7 months and down some 130+ pounds, I still feel the need to hide behind clothes adn not have so many 'outsiders' know how much weight I've lost. I've tried to explain it to the people around me - freinds, family etc but they just dismiss it as a 'phase that I'll get over'. Did anyone else go through this? And how did they deal with it? Do they still do it? Should I be concerned with it at all?    — Gremlin Q. (posted on August 26, 2002)

August 25, 2002
I think I am that way. With one possible exception a hawaiian shirt I dress as I did pre op.I always wanted to wear that hawaiian shirt and outgrew it on the way down anyway. I guess I under grew it. Drives my wife mad. Somehow pre op clothes in smaller sizes just fits me somehow. Its strange and I cant explain it, I just want to blend in.... Untill now I hadnt thought about it much either. Something new to ponder.... Nice buying normal sized clothes I dont miss those $35 shirts at all $12 is just fine by me...
   — bob-haller

August 25, 2002
I wonder if this may have something to do with the fear of failure. If you've tried diet after diet and lost weight only to gain it back, that may be at the root of it. I know that after a while I became almost secretive when dieting because I didn't want everyone monitoring what I ate and how much weight I lost (or didn't).<p>I took the opposite approach when I had WLS. I went into this convinced that this would absolutely work for me. As I lost weight I only wore clothes that fit. I refuse to wear baggy or ill-fitting clothes that make me feel fat. Now, this HAS required me to come to terms with my body as I am neither surgically improved nor a supermodel. I felt very self-conscious about my belly and my calves. But I have decided to love my curly-haired, lily-white, round-bellied, big-calved self in this society where straight-haired, tanned, flat-bellied, shapely-legged folks are valued.<p>It's one of those things you hear all the time (because it is so true): The surgery is only on your stomach, not on your head. If you have issues before, you'll have issues after. WLS just allows you (or maybe forces you) to set aside food and deal with those issues. Sometimes that ain't all that pleasant.
   — ctyst

August 26, 2002
When you have spent years, or in some cases, your whole life "hiding" behind your fat and big clothes, I think of it like walking around in public in the nude..it takes some getting used to! I still feel the best in my big tops and stretch leggings-my pre-op casual outfit. But I have worn some fitted clothes, although over my stomach, and am getting used to it-but I'm definitely not ready yet to tuck in the shirt into the pants and put on a belt as you can see the tummy roll thats left behine-no flat tummy here without some tucking to help. 7 months is not a long time to adjust to a 130 pound loss and you probably have alot more to lose still. Give yourself time to adjust to it all. If you have a support group, bring up this topic as I know you are not alone.
   — Cindy R.

August 26, 2002
I agree with Cindy, it takes some getting use to. But to be honest, you don't want to walk around your whole life in baggie clothes. I recommend finding the part of your body you like the most and finding clothes to compliment that area. You've lost so much weight; you probably need to get use to new clothing styles. Why don't you get a make over with a professional who can help you design a new look. If you know what clothes compliment you, you may be able to start loving the clothes you wear. I think it's so important to have confidence about how you look. It makes you feel good all over. =)
   — Sarah K.

August 26, 2002
The baggie clothes just make you look bigger. When you buy clothes that actually fit you, you'll find that you feel slimmer and trimmer too. I went out to a bar this weekend for the FIRST time since my surgery in November in my brand new size 8 pants and was given the eye by numerous men (and not nasty trolly looking ones either!!) and it did make me feel VERY good about myself for the first time in a long time. I've said this before and I'll say it again, they want people to go see a psychiatrist BEFORE surgery but it should be required AFTER surgery even more to get rid of the negative body images that we carry around.
   — Patty H.