Question:
I'm eating all the time what do I do?

My sister recently passed away in December and I find myself coping with her death with food. My surgery was on Feb, 2002. I lost a total of 118lbs and went all the way down from 268 to 150 and i'm now at 170-175, i'm so scared my sister also had the surgery. She was my support and now I feel I don't have anyone she was only 37 and i'm 23. Nothing makes me happy not even the food but I still eat and get sick and still eat. Please help I don't want to gain this weight back, I just miss her so much. The one thing she kept telling me was to take care of myself.    — mamita093 (posted on April 28, 2005)

April 28, 2005
Honey, please keep your spirits up, I know that it must be so hard for you to try and find a bright side after your sister passed. I do not know what I would do without my sisters. PLEASE for your own sake and for that of your family, go talk with someone. In the early part of your approval process did you have to have a psych eval? If so look up that doctor again. Don't be to proud to get the help, your post here is obviously a cry for it and I wish I could be there to give you a hug, it sounds like you need one! We all have "head issues" when it comes to food and it sounds like yours are just growing due to your recent loss. Don't try to battle this on your own! Don't make your sister decend from the heavens just to kick your butt! :-)
   — MagickalMom

April 28, 2005
I'm so sorry for your pain. I can hardly think about even the possibility of losing my sister without crying. I cannot imagine your pain but I do know you owe it to your sister to indeed take care of yourself like she wanted you to. What would she say to you about eating and making yourself sick? I'm not judging you for using food to try to cope - but you said it's not helping and I think it's pretty clear from what you say it's adding to your unhappiness. I agree with the nice lady who wrote before me that you need some help - I sure would! I went to a psychologist after my dad died and it was a great help. There are also groups for people who are grieving that can help a lot. I learned back then what they mean when they say "Grief Work". It IS work, and the hardest work I've ever done. I think you HAVE to grieve - if you don't it will come out in other, negative ways -like eating badly or other self-destructive ways. I had to learn ways to cope - and part of that was to let myself feel awful. Please keep us posted - and feel free to email me. You will always miss your sister but there will come a time when you think of her that you smile at the good memories you have and will laugh about funny things that happened, and you'll still cry sometimes because you miss her. It's a hard, hard time but there's light at the end of the tunnel I promise. Perhaps you can honor her by paying good attention to your health? My best to you - Bette
   — [Deactivated Member]

April 28, 2005
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my brother 5 years ago, he was 23. I also turned to food to cope with the pain. However the pain was still there. He was shot and killed while at work one night and left 3 beautiful girls behind (ages 1,2,and 3 at the time). One day I just woke up and realized that he would not want me to do this to myself or my body. That he would want me to help raise his children in his absence. and that gave me the motivation to pick up and carry on with my life. Yes it was very hard and there were days I struggled, and I still miss him so bad, but I made it. And so can you. As for support, I would suggest finding a support meeting or turning to a friend or relative for support. You are more than welcome to email me at anytime. Do as she wanted you to do and take care of yourself. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you. Tamara
   — LadyNRed1973

May 4, 2005
Become a member of a group that deals with the loss of a loved one. Go to WLS group. Get out of that house and away from the fridge! Find something of interest to do. A hobby to help take your mind off your sorrow. Use your willpower to eat things that Won't pile the weight onto you. Drink smoothies... they fill you up, yet don't pack on pounds. Make smoothies with ProBlend55. It actually tastes good. Eat rice cakes, fruit, veggies, whatever you know is 'safe'.
   — Dhelynn