Question:
Help! I'm out of control.

I'm 8 months post-op and have lost 124 lbs. I have between 15 and 20 more lbs I want to lose. My problem is that I'm feeling so good physically and I look good now. I never in a million years dreamed I would ever be this thin and have all this energy again. Now that I'm almost to goal, I find that I'm sabotaging myself with food. I'm snacking all the time on pretzels, peanuts, sugar-free cookies, and baked potato chips. I'm not focusing on protein and I've quit walking on my treadmill. I hardly ever get the water in that I need everyday. This has been going on for about a month now. The first 7 months were relatively easy. But now.....I feel that I'm out of control. I'm scared! It's like I didn't learn anything in the previous 7 months. Any advice?    — Karen H. (posted on February 25, 2003)

February 25, 2003
Karen, not to be harsh, but reality check here.. you've listed exactly what you KNOW you are doing wrong. The thing now is to STOP those wrong behaviors in any way possible. If you need to seek counseling to deal with any issues that are leading you back down the snack and no exercise path, then DO so.. Find someone who can help you be accountable.. a friend who's not afraid to tell it to you like it is, your priest, your doctor, a therapist.SOMEONE. THEN.. go back to basics.. go back to the ways of a new post op.. protein drinks and measuring every bite that goes in your mouth. Track your intake using Fitday.com if it helps. Get back on your readmill.. take care of these issues before they become the same old patterns you lived by as a pre op. I have been in exactly the same boat, and you are only a couple of months behind me as far as your surgery date. The demons are the same, and I've battled them as well. I learned that if food is handy I WILL eat it.. the answer? I don't leave things lying where I can reach them. I just wanted you to know that I'm not some know it all trying to jump all over you.. been there done that.. and since you reached out by posting honestly here, you deserve and honest, albeit a bit strong, reply. Only you can do what needs to be done to make your tool work for you at it's optimum. There are likely to be those who will say, hey good for you what you've done so far, be gentle with yourself.. but I personally think it's better that you get prodded a bit more firmly.. you obviously know what's amiss.. so take a deep breath and fix those things.. you can do it! ~Peace
   — Joscelin

February 25, 2003
DEAR KAREN, I THINK YOUR BEING REALLY HARD ON YOURSELF I THINK ALL THE WEIGHT THAT YOU LOST IS SUCH A MIRACAL. ALL THOSE THIGS THAT YOU SAY YOU ARE SNACKING ON SOUNDS REALITIVLEY HEALTHY TO ME IF YOU ARE NOT GAINING WEIGHT AND YOU FEEL GREAT WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM?TRY NOT TO CREATE A PROBLEM IF THERE IS NOT ONE I TEND TO DO YHAT ALL THE TIME. I THINK YOU DOING JUST FINE GOOD LUCK AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. LOVE KIM BOYCE.
   — KIM B.

February 25, 2003
I think the previous post didn't read your message very well. Not drinking your water or doing your protein is not a good thing. I'm sorry, but I have to agree with the first person. Don't beat yourself up, just get back with it. You haven't blown anything, but you could if you don't get back on the program. You know what you need to do and, obviously, you've done it well. Congratulations on your weight loss. You can get back with it!!! Good luck.
   — Kathy S.

February 25, 2003
First, all I've ever heard from day one of this journey is that there would be a 6-12 month honeymoon period when I would be able to lose weight effortlessly(relatively so). Then the HARD WORK starts. You are now in the hard work phase. You have a choice to make. Be successful and build on your great success, or blow it. Plain and simple. Second, you have to feel you deserve the good feelings and happiness that being at goal weight is bringing you and will continue to bring you. If you don't really believe that you deserve this happiness and health, then you will find a way to sabotage it. I agree with the other posts that suggested some counseling to get your head in line with your body. You know what you should not be doing - if you can't seem to stop it, find someone who will help you figure out why you are sabotaging this great success.
   — Susan F.

February 25, 2003
Karen, I am still post op and I weigh 261# 5'3". It sounds like you are doing awesome! Just remember where you came from and how you got there. Remember that there are thousands of people like me praying to have this surgery and some of us may not make it. You have truly been given a gift of life with no serious complications from your surgery. Don't waste it. Keep up the GREAT work and cut yourself a break. Set up small rewards and make sure to keep up the exercise! mk
   — Michelle K.

February 25, 2003
I completely understand where you are coming from. And you do need to be complimented on how well you've done so far, b/c it is an accomplishment. I find myself getting out of control alot, as well. I think I am feeling sorry for myself b/c I have an ulcer and chronic headaches, so I'm always sick and just never feel like myself. SO although I do snack, I always make sure to get protein in first. Start getting back on track in small steps, you can do it! Try getting in all of your water- I make sure I have atleast 70oz a day, it is so important b/c our bodies can dehydrate quickly. Then make sure you eat your protein first. I believe we are allowed to have some carbs, but don't make them the center of your meal, that is what I try to do. Also, get back on that treadmill! SInce you have all your energy- use it towards walking! You've done it before, and once you get into the swing of things, I think you can develop a routine and stick with it. I've joined the gym and love going. I never though I would enjoy it, but I go 5 days a week and just love the way I feel afterwards. I feel healthy and refreshed! I think you can allow yourself some treats, there is nothing wrong with that- just in moderation and not ALL the time. I'm 9 months post-op and down almost 110lbs, I am 10 away from my goal. And losing weight is getting harder, I'm not in the "honeymoon phase" anymore. But as long as we stick with some of the main rules, we can remain a success and will keep the weight off! You can do it, just start slowly! Goodluck to you
   — Lezlie Y.

February 25, 2003
WHOOOOOAAAAAAA girl! Stop- take a deep breath- look at the "before and after" pictures. Read your beginning posts that tell just how bad you wanted this. Is it possible that you are simply at a plateau and need to snap out of it? This dosen't have to be permanent. Maybe read the 12 step program (after all, we are food addicts) and take this a day at a time. A month off and your body is probably going through trauma, trying to figure out what your body is going to do? There's been a LOT of changing going on in the pas several months. Don't beat yourself up. Realize your weakness' and get ahold of yourself. Remove yourself from the house where the temptation is. I'm having my surgery in exactally 2 weeks and I've had nightmares of feeling what you feel. Is OA and option? get back up and tackle this like your very life is at stake (because it is). Get through this phase and you will be a survivor. Let us know how you did it. Just remember, food is our worst enemy at times. You are not alone. Face your demons. Linda Tyler
   — Linda T.

February 25, 2003
I really appreciate your honesty and I understand exactly how you feel about the snacking and feeling out of control and afraid. Me too! But, because of your courage to speak truth, you helped me get refocused. Thanks! I am 8 months post-op as well but I've only lost 80 pounds and can't seem to budge from that number in the last two months. I'm really feeling frustrated and scared. To be truthful, I've been snacking, not taking in my protein or drinking the water I should be, so I'm guilty as charged! But after reading what you're dealing with, I feel I can get back on that horse again and regain my focus! My goal is to be down 40 more pounds by the end of June. I've made a pledge to do everything I need to do to get the job done! Thanks again for your willingness to be vulnerable and transparent to the rest of us out here! Blessings and great success! Melony D.
   — Melony D.

February 25, 2003
Honey get ahold of it now. You have done amazing and you must feel amazing. Keep remembering how you felt before this surgery and why you did it in the first place. Get your behind on the treadmill and change the voice in your head to I CAN DO THIS. In fact you have done it. This is the not the easy way out...having this surgery I mean. You must keep up the good work. Fight the good fight. All the new clothes you have probably gotten and look darn good in. Girl get off the computer and onto the treadmill. Make up some sort of reward for doing your daily workout. Not food. Do not allow yourself to buy the things you mentioned that you are eating. I mean don't even go in that isle. You must get ahold of yourself if what all the other posties say is true this is only a tool and you are far enough along now that overeating is a possibility. You are awesome and have done amazingly well. You are on the brink of your miracle don't let it by you. Good Luck Peggy open rny 9/20/02 -100#'s
   — Peggy A.

February 25, 2003
Thanks for all the responses. And no, I don't think any of the responses were to harsh. Harsh is exactly what I needed to hear. I took all my junk food and gave it to my aunt who lives across the street. I now know that the old behaviors are still lurking and that I can't have those kind of snack foods in the house at all. I feel better today....kind of like I've reclaimed my power. I've worked to hard to get to this point and I'm not going to cave in now. My advice to anyone going through a rough patch in the process is to post your true and honest feelings and behaviors. Let others that have been there lift you up or give you a kick in the pants (which is certainly what I needed). Thanks again everyone and much success wherever you may be in the process.
   — Karen H.

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