Question:
HAS ANYONE BEEN JUDGEMENTAL IN SAYING IT WAS WRONG TO HAVE SURGERY?

I had this woman from my church tell me that this surgery was worldly and that it wasn't God's will for me to have this surgery. I have had peace about this and done research about it since May. I have had others pray for me and even asked God if it wasn't His will to stop me from having it. She told me that peace can be also a relief feeling. She told me basically if I had the surgery that God was not in it and it was worldly. Please respond or email me. Thanks for responses! — Nicole H. (posted on August 27, 2002)

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August 27, 2002
Obesity is a disease. If this woman had cancer, would she go through chemo and radiation in hopes of curing it? Same difference, IMO.
— Leslie F.

August 27, 2002
I don't know much about God's will, but I am certian that He hasn't designated this woman as His spokeperson. Follow your heart.
— Amber L.

August 27, 2002
I'm glad you asked me that question Leslie because she told me she wouldn't do that either. She doesn't believe in doctors and think they are mainly out to make money and careless about us. Thank you for your response and opinion. I agree with you about Obesity being a disease.
— Nicole H.

August 27, 2002
I prayed hard. One by one, doors opened for me, insurance, pre-op testing, you NAME it, it happened, and pretty easily. I half think God was tired of hearing how miserable I was! :) How is she to know what God is "in" and what "he" isn't in? Because she doesn't trust Doctors? As with a Doctor, if I were you, I'd get a second opinion! What she is giving you is her interpertation of God. What do YOU feel.
— Karen R.

August 27, 2002
I am not a religious person so I cannot comment on God's side however, I can say this... My best friend's mother passed away after having the surgery because of an infection. But I have heard of great things regarding this surgery and plan to have it as soon as possible. I have also heard people say bad things like I can't believe you are going to have surgery to lose weight but people like that just do not know what it is like to be very overweight. And then their are other people who just think that the risk of having surgery is just not worth it. But again, I don't believe that. I hope I helped! Take care and good luck, Tamia
— Tamia J.

August 27, 2002
Thank you Karen and Amber for your response. Karen I have done the same thing as you and prayed and the Lord had opened doors for me also. It just shocked me that she would say this. I hardly even know this woman and she wants to judge me for this. She invited me over for lunch to tell me this and felt the Lord wanted her to share this with me before I have this surgery. I think she told me when I first told her in church about it that someone she knew had the surgery and didn't have a good experience with it.
— Nicole H.

August 27, 2002
I am also not a religious person. That lady sounds like a crackpot and extremely narrow minded. Ignore her! How does she know what God thinks? She have a direct line to him? Doubt it! You do with what you feel is right. God gave you the power to choose, right? Then use that power.
— Kris T.

August 27, 2002
The first personI went to see when I was thinking about getting this surgery was my pastor. He said if this surgery is God's will then the doors will open. So far, they have. Easily. If one of them were to slam shut then I would look elsewhere for help. I would tell that lady that you would KNOW relief when she finally held her tongue. Why is it that there is always someone in the crowd that thinks that information goes from God's mind to their tongue? I do not believe in religion. I am a Christian and I have faith in Christ. Religion is a set of rules that very from church to church. Faith is what you have in your heart for Christ. Faith is also something you have in yourself. Do you have faith in your ability to make this decision? Take care, Lisa
— Red T.

August 27, 2002
Lisa, I do have faith in God and I give Him the glory for allowing me to get as far as I have in this surgery process. I was curious in what you think about this. I am getting the responses I thought I would. I wanted to see how everyone elses view was on this. I do plan to have this surgery because it's God's will. This woman needs prayer before she starts hurting other people with her opinions and has no clue what we go through. Thanks for your responses.
— Nicole H.

August 27, 2002
If you've been praying about this and have peace, then the Great Physician has already answered this for you. God bless:)
— lessofme170

August 27, 2002
I can't say what God's will for you is, but I can tell you that the Lord lead me to have surgery. God doesn't want his children to be sick. My surgery was a gift from God. If your motive for having surgery is to be the nest Britney Spears, then I could see how someone would tell you it's wrong. But I highly doubt that's the case. Now that I am happier with myself, I'm a better Christian roll model for others. I wasn't winning very many people for Christ when I was too self conscience to talk to anyone.
— Sarah K.

August 27, 2002
God did not intend for his children to be mean to each other and I have to tell you, that woman from the church was being mean. What she should have said was God be with you and in return you would say, and also with you. When a person leads a good life, then God rewards them with the same. If you are unhappy living life as a large person then your reward will be to live the rest of your life thinner. Keep in mind that God's reward for this woman was to give her a very small mind and no heart.
— Sue A.

August 27, 2002
Nicole, there was a woman at my church who also advised me against having this surgery. She told me that this was NOT what God wanted for me. Later, she asked me if she could send me a diet program to follow. She said she didn't want to offend me so, that is why she asked. I told her she could send it to me, but, that I didn't think I would be following it. Through the times she talked with me, she was kind and caring, and I didn't feel she was judging me. I just thought about it as her being someone who cared and who had God's love for me. There also have been many others in my church who are very supportive for me to get this surgery, and who have prayed for me during all this time. So, try not to be too harsh in your feelings towards her. Remember, God loves her too.
— Patricia C.

August 27, 2002
Ding bats like that woman is one of the reasons I stay away from church. But to answer your question, the apostle Paul traveled some of the time with Luke (a physician). If doctors and medicine were evil then Paul was deceived. You know what? I bet Luke came in handy with all the beatings and stonings Paul went through. ;) Ignore the woman. She's twisted.
— Danmark

August 27, 2002
Good morning my dear sister in the Lord. Let me tell you something if the Lord has given you peace then don't take on anyone else's convictions. I am saved and have been for a very long time. I truly love the Lord and I just had surgery on 23 July and He Himself has blessed it every step of the way. My doctor and his team were saved and the nurses that took great care of me were saved as well. Faith without works is dead. An opportunity has been presented to you as a tool, now grab hold of it with everything that you have and know that God will be there for you every step of the way. Take care of yourself my sister and please stay encouraged. Love in Christ, Lenay
— Dortheria B.

August 27, 2002
Okay, I am not a religious fanatic but I do have a very close relationship with the Lord and I believe in the saying that He only helps those who helps themselves. If this surgery was meant for you then beleive me, in His eyes you have already had it. Your path is already mapped out honey, all you have to do is the right thing and follow your heart to get what is yours. I do not believe that God would want ANY of his children to be unhappy, that's is why we have all of the wonderful things around us everyday. I look at this oppertunity as a blessing. And I am reaching out to grab it. I dont think that your church friend really knows what it is like to have a life threatening disease. Its one thing to be on the outside looking in but its a whole new ballgame to be on the inside trying to get out. Just respect her opinion and realize that it is HER opinion and that you have to do what feels right to YOU. If you follow your heart I doubt that you will make the wrong decision.
— Teekay80

August 27, 2002
I'm a Christian and one thing I have learned in my relationship with God is that it is my relationship. When He has something He wants or doesn't want for my life He gives me the message. When I was considering the surgery I came to the conclusion that this was a diease for me and I needed to seek a medical solution. I had so much peace about it from the Lord that I fell asleep in the holding room, before any drugs were given. The Lord has blessed me with no complicaions. May His healing on Hand be on you. Cheryl Lap RNY 3 months, -70lbs
— Cheryl S.

August 28, 2002
Nicole, as a good friend and Christian sister advised me, God is opening a door for you - so just walk right on through. There are those who will doubt, and unfortunately many of the doubters sit right next to you in the pew. But we are all human, and the woman you mentioned is like many others who try to "block your blessing". Pray for her - this whole experience may enlighten her. God bless and I'll be praying for you.
— [Deactivated Member]

August 28, 2002
i prayed to god before even having the surgery and asked him if this is not his will for me i wouldn't have the surgery.
— flynana47

August 28, 2002
God gave wisdom to the researchers and doctors who perform these surgeries, whether vanity or health. I believe God wants all of his children to be happy and blessed and it is the curse from family generations, whether mental or physical, that we wind up overweight and depressed. The devil wants us to stay depressed and miserable so that we seek hopelessness and desperation for suicide or devious acts. I really believe that this is a blessing from my father above. Everything just worked out and I am thanking Him for it. I feel no convictions, so therefore I feel that I have not sinned against Him. You listen to yur heart and the Lord. Depend on His guidance. You can get advice from anyone, and not know for sure if it is from God.
— Stephanie N.

August 28, 2002
I LOOK AT IT LIKE THIS, IF HAVING SURGERY IS WORLDLY THEN SO IS WEARING GLASSES, GOING TO THE DENTIST, EATING OUT AT THE NEWEST RESTURANT IN TOWN, YOU NAME IT, PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO THEIR OWN OPINIONS, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO HEALTH ( WHICH IS WHY I AM HAVING THIS SURGERY DONE) I THANKS GOD FOR GIVING THE DOCTORS KNOWLEDGE OF HOW TO HELP ME. I AM VERY RELIGOUS( FREE HOLINESS) & I BELIEVE IN FAITH HEALING( I HAVE BEEN HEAL MANY TIMES BY GOD) BUT SOMETIMES IT IS JUST NOT MEANT TO BE & THE LORD GIVES US KNOWLEDGE ENOUGH TO GO FOR HELP ELSEWHERE WHEN IT IS NEEDED. I PRAYED THAT IF IT WASN'T THE LORDS WILL FOR THIS SURGERY TO BE DONE, THEN TO LET MY INSURANCE NOT APPROVE, BUT THEY DID ON THE FIRST TRY, NOW I JUST PRAY EVERYDAY THAT THE LORD WILL WATCH OVER ME, MY FAMILY( THE LONG DRIVE FROM HOME) & THE DOCTORS & STAFF THAT ALL WILL GO WELL. I SUGGEST YOU GO WITH THE SURGERY IF IT FEELS RIGHT TO YOU & JUST PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!! THAT ALL GOES WELL. GOOD LUCK!!!
— CYNTHIA B.

August 28, 2002
If you look through the many profiles on this website, you will see that many of the people who have undergone gastric bypass are ministers. I'm sure they prayed about their decision and received peace from God about it or they wouldn't have gone through with it. Pay no attention to what anyone else says. I myself struggled with the decision and God opened the doors for me. My pcp approved, the surgical consult went well, and the insurance was approved with the first letter. These are the 3 things that I prayed about and if it was God's will for me to go ahead with the surgery, everything would work out and it did! I am 11 months out, have lost almost 100 pounds and am healthier now than I have ever been. Follow your heart.
— Kathy B.

August 29, 2002
Oh yesssssssss I have heard some negative comments about my decision both pre op and post op...I also didn't tell a lot of people b/c it's none of their business..but the other day I was getting a hair cut when the hair dresser said she noticed I had lost weight...I told her I had surgery, she went on and on about how I was crazy and that she would rather keep her hair than loose some to loose weight (mind you she is thin and has no clue!)..I said to her well that is good for you, but hair grows back and I will look better and feel better, not to mention live longer and sacrificing some hair in the short term is worth it..it shut her up..I found it to be insultive..pre op I heard friends say to me that I was crazy..that I looked fine at my weight...YEAH OK..I was 352 lbs. at 33 and a height of 5'8...NOT..they too were also thin..my heavy friends were completely understanding...unless someone has walked in our shoes..they won't understand it..it's best to keep it under wraps as best as possible...best of luck to you!
— Trish R.

August 29, 2002
Many people try to judge us. But until they reach our levels of being unhealthy or going in that direction, they don't understand the necessity for the surgery. I have 2 medical doctors that don't understand co-morbities or the need for my surgery. They won't OK surgery. God is on our side, don't let others change your feelings about this type of surgery. Prayers do get answered. Good Luck! Bye, Mary
— Mary H.

August 29, 2002
hi Nicole. I had someone tell me this too. I feel that God gave us the tools to use. He gave the physician the knowledge and resorces. We are not going against Gods will. Why would he judge us? More he will judge the people who are judging us. People like this woman, cause much hurt for others. It is a shame. Have your surgery, live in Gods will, and He will bless you abundantly. He is giving you an oppertunity to help yourself.
— laury

August 29, 2002
Please don't let people like this woman influence your thinking about the surgery. She probably means well, but is seriously misguided (a bad case of spiritual arrogance, in my opinion). I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that this surgery was God's answer to my prayers for help. God opens doors when we seriously seek him for solutions. Don't let this woman cloud your relationship with God. Do what is best for YOU!
— Cathy S.

August 30, 2002
AFTER YOUR RECOVERY FROM SURGERY AND AS YOU CONTINUE TO LOSE WEIGHT. YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF WITH SO MUCH MORE ENERGY,IMPROVED MOTION AND PHYSICAL ABILITY. THE LORD KNOWS WHAT HE DOING. HE WILL GUIDE YOU. YOU HAVE ALOT OF LOVE, FAITH AND DEVOTION IN HIM. SAVE A LITTLE FAITH FOR YOURSELF AND YOU'LL BE OKAY. THAT WOMAN'S CRUEL REMARKS? WELL, JUST BLESS HER AND LET HER GO.
— Aynikaye

August 31, 2002
Nicole - I seem to remember the Bible saying "If your eye offends you, pluck it out", and it occurs to me that this is just what WLS does for a morbidly obese person. You are changing a part of your body that is causing you much physical and emotional pain and suffering. (we could even get into a discussion about a large appetite, before WLS, leading a person to sin -) Don't self-righteous people give you a PITA? Just my opinion...
— [Deactivated Member]

August 31, 2002
Seems like everyone is replying to this.. :o) I know people like that are hard to ignore especially if they are a pillar in the church and with such an important decision we like to have the approval of others whom we look up to. But since we are only people we are not going to please everyone and need to stay away from the negative influences of others. We all know that God has our best interests at heart and when we seek God's will in all areas of life if we cannot trust the quiet peace He gives us as His answer then what can we trust...another person's short sighted opinions? I think not. Just see this person as what she is...a mere human...someone to be loved. Try not to judge her as she is you, THAT we know isn't God's will. Maybe you could ask her if her judgment upon you is more acceptable to God than your wls. It seems in my experience there are ALWAYS those in church who complain about everyone else to minimize their own sins. As Jesus told the people of the town about the prostitute...you without sin throw the first stone. Seems there is a lesson for your friend. God's blessings upon you. A sister in Christ,
— joyfulnoyz

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