Question:
Does anyone else see themselves differently then they actually are?
I look at myself compared to people's pictures and i always feel that i look WAY larger, even if that person is of comparable height and weighs 100 or more pounds than me. When i was a teenager i was 160 and this same height and thought i was SO fat i wouldn't go anywhere. When i look back at my pictures i realize i was NOT that big and i looked good. Do other's have this self image problem too..and what i am worried about am i probably going to continue to think this way after surgery and weight loss? — paula B. (posted on July 2, 2001)
July 2, 2001
It's funny to me that you brought this up. My mother recently moved here
from Florida and brought with her about 20 photos albums from when we were
kids. I remember thinking when I was younger that I was THE fattest kid
alive. Now, looking at pictures, I see that I really wasn't. I weighed 145
at 13, after 1000-a-day diet. What I wouldn't give to weigh that now. I
think part of it may be my mom is 5'3 and 120#. I was 5'11 by the time I
was in 6th grade and outweighed her, too. I only realized in the last year
how BIG I am now. 420+ is a lot of weight to carry around. I only hope
after surgery we are allowed the luxery of feeling at least
"normal"
— janetlynne69
July 2, 2001
Oh my gosh...YES! My opinion is that people with weight problems rarely
ever see themselves as looking good. Yes, sometimes they do, but if they
gain weight it's back to not wanting to go out w/friends, see people, etc.
We keep from living our lives because somebody will think we're FAT. I had
an RNY open on 1/8/01 and I can see my neck and the beginnings of a waist,
but I can't see that I've lost 70 lbs. I have gotten into smaller clothes
and my "fat" clothes are so baggy I really need to go shopping,
but I still think I'm bigger than I am. I guess if we looked like sticks
we might think we're thin...but would we be happy?
— Betty Todd
July 2, 2001
YES. My image is totally screwed up in my head. When I was 140 I thought I
was huge. Seeing pictures of me then, I was fine. Now I know I am much
bigger, but my head doesn't know it. I keep bumping into things and not
being able to fit in things like I expect. Then I see a recent picture and
OMG I AM GIGANTIC. Oh those Christmas morning in the flannel jammies pics
are terrible! I can't get it right in my head. I wonder if after surgery I
will "understand" that I am small again? What is hard right now
is being on the border for this surgery because yet again I am confused. I
think I am huge, but then am told I am on the Light side of these scales.
Too big, not big enough, too big, not big enough. As my mother said to me,
"When are you just going to let go of your weight image?" I am
hoping I will let it go when it comes off........if it ever comes off.
— Danine N.
July 2, 2001
I read the other answers and I seem to be just the opposite.
I never seem to see myself as big as I really am. Looking in the mirror, or
just down at myself....
I have friends that are overweight also and to me they are alot bigger than
I am, and when I stand next to them, it SEEMS that they are bigger, but if
I ask how much they weigh, I usually outweigh them by anywhere from 30 o 60
pounds. I thought NO WAY do I weigh that much more, but some of us got on
the scales & sure enough it was true. And it is ALWAYS an extreme shock
to see myself in a picture....
My daughter graduated last year & I took a picture with her &
almost didn't recognize the HUGE woman in the pic with her. Consequently, I
try to stay away from cameras...
— Alisa Sheets
July 2, 2001
Wow, I am exactly the opposite. I flit around as if I'm the skinniest
person in the world. I look in the mirror, think I look okay, and go on
about my day..... And then comes the dreaded picture! I look at pictures
and think, "How could I think I looked good that day?" I have
always been pretty confident, and it took physical limitations for me to
realize that I REALLY HAD AN OBESITY PROBLEM. When I can't tie my own
shoes, or sit in a booth in a restaraunt, that's a problem! I am down from
463 to 399, and feeling great. (Still looking in the mirror thinkin' I look
good!) Just be happy with yourself! It will all come with time. :-)
— Kim B.
July 2, 2001
Well, I have to agree with all of the posters. When I was larger I never
saw myself as big as I really was, until the pics or videos were broke out!
If I didn't see those I was a confident individual who thougt I looked
really good all the time. Now that I am 4.5 months post op and 100lbs less,
it's just the opposite! I still see myself as 326lbs! I really hope that
things right themselves soon in my brain!! :-)
— Stephanie E.
July 2, 2001
I really have no idea what I look like. I sometimes look in the mirror and
see the fattest, ugliest person on earth. There are other times, tho not
too often, when I think I look pretty ok. I try to avoid all cameras.
Sometimes I think I shouldnt because regardless of how I feel, my kids
should have pictures of their mother as they get older. I'm about 100 lbs
overweight, yet when I look at posts in here of people who are about my
height and weight, they seem SO much thinner to me. When I see someone that
I consider extremely heavy, I ask my husband if I am that big. Of course he
always says "no" lol I think he's afraid not to. I can relate to
those who always felt and/or were told how fat they were as kids only to
look back at pictures from those days and see a kid who looked perfectly
fine. Maybe not skinny like some, but certainly not obese. Makes me sad to
think there are millions of children out there right now being made to feel
ugly and worthless because others are of the opinion that they don't fit
the mold of what a child's body should look like.
— Donna L.
July 2, 2001
There is a term for this, psychologically; it's called Body Dysmorphic
Disorder. Basically, it's when you're convinced that your body is a
different size than it actually is. (Taken to the extreme, it's the basis
for Anorexia Nervosa.) Some people on this site have gone to counseling as
their body shrinks, as the weight loss can happen so quickly that it's hard
for our minds to keep up with it. No one can predict how you're going to
feel after weight loss. Just keep tabs on it, talk about it here, and if
it gets unsettling, head to a counselor to talk it out. Every post-op here
will have had moments when, passing a mirror, they didn't recognize
themselves. That's a momentary BDD in action. Good luck and stay with
the group!
— Nancy G.
July 2, 2001
Like some earlier posters, I always thought my body was OK. Maybe not a
head turner, but I never felt that people were staring at me because I was
obese either.
Although I was weighed regularly at my doctor's office, I just couldn't
seem to reconcile the numbers. The fact that I weighed 253 pounds at
4'11" tall and was morbidly obese somehow escaped me. Even when I saw
the pictures of myself and couldn't believe that was me, I would quickly
forget and still act as if I was thin. Maybe because I was a "normal
sized" child, teen-ager and young adult. I was also very athletic, so
I kept that body image. However, once I began to have SEVERE health
problems, I realized I was MO and needed to do something. My body image
since the surgery is like a roller coaster. There are times when I can see
the 70 pound difference in my body, and feel good. There are other times
when I realize that I am 4'1" and STILL weigh 185 pounds! I see all
the fat around my midsection and think about how HUGE I am. I guess this
long-winded reply is just to confirm that our brains play tricks on us when
it comes to body image. hang in there, we ALL have some trouble coming to
terms with body size and image, but I understand that eventually, the brain
and body size will reconcile.
— Maria H.
July 3, 2001
I feel your pain!!! I have some similiar things. I think that as a teenager
or other stages in life we are comparing ourselves to whatever social or
societal standards we have then, like hs friends, hs programs, other family
members) As we get older, our comparisons change and so will our
prespective on past weights. Example: I cried at age 12, because I weighed
119 pounds. I just didnt get why I couldn't weight 90 pounds like the other
skinny girls. Today, I would KILL to ge 119. In fact, thats not even a goal
of mine because that would be to perfect in my head now. Same thing for hs.
I was my same height and weighed 160. Compared with the girls in my
seventeen magazine I was sooo fat, now I see it more clearly.
— Courtney W.
July 3, 2001
Oh Yeah!!!! I had my rny three years ago and I'm down to size
18/20...for a 30/32. After all this time, when I go shopping I
still look at the 22/24's. Even though I know that I'm smaller.
Mentally, I can't seem to accept my true size. I recently ordered
some bra's from a catalog and despite taking careful measurements...
I ordered a size larger!!! Of course, they are all too big!!! Sometimes
when I get a look at myself in a window or mirror, I'm a bit
suprpised that I'm so "small". I'm working very hard at losing
an
additional 40lbs....so....I do wonder how that will affect my vision of
myself.
— [Anonymous]
July 3, 2001
TOTALLY, both ways, one day I feel I am huge and gross and then I take a
peak at myself, and think- hey, looking good!... Then I feel I am OK, and
take a peek and I am fat and gross again!!!!!
— Karen R.
July 3, 2001
Recently, I was at a bar when a couple of guys came on to me. When they
finally got the picture that I wouldn't go out with either of them, one
asked if we knew any little redheads. My friend said yes, "but she a
bit overweight". The guys said, "Forget it then!" I looked
at this guy incredulously and said, "You've been coming on to me all
night long and you won't go out with someone who's a 'little overweight'?
Have you even looked at me tonight?!"
<p>
Wow, what a reality check. I realized right then and there that I looked
'normal' to people, yet I still have 23 lbs. to lose to get to the high end
of my goal. My mom and ex-husband have told me not to lose 'too much'
weight, or I'll waste away. But when I look in the mirror, I see the apron
and the big thighs, the stomach that isn't flat and the riduculously
overmuscled calves from carrying all the extra weight for so many years.
But on good days, I see a well-defined waist, long legs and a neck and
dimples. Generally, I like how my body has turned out after the WLS - even
if it isn't a hard body, it still has curves in all the right places.
— Allie B.
July 9, 2001
I've NEVER been able to perceive my body size realistically. I feel the
same size over a 100 pound variation. I feel heavy now, but only because I
have physical difficulty during certain activities. But I don't have any
real awareness of the weight. Personally, I think it's a defense
mechanism for me. If I don't "see" how large I am, I don't have
to feel the depression that results from being aware of my obesity.
Anyway, I'm working on trying to be aware of my body as preparation for my
surgery. Knowing that there is a solution/tool coming, helps be to judge
my body less harshly.
— Kathy J.
July 11, 2001
WOW** This post has been good for me!! This has been "MY" issue!!
I am down over 100 pounds from a size 30-32 to a 22-24 in 5 months. I know
I wear a smaller size. I can feel some "bones". My husband keeps
telling me thatI am doing good and my family and friends that I haven't
seen much since surgery are so full of complements but.... I just don't see
it!! I look in the mirror and I still just see FAT. I still fill like the
biggest person around. I know I didn't have brain surgery just stomache
surgery but come on 5 months and over 100 pounds gone I need to see it! I
am thinking about seeing an eating disorder therapist but my husband is so
against it.... He says I need to just believe him that I am looking good.
Any feedback for me would be great. My email is [email protected] Thanks!
— [Deactivated Member]
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