Question:
When will I see myself the way others see me?

People keep describing me now as 'tiny' and constantly asking me why I want to lose more weight. I realize compared to how I started out, I am much smaller -- under 4'11' and started at 206.6; now weigh 129.4, but I am short too - under 4'11". But when I look in the mirror, I don't see what they see. I see that I am smaller compared to before, but to me, I still look fat. My hips, butt and thighs are still way too big. I am in size 6, sometimes 4, but my measurements are 36-29-39. That is far from tiny! Will I ever see myself the way others see me? Don't get me wrong, I am THRILLED with the new me, but I still want to reach my personal goal of 110, maybe less. Also, what can I say to these people who think I am nuts for wanting to lose more? Thanks for your thoughts on this.    — pjnick (posted on January 19, 2004)

January 19, 2004
I can relate! I am just over 9 months out and 5 lbs from my original goal. Up until a week or so ago all I saw when I looked in the mirror was the imperfections! I saw the flabby belly, thunder thighs etc. One day last week I caught my reflection in a window and realized I am now small. I'm still coming to grips with that reflection, but the past few days I have been feeling pretty confident. As far as other telling you you don't need to lose any more weight, don't let them get to you. People started telling me the same thing when I was still 30 lbs to goal. I just keep telling them that per my surgeon, a healthy weight for someone my height is xxx lbs. I currently am in the "normal" bmi range, but still have 5 lbs to reach my surgeon's goal and I'd still like to lose another 5-10 on top of that. You're the one that has to live in your skin - don't let others dictate where you end up! Hang in there! Barb 4/07/03 5'3 235/135/130
   — Barbara C.

January 19, 2004
I can totally relate! Well, kind of...I am 11-1/2 months post op, 5'7", down to 134 pounds, wear a size 4/6 (37-27-36), and have people tell me how tiny I am all of the time. When people question me as to losing more weight, or say I really don't need to lose any more, I tell them that my surgeon said that he won't worrry about the continued weight loss unless I go below a BMI of 19 which, easily gives me another 15 pounds to 'play' with. And, that I actually want to go a little below my goal weight (I'm trying for another 10 pounds) because my surgeon also told me that most people gain back up to 10% of the weight they lose as 'bounce back weight' before they stabilize...so, by losing a little more it gives me a bit of a safety net. Hope it helps...it usually does the trick for me.
   — eaamc

January 20, 2004
Pam, I really understand how you are feeling. I am 5'0" tall. However, My son says I am 4'11 1/2 inches, but I am going to have that extra 1/2 inch if it kills me. But that is beside the point. I have lost down to 132 lbs.wearing a size 4 jeans. I think I look great most days, but then I will get up some mornings and all I can see is fat. I don't even want to get out of bed. It is that mind thing. My family and friends tell me all the time how great I look but no matter what they say, if it is one of those mind thing days, I can't see it. Sorry about the grammar, I am not in the mood today to speak right, lol. I have to be aware every day that I have to think positively and work at keeping my head right. If I don't do that I will not survive. I wish you the best of luck. Hang in there, and if you ever need to talk, you can e-mail me at [email protected]. I will be glad to listen.
   — betterfitness

January 20, 2004
Pam if you cannot see such a big different in weight lost you might need to find someone you can trust or a therapist - this is a mental disorder (don't know the name) but it will assist you in getting to why you see the "old" you and not the "different" you. Does not mean you're crazy - just means you need a little assistence in appreciating your accomplishments - and learn how to reward yourself.
   — Anna M.