Question:
I was scheduled for surgery but I chickened out.
I WAS SCHEDULED FOR SURGERY AND I CHICKENED OUT AN HOUR BEFORE I WAS TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL. I HAD FLASHES OF NEVER SEEING MY KIDS AGAIN. WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE. I CAN'T SLEEP BARELY CAN EAT AND NOW I WISH I WOULD HAVE GONE THROUGH IT. ANY SUGGESTIONS? I AM ALSO SCARED TO TALK TO MY SURGEON. — annette J. (posted on September 20, 2001)
September 20, 2001
Also, in the interim, get yourself some therapy. At the very least, it
will help you feel a bit more positive about this.
— Dee P.
September 20, 2001
Good for you. The time was not right and I think you definetly did the
right thing. Like someone ahead of me said, get some therapy to sort out
your issues. You need to believe this surgery is for you. Nerves before
the surgery are natural, panic is your body's way of saying, "no
way", "not now!"
— Aloha D.
September 20, 2001
It's one thing to chicken out ahead of time and leave the surgery slot for
someone who has been hoping and praying for their turn, it's entirely
another to just not show up. Please do get some help in dealing with your
anxiety so that another surgical time slot is not wasted.
— [Anonymous]
September 20, 2001
I feel for you it was a terrible spot to be in.. I wish so much you would
have talked w/ them and not left them in the lurch but hey hind site is a
whole other story. Call them be honest and see what can happen.
Definitely talk w/ a counselor and go through your thoughts.. you'll get
there if you really want to. Try getting something prescribed for you
anxiety.. fear before surgery is very common. I had it with my
hysterectomy and other surgeries.. but I showed up. Heck my hysterectomy I
had more of a chance of dying that w/ WLS.. anyway good luck ok? I hope
you work things out ok.
— Dawn R.
September 20, 2001
i know that she did'nt chicken out on purpose. we must realize that people
are so very differant with their emotions and for you to say that she was
stoping another person from having the surgery is just mean. we are on this
site for support and not to judge. we are judged everyday in just being
obese!!!!
— [Anonymous]
September 20, 2001
I have felt the fear you had, I was beening rolled into have a biopisy on
my breast, I was 27yrs and had a 6yr and 1yr and thought I would die and
not see them grow up. WELL, I am now 50yrs and they are grown and married
and have kids. this is what you want this surgery far, to be able to grow
old to see your kids kids grown up. If you don't do it for yourself, think
about them. tell your doctor of your fear they can give you something to
relax you. I am asking for something for sure. good luck oh and I did have
cancer.
— Sharron J.
September 20, 2001
If you check the library there is someone who was in the hospital and on
the cart who decided she couldn't stand it, so she got up, dressed and left
the hospital. And there are other stories like this. I'd suggest you
contact your surgeon's office and try for some counselling to help you.
Maybe some meds would help too. Good luck. Nina
— [Deactivated Member]
September 20, 2001
Annette,
I Was very close to backing out so I CAN RELATE. I think you should call
your surgeons office and maybe see a counselor and get some anxiety meds.
The only thing that helped me was research and more research and talking to
the people who are post op in the chat room. I have 4 small kids under the
age of 10 yrs old and I cried for a long time with fear thinking that I
would not come home to them. I am 2 weeks post op and would be happy to
answer any questions you have. Take Care Annette and know that you are not
alone in your feelings and IF you do decide to have this surgery it is not
too late....:)
— Diane P.
September 20, 2001
My surgeon says this occurs sometimes, and he has operated on them at a
later date when they decide its time. Being a post op I KNOW how scary it
is and was honestly shocked to wake up in recovery, I was SO certain I
would die. I had decided life wasnt worth living as I was with diabetes and
possible blindness. So I had no choice. God has given me a second chance I
am down about 65 pounds in just under 2 months and am doing fantastic. Your
only human and your not the first or last to chicken out, its part of your
surgeons job to deal with customers like you. My surgeon agrees, we are
customers and you know customrs are always right.:)
— bob-haller
September 21, 2001
You didn't "chicken out". You weren't ready to take such a
monumental,
life-changing step and you (rightly and responsibly) decided to give
yourself more time to think about it. You don't owe anyone any
explanations
and you shouldn't bee bad about this at all. I work in health care and
this
happens quite frequently...speak honestly with your surgeon...he/she will
certainly
understand. Why don't you see a mental health counsellor for help in
sorting all this
out. There's no rush....take your time.....don't let anyone force you into
making
a decision. If you ultimately decide that you do want wls, you can always
begin the
process again. Also.....ignore that drivel about the surgeon's operating
schedule....
that's the absolute least of your concerns!!! You did the right thing!!!
— [Anonymous]
September 21, 2001
I agree with the person who said the timing was not right but in the other
hand if you back out the surgery afraid of dying and trust me I was also
afraid when they were wheeling me into the OR; wasn't the thought of dying
due to the excess weight(that is slowly killing us) the reason why you
wanted to have the surgery in the first place????? just a thought...
— [Anonymous]
September 21, 2001
Hi, I remember the whole week before surgery I was debating whether or not
to show up. My day had come and I was in the waiting room filling out
forms, and all I could think of was, "leave now! leave now!, try
another diet!". But none the less, I went in. Scared and shaky. I
think after they wheeled me into the OR, is when it sunk in that I was
really doing this and that's when I told the surgeon's assistant that I was
making a mistake, of course I don't remember her answer, or anything for
that matter, I was out right after that. I really think that if I hadn't
been medicated asap in the OR, I would have run out with my butt in full
view. You didn't chicken out. Something told you that this wasn't the
right time. Talk to your surgeon, explain your fears, He will probably try
to calm you down and let you know that you will be ok. Then you can try
again. I'm sure you aren't the first patient he has had to change their
mind. Good luck!
— Carey N.
September 21, 2001
As I went into pre-op, all I could imagine was that I would not wake up.
I'd already had lots of surgeries, as my various parts failed or
malfunctioned, due to obesity. So, as I see it now, I can have THIS
surgery & maybe prevent others, or just wait til I'm sick enough for
the next one, whatever comes first. AND giving myself the alternative at
the time, which was to die on the table (I thought) OR to die, in bed, on a
ventilator, while my family watched helplessly, I did not see life without
one of those options in front of me. See my profile for which I chose.
— vitalady
September 22, 2001
I too, am in a panic due to my upcoming surgery. My kids are 12 and 8,
but they still need their mom!! But as one poster put it to me, I have a
bigger chance of dieing of morbid obesity than on the operating table. And
never seeing
my kids. So... that's how I am starting to think. Good Luck!
— Cindee A.
June 13, 2002
I too chickened out the first time around...but 2 weeks later I was back on
the OR table and went through with it. I don't know what really happened
the first time. They said my temp was up just a bit as well as my white
blood cell count...so the fear of possible infection starting scared me to
death! I made it up until they said it's time to take you to the OR...THEN
I freaked! I already had all the meds in me including the versed....but I
still said no I can't do it!
I'm now 2 months post op and glad I did! :)
— robinleigh
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