Question:
I am 6 1/2 months post op and down about 165 lbs. People are telling me how good I

am looking and some even say I'm looking too skinny. Yet I still think of myself as obese. Any tips or advice on how to overcome this?    — Randy W. (posted on November 9, 2004)

November 9, 2004
I wish I could help you on this one. Even though I'm in the "normal" range of BMI I think I still look fat. I keep revising my goal weight. I'm still losing (slowly) and I have a HUGE fear that I'm going to gain the weight back.
   — SJP

November 9, 2004
First, don't let people mess with your mind. If you have a goal weight in mind, go for it. I have the same problem. When I was at my heaviest they would tell me you need to lose weight! Now that I'm down to 140 lbs they tell me I'm to skinny! People I haven't seen in some time don't know its me until they hear my voice. When I look in the mirror I look like the same person but smaller. If it bothers you, please see someone. This is the part of the process that Doctors do not talk about. The emotional issues that we must overcome. Why do you think diets don't work. The food part of diets are good but they don't deal with the emotional issues that made us fat in the first place. The emotional demons are what will push us back to gaining unless we get them under control! Good luck.
   — Linda R.

November 9, 2004
Can't help you much either. I am 120 lbs and I can't accept it. I went for my ps consult (full tt on 12/17) and he said I don't have ANY extra fat at all.. everything is just skin. It seems like fat to me! I think of it this way: I have looked at myself a certain way for 31 yrs. How can that be overcome in a few months? It takes time! Good luck!
   — SarahC

November 10, 2004
I agree with Linda dont let people mess with your mind. I was told yesterday by a few people not to lose another pound --I'm still 60+lbs from goal. I feel great but would still like to lose more. Your choice your goal with the help of your surgeon's office and go from there. If you need help emotionally go to a counselor. Best wishes
   — debmi

November 10, 2004
didnt mean to sound so abrupt with the counseling stuff...what I meant was dont be afraid or feel bad if you have to seek counseling. I did during my first year as a postop and it helped so much. I had so many issues from being an obese child (150+kindergardener)I was able to learn a lot of coping skills and I am still losing. Again Best wishes! Deb
   — debmi

November 10, 2004
Hi there, Here's my opinion on the subject. I am 1 year post-op and have lost 140 lbs. When I look in the mirror, or see a new picture of me, I really have a hard time realizing that it IS me! I have been fat since the 2nd grade, now all of a sudden, there's this new me. Very bizarre! I have recently started seeing someone and she doesn't quite get it either. She's a month out from her surgery and I can only try to explain to her how hard it really is. This is a good topic to bring up at your support groups, or one-on-one with a counselor or therapist. This is one of those "side benefits, that wasn't in the brochure. I wish you good luck in this very difficult part of your journey. All the best, Robert Mastrianna
   — Robert Mastrianna

November 12, 2004
Randy, Everyone has to figure out what weight they are comfortable at. According to your profile you are a 34.4 BMI which to most would mean you probably do want to lose some more yet. Men lose very fast and I think seeing that huge a transforation in only 6+ months is shocking people. Work with your doctor and yourself to figure this out. I'm sure you also are having a hard time adjusting because it has happened so fast. While it is wonderful it is a HUGE change we need to absorb. Some people always have a hard time seeing themselves as they truly are now - normal sized. I've actually always had the opposite problem. I did not see myself as large as I was but when I would see pics I was like who's the Goodyear Blimp. I wear a size 12 in misses and maybe a 10 after the healing from the PS I had 2 days ago finishes and I hung in the 190's before this surgery. For a woman that is considered on the higher side. I'm 5'9 and carry my weight very evenly, even before the doc hacked off all the excess skin. I have huge knee bones and that factors into how thin I want to be. I have found a place where I am comfortable with how I look. I look healthy, I can buy clothes anywhere, and I feel at home in my body and that's most important to me. I am smaller now than I have been since around age 10. I would suggest talking with a counselor or minister or a close friend to sort through some of this. It is a whirlwind time in your life and you don't want the mental you to start playing all kinds of negative games with you. You have done awesome. If you want to slow the loss down for a little and catch your breath, then do it. I also lost quite fast for a female and found that I have struggled a lot trying to find that maintenance life. I never slowed down to the 1-2 lbs a months. I have pretty much stopped losing since starting PS at 12-3/4 months PO but it's because I made the conscious choice to do so, but unfortunately it's been with less than desirable choices because I did not want to keep losing. I don't want to end up looking like someone who has traded SMO for anorexia. This is my mental piece that I need to work on. We all have issues to work through! Good luck and keep up the hard work.
   — zoedogcbr