Question:
I am scheduled for open RNY Sept 10 and am worried about caring for my family post op

My partially disabled mother and 14 and 11 year old children live with me as their only caretaker. I have been widowed for 9 years and they rely on me for their needs. When will I be able to or feel like preparing meals after surgery? This has me more worried than the surgery.    — k G. (posted on August 8, 2003)

August 8, 2003
Hi k- I am pre-op with an 11 year old son. I have the same concerns that you do, except for the disabled mom issue. I'm tentatively scheduled for Jan '04. My son and I have already begun talking about the WLS. I have explained that this is something I need, and he will have to do his best to help out during my recovery period. (My husband will take off from work while I'm in the hospital but may have to go back periodically when I get home.) I am planning to stock up on things that my son can prepare for himself, such as sandwich supplies, fruit, granola bars, etc. I also allow him to make simple microwave foods such as spaghetti O's, frozen dinners or chicken nuggets, and popcorn (although we're still working on not scorching the popcorn :o) If all else fails, if you can plan ahead and have some money in the house, what about having the kids order a Pizza or Chinese food delivery? I am also going to stock up on paper plates, cups and disposable cutlery to cut down on the mess for my recovery time. As far as your mom goes, being that she's partially disabled, could you call your local nursing association (?) and arrange for some home visits due to the situation? Also, I think your kids may be old enough to help out with Grandma during this time. I know my son is eager to help me, it makes him feel "grown up". If you explain to your kids that when they make a sandwich, make one for Grandma too :o) The biggest thing is that you have to have faith in your kids; if they are hungry, they will eat. If, say, they wear mismatched clothes to school, the world will still revolve during that couple of weeks when you're still healing. Everything will be fine, k. I hope our kids and families will develop a new appreciation for us after all is said and done! Best wishes on your surgery, hope it goes well :o) Mea
   — Mea A.

August 8, 2003
Lap procedure is 'easier' and quicker to recover from. Of course everyone is different, but I wasn't worth a darn for the first three weeks. I was tired and I hurt. And I was STARVING to death! I was on 3 ounces of clear liquids per meal the first week. Then for the next 2 weeks, I moved on to 3 ounces per meal of full liquids (yogurt, Instant Breakfast). Then I spent a month on pureed/soft foods. It was then that I began to notice my energy level increasing. Open RNY will take some healing time. I am a fast healer and I have a very high pain threshold. I did not go back to work (office work)for 6 weeks. I noticed I needed AT LEAST 9-10 hours of sleep those first 6 weeks. I tired easily. I guess if you are in good shape before WLS and you are young, you might bounce back more quickly. Good luck to you and don't push it. Be sure to take your vitamins and drink your water. This is SO important for a speedy recovery. Open RNY 10/30/02 down 183 lbs.
   — Ginger M.

August 8, 2003
Can your 14-year old help you with meals and stuff? Kids that age should be able to give you lots of help, I would think. My 8 year old was a tremendous help to me, fetching things, helping with his little brother, and even fixing his own sandwiches. If you have a microwave, you can stock them up on meals that they can fix themselves real quick. Keep some snacking foods on hand too, like carrots, crackers, yogurt, etc. (or other stuff they like). I was up and around at about 3 weeks but it was pretty slow (I had open RNY with gallbladder removal, so it took me longer to recover). You may be moving around earlier - lots of people do. Use your pain medication when necessary. It helps a lot. Rest when you need to, but not too much ... the sooner you make yourself move around, the quicker you will heal!
   — MomBear2Cubs

August 9, 2003
in case of emergency call 1-800-grandma, or grandpa, whatever your case is. If it weren't for my parents especially my dad who would pick us up and take me to appointments and such I could not have done this. My husband is super and a big help, but he works alot and my daughters were 3 and almost 2 when I had my surgery in Feb. ('03) so I could not lift then which included putting them in the car. your kids are older, so it should be easier on you, and they will understand if you tell them you need to rest etc. good luck and happy losing!!!!!
   — SHILOH S.

August 9, 2003
I would recommend having a friend, mom or signifigant other to help you for at least the first week. I also want to tell you that I go in the day before you do and may God Bless you and take you through this journey safetly...0 = )
   — Ms. Aldo B.

August 9, 2003
I am 4 weeks post op from open RNY. Today will be my first trip to the grocery. I've not been able to vacuum my house or carry anything over 5 lbs. which has made keeping up the house difficult and buying groceries impossible. I couldn't drive for two weeks. I couldn't even take care of my cocker spaniel the first week. A friend has shopped and vacuumed for me and cooked for me until now. You'll need help.
   — Margaret G.