Question:
Has anyone written letters to kids/hubbies
I know it's rare, but we could die in surgery/ complications. ( I know we can from other surgeries too) But, Is it silly to write letters to your kids? mine are 11 and 7. thanks — Cindee A. (posted on August 31, 2001)
August 31, 2001
Hi Cindee, I wrote letters to my 3 children (12, 19, 20). I included my
telephone numbers and gave the youngest extra $ for bowling and movies. I
told them how much they meant to me and dropped the cards in the mail
before I left. I think you are asking about a more "serious"
kind of letter, wanted to let you know what worked in my case. Best
regards ~
— Gail R.
August 31, 2001
Well, I'm about to have surgery in 22 days and I haven't written them yet,
but I do intend to write letters to all 4 of my kids. I'm going to leave
them with my sister to give to them just in case. And if I come through
this with flying colors like I assume I will, then I believe I'll probably
give them to them anyway, so they'll know how I feel. I guess I'd better
get started. This is going to take awhile to write 4 of them!
— Yvonne R.
August 31, 2001
I finished up my letters a couple of days before surgery. It was a very
emotional thing to do... I wrote one to each of my parents, one to my
daughter(7), and one to my hubby. I went out and bought special paper for
each person, and did it up fancy on the computer. I also wrote about what I
wanted 'just in case' I didn't make it through surgery (as far as
arrangements.) It's really a tough thing to do, but I can honestly say once
it was done I felt a tremendous weight lift off of my shoulders<no pun
intended! I put everything in a manilla envelope, sealed it, and gave it to
my mother for safe keeping. I told her that under no circumstances should
it be opened unless...... Of course I told my family how much they meant to
me before surgery, but it made me feel better to write down my feelings on
paper. I hope this helps you in your decision.
— Kim B.
August 31, 2001
I was going to...then I thought "they know that I love them" so I
did not. But what I did and it had a real impact on my husband, was a
wrote a note and stuck it in the drawer of our computer desk, asking my
husband to post to Obesityhelp.com that I had not made it through the
surgery. He said, until then, he did not think that I had any worries about
it.-Marie Kozak
— Marie K.
August 31, 2001
Hi, I also gave my family a letter. It simply stated that this was a
treatment for myself, and that I appreciated their support, gave it to my
Husband, and 2 grown sons. It was hard to write, there was nothing morbid
in it's contents. Just that I loved them and would be able to spend
healthier times with them in the future. It's hard to write feeling down
about life, especially when it is this serious surgery you choose to have,
it really makes you think of choices. thank you.
— Debbie H.
September 1, 2001
I wrote a few goodbye letters to my wife and friends but for fear of
freaking out my wife Jen didnt give them to her. On the morning of surgery
I told my surgeon to tell her about the package and where it was in the
event things went badly and I didnt make it. Told dr schauer before they
gave me any happy drugs. My first thought awakening after surgery was
surprise I had survived, I was that convinced I was going to die. Well its
been a bit over 5 weeks I am off my diabetic and high blood pressure meds,
in fact all prescription drugs. My blood sugars are normal and pressure on
the low side, I get dizzy standing up fast. My vision has improved from 20
60 to 20 40+. I feel great and have lost 50 pounds. Surgery is the best
thing I have ever done for myself. Post Op is the place to be.
— bob-haller
September 1, 2001
I wrote letters to my husband and two children (17 & 19). I also wrote
out detailed instructions about my wishes in the event of my death. I put
everything in a large sealed envelope and gave them to my best friend and
told her to give them to my husband only if I didn't make it. Not long ago
she called me saying she had found the envelpe and asked me what I wanted
to do with it - I told her to throw it away as I was pretty confident that
after a year I was going to make it! Writing these letters was one of the
toughest things I did before the surgery, but I wanted my family members to
have something to hang on to after I was gone even if it was just a piece
of paper.
— georgiacarol
September 1, 2001
I did write them to my husband, and my two daughters (12 & 8 at the
time). It was quite emotional for me, and I cried like a baby while I
wrote them. I placed them with my will, where I figured they'd find them
if anything went wrong. That was a year ago, and I have just kept them
with my will, and vowed to add additional letters from time to time. I
like knowing that I'll have a final goodbye when my time comes. -Kate-
— kateseidel
September 1, 2001
It is definitely not silly to write those letters. I considered writing one
to my hubby (we have no children) but then I decided I wanted to talk to
him face to face rather than a goodbye letter. We discussed how much we
love each other, what my final wishes were, our hopes for my improved
health, etc. This was actually a series of conversations over the last
three days pre-op. By the morning of surgery, I was totally at peace with
whatever outcome lie ahead. Needless to say, I survived (with flying
colors!) and my hubby and I were drawn much closer by the experience. Write
those letters, but also try talking to your children as much as possible. I
know they're young, so you don't need to talk about dying, but talk to them
about school, music, movies, whatever, so that they'll have those final
memories, "just in case." Best wishes. Maria
— Maria H.
September 1, 2001
I did write letters to my husband, parents, and two-year-old son. The one
to my little boy was the hardest. I knew if I died during surgery, his
memories of me would be limited. It's hard to fit a lifetime of lessons
into a letter. I left them in my nightstand and told my Mom where they
were located. When I got home from the hospital (and could climb the
stairs!) I tossed them out. It's a good way to say "I love you"
just in case. Cris
— Cris C.
September 1, 2001
I also wrote letters to my Mother, husband and daughter. As soon as I came
home and since I made it thru' I tore them up. I cried the entire time I
was writing them sitting at my desk at my office.
— Laura M.
September 1, 2001
What kind of letter do you write to someone you love very dearly and that
doesn't even know you are having the surgery? I am having surgery in
October and I am having a hard enough time thinking how to write letters to
my family that does know, but I want to leave something special for a guy
in my life that I love beyond what words can say, and he doesn't know about
the surgery (long distance thing). Any suggestions?
— Rachel E.
September 1, 2001
I wrote letters to everyone close to me. Friends and family. I sealed each
one in an envelope with the persons name on the front. My husband passed
them out to family and friends after my surgery. The letters were not what
ifs. they were letters telling that person of how they have effected my
life, how much I love them and a special thing I remember about them.
Everyone really liked those letters.
Cynthia
— Cynthia L.
September 2, 2001
To Rachel,
Write the letter to your guy, and give it to someone
else to give to him "in case"
— [Anonymous]
September 3, 2001
09/04 - I wrote letters to my husband, my sons and my 6 grandchildren. I
had a newbie granddaughter(4 days old) when I had my surgery on 7/24. I
still have those letters and will update them once a year until it is time
for those nearest to get them. Hopefully that won't be anytime soon. Good
luck - Debi
— Deborah M.
September 19, 2001
I have not had my surgery yet, don't even know if my insurance will pay for
it. I do plan to write letters to my husband and kids. I will give them
to a friend, just in case I do not make it. My family knows I love them,
but I feel I need to leave something should there be a problem.
— DebbieJ
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