Question:
Positve, sucessful ways to deal with emotional issues immediate post-op

Please share positive and successful ways to deal with negative emotional issues (e.g., depression, fear, anger, hurt, complusive eating) that arise in the days and weeks immediately after surgery.    — Pat C. (posted on August 31, 2001)

August 31, 2001
I am 15 months post op. I have lost 150 pounds. I knew that it would be difficult for me to deal with emotional issues, since in the past I have dealt with issues by eating. Now, however, I cannot do that. Instead, I really have to make a conscious effort to find other constructive ways of dealing with the feelings and stress...like excercising, cleaning, reading, but trying(trying being the operative word here)to stay away from sugar and food. For me it is a constant struggle, and I bet I am not the only one.
   — twenc

August 31, 2001
You are on this site and that is one step in the right direction. It really helps to know that other people have gone through the same things you are going through. This is one time when it is good to focus on the future instead of the present. Don't say, "I have only lost 15 pounds," but, "I have accomplished 10 percent (or whatever) of my goal." Realize that most of what you go through is normal. You just had major surgery and your body will act weird. You will have pain. Your mind will play tricks on you. Try not to worry too much. Remember that this is a process. You did not get where you are overnight and you will not get where you want to be overnight, either. Celebrate every accomplishment and let the minor setbacks roll off your back. Remember that you TOOK CONTROL of your life and refuse to give it up. Post-op depression is normal, but don't just suffer in silence. Find someone to talk to who won't judge you for having doubts about the decision you made. Whenever possible, wear clothes that fit . . . REALLY fit, not the overweight baggy version of fit. If you look in the mirror and can't see the difference, you're going to wonder why you did this (until your clothes literally are falling off you). Most of all, remember that we all respond to WLS differently. Don't feel bad when you compare your accomplishments with others'. Follow the guidelines and know that you did this for YOU and that you are doing the right things and that the weight WILL come off. And if you "fall off the wagon" every once in a while, it's not a permanent setback. We're all of us human, after all. I wish you the best in your journey.
   — ctyst

August 31, 2001
One thing that I found useful (and that my surgeon requires) is follow up mental health care. I already had my own therapist, but my surgeon would have recommended one if necessary, and most insurances will cover some kind of mental health care. I knew there might be post-op depression, but there were other issues that came up for me such as body image and ambivalent feelings about the weight loss, relating to other people, etc. that I never expected to appear. Another thing that helped was coming to this site. Whenever I had a question about emotional issues post-op, I would come to the library here and usually someone had already asked and recieved lots of responses. It helped just knowing that it was pretty common and normal to go through this stuff. Journaling my feelings often helped me to deal with them, and sometimes I could work out things that my therapist told me to write about by the time I had my next session. Anyway, I hope these suggestions help. Good luck, Maria
   — Maria H.

August 31, 2001
Hi Pat:Im was wondering the same thing and glad to hear I am not alone in feeling this way. All I can say is that I just think about the future and going shopping and buying regular clothing. I think about my son and how i have hopefully prolonged my life and the quality of the time I can share with him. I also am a diabetic and I try to think I will be pill free soon! I really just try to take one day at a time and watch that scale go down and down...I hope I helped u...my e-mail is [email protected] of u ever need some support dont hesitate to use it i mean it!...all the best Melissa
   — Melissa S.

August 31, 2001
Pat, You are wise in looking for these answers because, for me, the hardest part was the change emotionally and learning how to share my feelings instead of stuffing them. A good counselor can help tremendously. As far as day to day, to combat depression, fear, anger, as well as the urge to splurge, exercise really helps me. Even if it is only a 20 minute walk, it really helps. I also encourage you to find ways to baby and coddle yourself since you won't be able to do that with food anymore. I got into candles, hot baths, good books (and taking the time to READ them:), and FLANNEL (winter IS coming- be prepared!). I was amazed how many things I developed an interest in as I lost weight once the food god was gone. I wish you luck!
   — M B.