Question:
Does Anyone Have Small kids? What did you do after surgery?

I am "tentatively" scheduled for surgery two weeks from today. I am starting to get very nervous because my paperwork hasn't even been submitted to the insurance company yet. I am assured this is "normal" proceedure. Yet was told not to make any concrete plans until we knew for sure. I have two small kids. My daughter is 8 1/2 months and my son will be 5 in a couple weeks. He is pretty independent but I have no clue how long it is going to be before I am able to pick up the baby again. I don't know what I am going to do for care of my children after I get home from the hospital. Has anyone gotten a temporary nanny? Someone suggested a home health aide but I didn't think their services would cover kids. Does anyone know if insurance will cover a home health aide? I have a neighbor that said she will help a couple of days but doesn't want to be committed to doing it more than that. Nights "should" be okay. (Fingers crossed). How long will it be before I can drive? Any suggestions would be appreciated. TIA Lindsey    — Lindsey G. (posted on April 26, 2001)

April 26, 2001
Unless you want a hernia (and a subsequent 6 to 8 week recovery from another surgery), it is important that you don't lift over 10 pounds for 6 to 8 weeks. So, you must have help. You can drive, generally, after you get off pain meds (probably 2 weeks). A nanny or a relative would be the way to go.
   — Cindy H.

April 26, 2001
Hi Lindsey, I had open RNY 1/8/01 and I have small children. At the time, my baby was 8 months and my twins were 4. I came home on a Thursday and was up Friday morning with my normal routine. I was fixing breakfast and getting them ready for preschool. Napping was out of the question for me.And I don't think I ever missed it. I just knew that the care of my children was up to me and so I just did it. Every morning my mother would come and get the baby up and bring him downstairs and then leave. I could hold him with a pillow on my tummy and give him his bottle. Then I would slide him off of my lap and into his exersaucer or walker. Then later I would feed him his cereal and fruit while he was still in his walker. I didn't use his high chair for quite a while. For diaper changes I cleared an area off of my coffee table and was able to drag him out of his walker and place him on the coffee table. I did this while in a sitting position. My twins were a big help as I am sure your 5 year old will be. They would retrieve things for me if I dropped something or they could even get the baby out of his walker and to the coffee table with supervision. I was able to dress them and get their meals ready with no trouble. When my baby was due to go down for a nap, my mom would return and carry him up and put him to bed. My husband would come home and drive the twins to preschool. Although I was able to drive (I started driving about 1 week post op) I was not able to carry the baby and put him in his car seat. Bathing the baby was impossible for me to do when home by myself because I could not bend down while holding him and put him in his bath seat. I was able to bathe the twins because they could get themselves in and out of the tub and I could kneel with no problem. My surgeon instructs us to not lift anything over 15 lbs for 8 weeks. My baby at the time weighed 24 lbs. I felt like a real burden after about 2 weeks of this because I am so used to being independent. But I knew it was necessary. I was only realistically able to continue this routine for about 6 weeks. I have not had any problems with hernias. I still do not carry him indiscriminately. I will lift him and put him to the floor, but I still allow my husband to do the bulk of the carrying. It does seem like it is impossible, but you will find that you are creative and will be able to manage just fine. I agree that you will need lifting assistance for a while. How about practicing with the five year old and see how he does with the lifting and such? Hope this helped. e-mail me at [email protected] if I can help you in anyway.
   — Shelley.

April 26, 2001
Lindsey, I had open RNY on 4/13 and have two small children at home. My son just turned 1 and my daughter is 27 months. The first week home I did have a family member home to help. After that my wife brings the kids downstairs to the living room which we have blocked off so they can not get out. We have moved all of there toys in there so there is not anything for them to get into. As far as diapers I have been very fortunate that I am able to very slowly get onto the floor with the kids and change diapers as necessary. You just move very slowly and take your time. Your 5 year old should also be a big help at this time. The other thing I am greatful for is Nickelodeon the kids will watch it in the morning and I can rest with them. Good luck and I will be praying for you.
   — Barry R.

April 27, 2001
Hi Lindsey. Good luck with getting your insurance to go through. I am 11 days post-op from an open RNY. My daughters are 7, 5, and 15 months. My 7 year-old is in school all day. I work part-time so on T/TH the two younger ones go to daycare/pre-school all day like their normal schedule (husband drops them off before work and picks them up after work, for now). My problem was M/W/F. My 5 year old is no problem to have at home and is a help to me but unfortunately not much help with the baby. The baby is very active and just learning to walk. There is no way so far that I could be caring for her at home right now, even with the 5 year-old's help. I am not supposed to lift anything over 5 lbs for 6-8 wks (baby weighs 22 lbs). I have been diligent about not lifting her or carrying her because, as someone else mentioned, I don't want to get a hernia and have another surgery with another 6-8 wk recovery period (and all of these same care issues all over again!!). I asked a stay-at-home-mom that I know if whe would watch the baby on M/W/F for 6 wks. She already has a 2-year-old at home and agreed since it was part time for a short period of time. It's expensive for us as we are paying her well, but in the long run it's cheaper than my needing to have another surgery. I asked this same question pre-op and got responses from people who did care from their infants themselves after surgery, some did not restrict their lifting and did get hernias. I'm sure it can be done but I certainly don't recommend it!!! You could hire someone to come in and help (like a nanny). I know where I live that runs about $10/hr minimum so it could get really expensive. If your insurance holds things up and your surgery gets delayed until summer that could work out great as maybe you could hire a teenageer to come in and help out part of the day. I don't think a home health aid would do it and wouldn't be covered by insurance. If you have any family who can help out (I didn't), use them. If you know any other SAHM who might want to make some extra money you could do what I did. Good luck. I know this was a huge issue for me and I was so relieved once I found someone to take care of Rachel. The issue was a show-stopper, or should I say surgery-stopper for me; if I hadn't found someone to watch her I would have had to postphone my surgery. Oh, and I was told not to drive until I return to the doctor at 2wks post op for gtube and staple removal. Karen
   — Karen F.