Question:
Did anyone else's spouse have a change of heart after you got a surgery date?

Here I am. I have been working on this for almost a year , I finally get a surgery date and my husband has become the most pessimistic, irritating, person there could be. My 19year old son was more excited and more supportive that he was. Thank goodness I have you all. He thinks now how can I get enough nourishment just eatting so little. Did anyone else's spouse have a change of heart after you got a surgery date? I have given him all the data etc. and he never even seemed bothered by any of it. Maybe he is worried of what I'll be like when I have lost the weight???    — Jill E. (posted on January 4, 2001)

January 4, 2001
Jill, My husband was the same way. The surgeon was standing outside my prep room waiting to take me into surgery and my husband kept asking me if I was sure and telling me it wasn't too late to change my mind. I think they are just scared. After your surgery when he sees how much better you feel and look he'll know it was worth it. Good Luck!
   — Helen C.

January 4, 2001
He's scared. Terrified. But you have assured him that you will be supplementing the 8 missing elements, getting frequent labs and annual bone scans, right? You'll actually be taking better care of yourself than you do now. I've had 2 colds in 6 yrs because of all the vites I take today!
   — vitalady

January 4, 2001
I haven't even gotten a surgery date and my husband is already changing his mind about me doing this. Two months ago he was all for it and pestering me to go see the doctor about it. Now he is saying, well maybe you should try one more time with diet and exercise. He says that he is just scared about it being a permanent change to my body. All in all it is your choice.
   — KerriB

January 4, 2001
My husband didn't have a change of heart after, I had to change his heart prior. He was scared and not as educated as I was on the subject. It is hard to believe that you can subsist on so little. Educate your husband. Once mine came to this site & read people's stories, he was all for it & has not looked back. He loves me & wants me healthy. He also went to all my doc's appt.'s whether he liked it or not. Try to involve him as much as possible and he will become more comfortable. The risk of staying morbidly obese & having major problems is much greater than the risk of having the surgery itself. Maybe you need to re-assure him that you love him & your son & no matter what you end up looking like, you did this for your health & to improve quality of life for all of you. Best of Luck to you.
   — Lisa B.

January 31, 2006
My husband was supportative during the beginning stages. I got my surgery date and he acted as if he didn't care. He even told me to not talk about it. I ended up having surgery in another state so my mother could take care of me after surgery. We seperated for 6 months and ended up in marriage con. He later told me that he was scared to death that I would not make it out of surgery. I felt like he didn't care all that time.
   — brandi113