Question:
Am I bulimic?

   — Just C. (posted on September 9, 2004)

September 9, 2004
I have heard of someone else on this site doing that at a buffet. It really is a topic for your therapist. Any eating that doesn't involve swallowing is suspect. I guess it is better than making yourself vomit though. Take to your therapist though.
   — mrsmyranow

September 9, 2004
It sounds like you already know the answer to your question. I haven't been in your shoes, but it sounds silly to spend money on food just to spit it out or throw it up.It sounds like you need some mayor help. My family has been worried about me, but I eat all the time and keep it down. I cant stand to throw up. You need to get help. I will be praying for you.
   — LeeAnn W.

September 9, 2004
I am Bulimic (in recovery sort of) and to answer your question.... Yes you are. I wish I could tell you how to stop, but if I knew that I would be cured. I do not throw up anymore but occasionally spit food out, just to have the taste- maybe once a week. I am glad you are seeing a therapist and telling them what you are doing. Remember it is just a waste of money. PLUS you do absorb calories in your mouth- trust me, I'm a nurse! Geraldine 10/27/03 304/150/150
   — Pupcake !.

September 9, 2004
Hi, like the others have said, it sounds like you already know the answer... Yes, it sounds like you're bulimic. I worry about the vomiting because I worry that you will hurt your pouch, and esophagus, and teeth, although we don't really have lots of stomach acid coming back up anymore. If you could "just stop doing it," you probably wouldn't have needed the surgery in the first place! I'm sure if I could have "just stopped eating cookies, candy, ice cream, 2nd helpings, etc." I could have lost weight and not needed surgery. I am glad that you're taking your vites and getting your fluids in. You're doing better than I am... I constantly forget my vites... I know, Bad Moysa! Anyway, when I go on those rampages when I think I have to eat, even though I'm not hungry, it's usually because I'm anxious or depressed. What I try to do is pick up an inspirational magazine, or knit or crochet to keep my hands busy, or do a crossword puzzle, or come in and get on the computer... These are some things that help me. Sure, sometimes I STILL go ahead and get a few bites of something I'm craving. Usually, though, it makes me feel so bad that my stomach hurts, and if I TRY to throw up, I can't, then my stomach hurts worse! Anyway, I hope you're able to figure out what triggers these episodes and figure out a way around them! Good luck, Hon! Moysa B, RNY 08/19/03, 275/143/140
   — Moysa B.

September 10, 2004
I'm not an expert, but I did see myself in some of what you said. I'm not bulimic though, I'm a raging carb addict. Sometimes when my blood sugar is "swinging" I feel this driving compulsion to eat. What struck me was the list of foods that you're chewing and spitting. They were ALL carbs. Even the broccoli, even though it's a "good" carb. Is it possible that the driving force behind your actions is that feeling of needing a high carb food? Pre-op, the compulsion would feel overwhelming and I'd eat a whole box of cereal or loaf of white bread. Post-op, I can control it much more, but I still get the carb urges. I even have to limit my whole grains and fruits as it can cause that feeling. Sometimes, when I've eaten my protein dinner, and my non-starchy veggies, I still have the urge to eat, even though I'm full. It's not a "hunger", it feels like a compulsion for something carby. Just a thought. I know some people are much more sensitive than others, and you may be the super-sensitive kind. If that does turn out to be the issue, you may need to limit whole grains (I try and minimize them, or eat them later in the day) and limit the fruit to low glycemic index fruits like berries. Prunes, for example, are SUPER high in sugar, and certainly would have satisfied that carb need, while creating a bigger need later when your blood sugar dipped again. If you're interested in the affect of blood sugar swings on your body, the South Beach Diet book has a good chapter in the beginning. Good luck.. hope you find your answer!
   — mom2jtx3

September 10, 2004
I'm sorry, sweetie, that you are going thru this. But there are several good things to speak about here. First, you are "sort of at goal with a 200 pound weight loss". Very, very good. Big pat on the back and be proud of yourself. Alot of hard work there in 16 months. Next, you are talking to a therapist, so you recognize you need help and you are working on trying to figure out why you do what you do, which is the 2nd step towards resolving (the first is the recognition that you have a problem). The third is that you keep bad foods out of the house. Broccoli, plums and prunes are better than chocolate, cookies and potato chips. And you are also doing well with water and vitamins. Chewing and spitting is also better than vomiting. My big concern for you is eating until you vomit. That will do irreparable harm to your pouch eventually and possibly screw up your electrolytes and good health you have worked to achieve. My question/comment: can you use the same dedication (and you used the word, religiously) in being faithful to water and vitamins and try to psyche yourself to do the same with not overeating/vomiting? Perhaps set small goals for yourself. Like, today, for this meal only, I will not overeat or vomit. Check. Then, work towards, OK, today I will not overeat or vomit for any meal. And if you succeed reward yourself (not with food) but perhaps a bubble bath or a new sweater or an hour with a good book with no interruptions. Whatever works.
   — Cindy R.

September 10, 2004
I find your situation most interesting and I hope my thoughts can help you. You answered most of your own questions and you know you are having major problems in your life. Since you have lost so much weight in such a short time indicates you know what you are doing. Could it be that since you are "sort of at goal" that you are afraid that with the rest of the problems in your life that you might regain your weight as you have in the past by turning to food for comfort? I can almost see myself in that senario. Problems=food=weight gain. You need to have some faith in yourself and your surgery. My suggestion would be to make a plan. It could go like this, Today I am going to have this for breakfast (list every item you should eat for a healthy meal) and this for lunch (every item) and this for dinner(every item down to the liquid). Figure your protein, etc. so that you get everything in. I am going to wash clothes and mop today. List everything that you plan to do in that one day. Have your plan for the next day done before you go to bed. When you get up in the morning stick to your plan. If you say on your list that you are going to eat X amount for breakfast eat every bite of what is on that list. Do other tasks on your list and when it is time for lunch eat everything that is on that list. Keep going throughout the day. If it isn't on the list you can't eat it. If it's on the list you have to eat it because that is what you need to be healthy and not gain your weight back. Leave about 10 minutes during your day to hate your previous situation that you just left and that is all you get and the rest of the day you need to look ahead at what you can do to make your life better. Remember if it isn't on the list you can't eat it***if it is on the list you have to eat it. I know it's not easy, but it's the best I can do. I'm on Wellbuterin too! Oh Yeh, go and read Pouch Rules for Dummies, it has some interesting facts in it. E-mail me and let me know how you are doing. Terry Buhre [email protected] I live in Montana
   — buhret