Question:
Feeling the need to change my life

I had my surgery about 7 months ago and I am down about 95lbs. I'm not losing as quickly as others but it is coming off. I am very happy with my improved health and ability to be more active. The problem is that I have been feeling very restless lately. It started with cutting my hair very short, something I swore I would never do, but i felt like I needed a change...now I am thinking that I am not happy at my job and that I want another one... I have always loved my job until now. I guess my question is, has anyone else gone through these feelings of needing a huge change in life since you had the surgery? Has any else felt so restless you can't stand still? Thanks a bunch    — Tami S. (posted on February 24, 2004)

February 24, 2004
You're not alone. Like any addict of any ilk, I can only tell you about what has happened in my life. For years, all of my life's limitations were ascribed to my obesity. As my weight problem grew worse, and I felt myself increasingly isolated, I knew that once the weight was gone I would be able to embrace all those aspects of life that I felt had slipped by the morbidly obese guy I had become. So, as the weight dropped, I did feel energized and sometimes a little frustrated at the slow rate of change in my life. I tackled home improvement projects that I had neglected, got a job (I had been a Mr. Mom for about 4 years) and became very involved in our hospital's support group programs. But, still, I do sometimes have a sense that there should be a greater change-- a more dramatic life change to rival my loss of 280 pounds. But, then I step back and realize that I may just be looking for something else to occupy my mind to help distact me from the food demons that still seem to tug at my psyche. You do have to be careful--- without food satisfying the need for pleasure, comfort and companionship, there are a host of dangerous alternatives that can be pursued. Someone likened the emotional changes brought about when we are no longer able to revel in the thrill of trying new foods and decadent desserts to the "first kiss syndrome"-- that intense adrenaline rush brought about by physically experiencing the unknown. Of course, the greatest unknown for me is what lies deep in the recesses of my mind, the area where I have done the bulk of my exploring since losing food. It might not always be the most thrilling place to be, but attempting some measure of self-discovery to learn how to avoid returning to my food addictions does seem to keep me occupied and away from the drive-thru windows.
   — SteveColarossi

February 24, 2004
You know, I have been too. It also seems like I am such a goal oriented person now. I'm only 6 months out with 85 pounds gone but I have a great need for change. So much so that I am currently working my butt off to pay down my credit cards, save up a couple thousand, and move across the country to Las Vegas...so no you're not crazy...unless I am!!!! Good luck :)
   — Morna B.

February 24, 2004
I have been going through the same thing! My husband even says he loves me, but kinda misses the "old" me. I have ants in my pants, but everyone that makes comments to me about changing I just remind them of how I use to be and how they begged me to become this person. My whole life has changed and I already forgot who the "old" me was. I get really confused sometimes and wonder who the heck I am now, I can't even begin to explain how I feel or what I have been through to those who have never been in my shoes. Have fun with yourself and I think change is good if thats what you want :o)
   — Sandy M.

February 24, 2004
First, congrats on you weight loss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are doing great!!! I went through a period where I felt like I needed a change in my life. And it makes sense. Our lives have changed---we have changed!!! What worked for us before isn't going to keep working for us as we change. My advice to you is enjoy your new haircut, if you want to change your job DO IT. You have reclaimed your life by having WLS, and your life should be the way you want it to be. You want the best for yourself and you deserve it. Make yourself happy in all aspects of your life and you won't regret it! Good Luck!! Kelly open RNY 11/20/2002 315/138 and loving every minute of it!!!!!!!!!
   — klinzey

February 24, 2004
I think it's very common to want change other aspects of your life. Just by losing a huge amount of weight, your life has already changed drastically. I've been through the hair cut thing, the plastic surgery thing, the dating thing, the looking for another job thing, etc. Some panned out and some didn't. I guess before I lost the weight I wouldn't have even dared to TRY these things. Now I'm like a kid in a candy store. It's like a whole new world has opened up for me. A world that I never knew existed. I think that's probably what your experiencing. It's been over 2 years since my surgery, but I'm still exploring. There's nothing wrong with that. But I've also stopped and thought about some life altering decisions (job) and put them on hold for the time being.
   — Patty H.

February 24, 2004
I've been going through the same thing especially with the hair! I've changed my style of clothing --no more large cut blazers, more color, more fitted. I'm very antsey most of the time because I have so much more energy. Change can be very scarey...weight loss is even scarier for me. The weight was my protective layer for a long time. I see a counseler every 3 weeks or so and that has really helped...good luck to you!
   — debmi