Question:
Has anyone lost 100lbs and still not feel thin or different?

I just saw my surgeon last week. And he set my goal weight at 180lbs. While I have a very large bone structure... I always thought my goal weight would be about 160. He indicated once i go below 180 I would look very thin. That to me is hard to fathome because I see my big hips and thighs and still feel fat. Is there anyone out there who is 5'9" with a large bone structure who stopped between 160 and 180? I am still having a hard time seeing myself as being smaller. Just today a woman in my complex told me I should lose too much more ("Not everyone was meant to be small"). I am still wearing a size 16W pant and 14W skirt but I wear between 14-16 regular shirt. I would like to get to a 7/8. Any suggestions to help me with my body image would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.. Keisha - Open RNY - 3/12/03 - 316/219/160?    — keishax (posted on October 13, 2003)

October 13, 2003
Congratulations on your success so far. I have lost 130 and am totally ecstatic. I had wanted to do 5 more lbs and then have plastic surgery, which is scheduled for late December. At 6' and 195 now and my wife is adamant about my not losing any more. I know when the belly goes and the surrounding "flanks" go, I will even be happier. I now wear a size that I can live with for the rest of my life (38 or 40 pants but 38 jeans from the GAP no less....), 44 suit and coat and 16 shirt. Who could ask for more? I still see myself as fat. But..... this past weekend, I looked in the mirror and it is, after one year, beginning to change. It will happen to you too, for sure. Keep up the great work.
   — Steve B.

October 13, 2003
Keisha, I have lost 134lbs since in 11 months. I too am having difficulty seeing the changes. It's hard to explain to others how you "can't" see the weight loss and they can. You have lost the weight so quickly your mind just hasn't caught up with your body yet. I did the same thing for a while. I got to a size 16 and I told myslef if I didn't lose any more weight I was happy to be in a size 16 (I started in a size 28). Now I am in a size 8 and I want to keep going smaller. I don't know why, I guess just because it's never happened before. Lots of people are telling me NOT to lose any more weight that I need to stop now but I am still trying to lose more and I am every week I lose more and more. I may be going to far now, I may be crossing over to the anorexic way of thinking and it's pretty scary. My brain needs to catch up to my body and see the difference now before it's too late, if it doesn't I could be in serious trouble. I've already notified my doctor, I have a counselor and a nutritionist to try and keep me from going to far down that road. Stop and look at yourself in a mirror and be happy with what you have accomplished so far, but if you can't then reach out to someone who can help you because we wanted to be thin and healthy not thin and dead. Rebecca
   — Rebecca R.

October 13, 2003
Keisha, 180 at 5'9" sounds fine to me. I'm only 5'6" weigh in at 188 and am wearing a size 10 pants. I think it all depends on how you are built. I'm very top heavy, still wearing a DD bra after a 90 pound loss. I think it's normal for us to not see the loss. I look in the mirror and still see fat, not as fat as I was when I started mind you, but I don't feel like a size 10. I'm 7 months post and hoping to drop another 30 pounds before all is said and done. My original goal was 170 or a size 10, now my goal is 150-160 period, regardless of size. I think we all just want to feel "normal" unfortunately, it takes a lot of time to not see ourselves at fat anymore. Good luck.
   — StephN1966

October 13, 2003
This is totally weird. I am 5'5" and now weigh 197 and wear a very comfortable size 14 and a tight size 12. My own mother tells me I look fine and don't need to lose anymore. When I tell them how much I still weigh they can't believe it. However... I can believe it. I like wearing the smaller sizes but I still feel somewhat fat and like the previous posters, I think it just takes a while for our brains to catch up with our new bodies. To the poster who is migrating towards anorexia: I've been there! Please be very very careful or you will sabotoge your success. We want to stay in the losing mode because that has been our mission for so long. Now that you are at your goal, you have to switch to maintenance mode and that has been my danger zone all my life. It's much easier to lose, very difficult to maintain. There is help out there to help you switch gears. I applaud you for your efforts in getting help for this now. Trust me, as one who has been anorexic, it CONTROLS you and makes you very sick, as much or more than being fat ever did.
   — Happy I.

October 13, 2003
What standards is your surgeon using? Even if you look on this site, the ideal weight for a 5'9" person is not 180 - I believe in the 150-160 range. I am 5'9" as well, and my surgeon's goal weight is 146. I am not going by that, however, because I would look sick at that weight, and I'm not going to kill myself trying to live up to that ideal. My own personal goal weight is 175. I too have a large bone structure - broad shoulders, hips, big ankles, etc. - and think that I will look very slim at 175. It's funny because people are starting to ask me now how much more I plan to lose. I started at 326, had the open RNY in March, and am down to 230. People are shocked that I still weigh that much. I don't really see the difference - only if I catch a glimpse of myself in, say, a shopping store window or something. I still am in size 18 or xl tops, and size 20 pants, so you're way ahead of me. I just wanted to get down to a size 14 pant. Good job and Good luck!
   — vittycat

October 13, 2003
I am 5'9 and a medium build frame and the goal the surgeon and I set is 200 lbs. I have lost 179 lbs in 8 months and have 63 to go. He did comment that I could possibly get into the 180's but it would take a lot of hard work. I know I will be comfortable at 200. If I hit the 180's fine but supposedly I should be 156 and there is no way I am going there. I'd need plastic surgery on every inch of my body to get to a 7/8 and truthfully I am not up for that much surgery. I'll get the minimum I need done, but that's it. At 263 I am wearing 20's in pants with any kind of give and 22's in like heavy no-give jeans. Of course those are 22's from 8 years ago. I'd most likely fit in 20 jeans purchased today as the sizes have definitley changed in that time. I'm probably not far away from 18 dress pants. 12/14's in pants and 10/12's in tops is pretty much where I am headed. Lower than that would be something I have never known. Give your brain time to catch up with reality before you make any final decisions. Be proud of the new you. Ultimately you have the final say where you stop. Just agree to decide as you go and not force yourself to 160 if it truly is too thin. I know for me it is.
   — zoedogcbr

October 13, 2003
Hi Keisha. Congrats on your loss. I am 7 months out today and am down 120#. Highest weight at 306, now 186. I am hearing daily how thin I look, but most times still don't see it. For me, my personal goal is a size 12 or around 175, whichever comes first. To help with the body image, try this. There is a website called www.myvirtualmodel.com You can create a model using your specifics and change the weight around. Print your top weight out and your current weight and look at the difference. It might not 100% sink in, but it will give you that mental image that you don't otherwise see. I hope this helps! Good luck and keep up the good work.
   — Jaime H.

October 13, 2003
I see that you are at 219 now. You may feel very different about 160 or even 180 once you are there. I was hell bent on getting to the 140's when I was still 200 but now that I am closer to 160 I am less frantic about it. I am definitely one of those who has a hard time seeing my size 10 body as it is now and I would love to see an 8 but the reality is that I am only 9 months post op and will probably see that over the next year even I just lose a pound a month. I do feel different even if I can't see it yet. I know that I am treated differently and I feel lighter. It is just my screwy head when I look in the mirror that is the battle now. In general our bodies know when to stop losing and you will keep losing until that point. When people tell me I look too thin I just say I dress well for my size and laugh it off.
   — Carol S.

October 13, 2003
I am only 5'7" but when I first started trying to lose weight....years ago, my primary said I would never get down below 180...and he didn't know where I 'put' all of my weight. Then, when I decided to have the rny, he said that 100 pounds, which would put me at 174, would be a good goal for me....and I agreed....then. I also think that most doctors don't want to get our hopes up....and rightly so. Anyway, at six months I was down 96 pounds (178) and pinned my primary down as to how much more he thought I would lose based on what he's seen, and how much I'd lost so far. Well, to my amazement, he said that I would probably see 130 before it was all over! As far as mentally, I still feel fat. I do have to admit though, that I feel like I'm a 'smaller fat'....if there is such a thing. I now wear a size 8 and have squeezed into a 6 occasionally, but I still see myself as fat, as crazy as that may seem...especially when I'm naked! I know they say it takes time for the brain to catch up, with the body....but, in the mean time, I'd still like to lose another 20-25 pounds! I also try to keep in mind that some people experience a 'bounce back' weight gain of 10, or so, pounds....which would then put me around my ideal weight. Good luck to you! RNY-1/31/03-274/155/130ish?
   — eaamc

October 14, 2003
I've lost 117 lbs since 12/23/02. I am pleased with my progress but most of time I really dont notice the weight loss. I can move around much better, I can sit in all chairs with out feeling awkward but when I shop I still look and try on the larger sizes etc. I struggle with feeling like I am the largest woman around, its very hard sometimes to deal with the lost since I have been very obese since age 2. I am 5'10" and my surgeon told me to weight 149 lbs , I would be happy at even 200---I have a long way to go. I exercize alot and wear a 22 bottom 18/20 top, started out a tight size 32. I had many postops tell me you shouldnt give up until you reached your goal. I understand this I shouldnt settle for 200 I need to get down to what chart says. I'm trying to keep my goal -- to get healthy. Good luck to you!
   — debmi

October 15, 2003
Hello fellow tall girl. :) I am also 5'9" and I was 267 pre op. I had my surgery 19 months ago. My surgeon set my goal weight around 170. I was excited at the thought of getting that low, but now, I want to lose more! I am staying around 168 and my PCP and surgeon are very happy with this, but I see more weight that could come off! I'd love to weigh around 155 or so, but my body is refusing to lose anymore, so I might be stuck at this weight. I wear a size 10, but would love to be an 8. I have a large frame with dense bones and pretty solid muscles, so I should probably just learn to be happy where I am :) I eat whatever I want - too much junk and carbs and sugar many times - and if I didn't I might lose more. Anyway, that's my story. I think us tall chicks will be on the heavier side because of the longer, denser bones :) Hugs! michelle in fl.
   — michelle T.

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