Question:
Generally how far apart can a husband and wife safely have surgery?

Hubby and I were to have surgery together on the same day. Our surgeon has tried to talk us out of it, and now with talking it over we agree. My questions now is generally baring any complications, how far apart should we plan our surgeries? Will 2-3 weeks be enought for the first to recover to drive and take care of a school aged child?    — Pookie B. (posted on April 20, 2003)


April 20, 2003
I had surgery 8 1/2 weeks ago. My husband took 3 weeks off to take care of me. I went back to work after the 3 weeks, but I was lucky that my sister and I work together and she drove me in the first week. I suppose I could have been up to driving after 3 weeks, but took advantage of the help. If you can just do the chore type things, w/o house cleaning and working outside the house, I mean the cooking and driving stuff, and you CAN wait, I would say you could do it a 3 to 4 weeks. Everything you do for yourself is tiring in the beginning, and you mayneed help with carrying the groceries in the house, etc.. I wouldn't think that either one of you would want to compromise your recovery for the sake of a week extra of waiting for the other's surgery. Best of luck!!!
   — Fixnmyself

April 20, 2003
It depends on the procedure. If it's open, you'll need more time to recover than if you have a lap. I was back to work in a week and a half, and driving also. It just depends on how well you recover! Now are you drawing straws on who gets to go first??? ;)
   — Diana L.

April 20, 2003
In 6 weeks I went back to work. In 10 weeks I felt as good as I did before surgery. Rember men are big babies :-)
   — Robert L.

April 20, 2003
Ahh another WLS couple like me and Jen. Its better if they are fairly close together. I would say a few weeks to a month. If whoever went first is doing good then #2 gets done. Me and jen were 6 months apart, thats too long. The still heavy person will be unhappy seeing the other one loose and its stressful watching someone else pig out and want to take you restaurants jusat a week out. Congrats its wonderful loosing the weight. Get LAP for aster recovery, and know in advance Men tend to loose fast and get to goal. That still bugs jen today.:)
   — bob-haller

April 21, 2003
With us, it will be about 9 1/2 months apart (mine was 7/17/02, Geri's will be 5/6/03). Geri was on the fence about this until she saw how well that I did combined with her increasing health problems. She has concerns about her pain management (history of fibromyalgia and she has degenerative disease of the disks in her neck and back), but is pressing forward...JR
   — John Rushton

April 21, 2003
John you and me are UNIQUE! We both went first having surgery. My surgeon says this almost never happens. Women always go first and men follow along later reluctantly.
   — bob-haller

April 21, 2003
I had surgery on 10/29/02 and my husband had his on 4/9/03. I am fully recovered so I am able to take over lifting and some of the heavier chores he usually does. (My laundry baskets frequently weigh over 10lbs!) We have young adult children, so they aren't around much to help out. I feel that I have had enough time to make all the adjustments and now help my husband over the rough spots. Plus, I got a big head start on loosing weight! It really wasn't a problem going to restaurants before he had surgery - we usually split an entree, and he would eat the things I couldn't, plus he would get a bowl of soup or something to help fill him up. It gave us opportunities to talk about what we might do in the same situation after his surgery! I recovered pretty quickly, but I don't think in 2-3 weeks I could have taken care of myself, school age kids and him. My husband has done very well after surgery, but he has had a couple of bad days. I would wait at least until the first person no longer has the lifting restriction. We were both lightweights, so it has not been a problem for him to watch me loose weight. (I'm really slowing down!) It's probably been harder for me since he has lost 20lbs since surgery, and I have lost about 1 lb.! Good luck to both!
   — koogy

April 21, 2003
Who will go first...that is the question. Hubby has some very critical medical issues that the surgery would immediately get him in the right direction (he needs a hip replacement really bad). However, if I go first I will be on disability from work and won't have to miss an extra week for his surgery (just get him scheduled while I would be still out on STD). Men loose faster than women, so me going first would give me a head start :o)... <P> We are having it LAP, done in Pittsburgh. We have a very helpful 7 year old. We wanted to have it done at the same time, but that would be too much on the poor kid. We wnat our dates close enough that we can still do our follow up apts together, just one gets scheduled a little late and the other a little early, since we live 4 hrs away.
   — Pookie B.

April 21, 2003
Personally I would be over cautious and wait three to four months. What if one of you had major problems? Geese, it would be very difficult then. What is a few months wait anyway just to be safe? ;)
   — Danmark

April 21, 2003
I had my surgery on 1-23-02 and my husband had his on 5-21-02. We wanted to be closer together, but the surgeon insisted on 4 months between 2 family members. We both did well with the four months. And yes, Terry has lost more than I have, 220 pounds to my 195 pounds! Good luck!
   — Frances B.

April 21, 2003
There is a couple who post on one of the Yahoo boards I belong to. The husband had his surgery about 3 weeks ago. The wife just had hers last week and she suffered a punctured bowel and has peritonitis. She's in critical condition and on life support. And the newly post-op hubby is doing his best to attend to her in the ICU and also take care of his health and his needs for sufficient fluids and nutrition. It's a very sad and tragic situation. So, in view of this, I'd say any spouse should wait until the first spouse comes through the surgery without major complications before scheduling the second surgery.
   — Michele C.

April 21, 2003
I had my first (another man first !!!!) 2/12/02 and my wife 4/9/02. We both had open and the two months were fine for us. At first we wanted them closer, but our doctor insisted on the two months-which turned out for the best. And yes I've lost more (but then I had more to loose in the first place)me 185 pounds and Barb 105 !!!! Good Luck to you both and the best of everything,especially a smooth surgey and speedy recovery !!!!
   — gary B.

April 21, 2003
Hello Pookie! Yeah, my husband and I had our surgeries on the same day and things were great! HOWEVER, our situation was quite different than yours. We have no children and have had the support of my husband's family for over a month. Our decision to have surgery the same day was mainly due to personal issues and going through it all together, and our surgeon supported that knowing that we had a great support network to help us after surgery. So, my husband's surgery was at 1:00pm, and mine was scheduled for 4:30pm.
   — [Deactivated Member]




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