Question:
How do prepare my husband for the changes that will take place in our lives?

The thing we do best together is eat. How do I avoid problems when I can no longer participate?    — Gretchen P. (posted on February 22, 2003)

February 21, 2003
Hopefully you will find you have more in common than just eating!! You will be more active, so just drag him along with you when you walk, bike, etc. It is much more fun than just sitting at a table, and he is sure to reap the physical benefit as well. Develop common interests and go places and do things. You will have so much more fun together, you will not even miss just eating! Good luck.
   — SarahC

February 21, 2003
Gretchen,I am about 10 weeks post op. Me and my husband also went out to eat for our entertainment. The first 6 wks or so I couldnt go out..but since then I go out to eat and I cant eat as much,but as slow as we have to eat..me and him get done at the same time!!We now go do other things like going to the show or visiting friends and relatives instead of just going to eat..He is finally realizing I can watch him eat a steak and it doesnt bother me that I cant.
   — NANCY P.

February 22, 2003
Gretchen~ I can relate to this question so much! My husband and I love food!! We love to go out to eat, cook together, try new recipes ~ even plan our weekend trips around which restaurants we want to be sure and hit while we're in particular towns. I'm 6 weeks post-op and have just now begun to want to go out to eat at restaurants. I have found that there is always at least one item on the menu I can order and enjoy! He has been terrific in that he has not expected me to cook the elaborate meals we had grown accustomed to nor has he even asked if we can stop by our favorite restaurants on the way home from work or while out running around. I have surprised him a couple of times by stopping by to grab him one of his favorite selections at a restaurant, just to show him I do not expect him to give up his favorite things during these first few months. One thing I have found is that since I am very seldom hungry, I have not felt deprived of any of these favorite menu selections. I know that one day soon, I'll be able to enjoy these favorite things again, just never in the quantity or frequency that we had grown accustomed to. Hubby has even lost about 10 pounds these past 6 weeks and is looking very good, so this has benefited him as well! I think you'll find, as I did, that this new adventure will be wonderful for both of you ~ If he misses something, surprise him with it next time you can! He'll love you for it!
   — chelle3081

February 22, 2003
My husband loves to eat and cook. Everyone jokes because he'll read a cook book while I watch football. He loves the Food Network on cable. It is on all of the time at our house. He is fortunate to be of a muscular frame and has a good metabolism. I am not as fortunate and gained 80lbs in 5 years of our relationship. 40 of those pounds the first year of mairrage. YIKES! It was hard on him at first because he loves to feed people and I can't eat large portions of his cooking anymore which is insulting to him. I just have to reassure him I love his food and I am enjoying it to the fullest. Even though I can only eat a few bites it's as if I had a feast. Sometimes he looks at my plate and says "Come on! You can eat more than that" I have to keep explaining how small my pouch is. He is starting to get it. I still enjoy food and all the fine resturaunts. Your husband will be happy to eat your left overs!
   — Michelle H.

February 22, 2003
Gretchen, I know it may sound funny but the best thing you do together is love each other! Eating has just been a way to celabrate that. Finding something new is the key. It's hard to watch others eat but if we didn't have WLS we wouldn't be here for the rest of it or at least like being here as much. Someone once said that nothing tastes as good as being thin feels. Well I just started this journey (2 weeks post-op) and I'm holding on to that idea real tight. It's not that I don't understand your thought, it's that the food can no longer be our best friends. It's really hard...I just keep asking myself...what was the option? Keep up the good thoughts and get creative-you are so lucky to have someone who loves you. Good luck to you!!
   — MaryLisa D.