Question:
I cannot stop comparing myself to others!!!
I'm 6 months post-op and went from 263lbs. to 180 lbs. My problem is other people that have started out at 260 ish and has had the surgery around the same time I have had lost more weight. I'm exercising 4 days a week, drinking my water and eating right. It seems like there are more of these people now at the 150 and below range. How can I get over this hump and stop comparing myself because I do get easily discouraged. — Adele S. (posted on December 10, 2002)
December 10, 2002
hi there adelle, congrats on your weight loss! you are doing great! :) im
sure youve heard it several times before, but try not to compare yourself
to others as we are all so different. ive met people that have lost less
than me and some that have lost more. everyones body is different.
everything plays a part, genentics, hormones, start weight etc. when you
feel yourself getting bummed out just try to focus on the loss of weight
youve already had and smile! :) it will come off in its own time. i wish
you the best of luck hang in there and your doing great! (hugs)
— carrie M.
December 10, 2002
First, congratulations on a job well done so far. You are doing everything
you need to do. Secondly, give yourself some slack...your body may be
different from others and need a little longer to get to where it will most
certainly get to. You don't say how tall you are, but remember, it is
percentage of body fat that is the true measure, not the number on the
scale. I read your profile and you mention low self esteem...perhaps this
competitive issue is just more of your internal dialogue that says "I
still don't measure up". If that is the case, KNOCK IT OFF! Remember
that you (with the help of your genetics and childhood environment) created
those internal dialogues and now that you are an adult and aware of them,
you can alter them. Repeat the following whenever the anxiety that you are
not doing as well as others, or that others are doing better than you
floats to the top of your brain: "I am doing just fine. Comparing
myself to others is a trap that I refuse to fall into. I am going to meet
my goal and have the patience to be gentle with myself as I get
there." Good Luck to you, Sweetie. I know EXACTLY how you feel!
— merri B.
December 10, 2002
You have lost over *80* pounds in 6 months. When in your life have you
been able to do this? Enjoy! I don't see a problem here.
— Marti R.
December 10, 2002
I lost 76 lbs. in 6 months. I was lovin' every minute of it too. Yeah, I
saw others on here that had a better weight loss than I did in the same
period of time, but I was thrilled to have lost that much! I reached goal
within a year. Be prepared, it will slow down a lot more, so just expect
it so you won't be so dissapointed when it happens. You can use my weight
loss chart on my profile page. It will probably lift your spirits when you
are feeling down.
— Cheri M.
December 10, 2002
hi. first of all congrats on the loss. i know just how you feel, its hard
not to compare your weight loss to others, especially when you see people
that started where you did. i was not a light weight by any means and i am
3 months post op next week and i have lost 54 lbs. not great in my book,
but ill take it. im on the low end of losing i think. keep your chin up
and good luck
— Monica T.
December 11, 2002
I hit my 6 month anniversary yesterday, so I was interested in your post.
We *all* do comparisons: the first thing I did was figure out your total
weight loss and compare it to mine. You win!
I have the same discouragement when I compare myself with other people who
lose faster, but I'm still quite happy with my loss. Unfortunately, I've
been on a plateau for the last 3 weeks and *that's* really discouraging:
I'm terrified the loss might stop here. I sure hope that's not the case!
I try to tell myself that I need to learn some patience now, because when
our loss does stop, wherever that might be, then we have to learn to STILL
do all the right things (eating, exercising, etc.) and not get that reward
of the scale going down. If we can't be patient now, how will we ever be
patient then?
— Celia A.
December 11, 2002
I am right there with you...I compare myself all the time to some of my
good friends (or at least people I feel like I know) on this board and find
that I often fall "short". At almost nine months out I have lost
(honestly) 76lbs and am hanging out in the 170 range. Arragh! I wish I
was 150lbs and a size 8! BUT I HAVE HOPE. I am in a 12, which is the
smallest I have been in over a decade. Plus, I really haven't done much to
help my weight loss (ie, diet, water and exercise) until recently, and I've
noticed a remarkable difference since embarking on these changes. Finally,
in all my research, I've found that most of the people who were
"lightweights" like me do manage to lose 100lbs in year one. So
I figure I should make it by April. You know, the WLS initially feels like
a magic wand, but reality is that it isn't...but I KNOW I've got the power
to do it now. Good luck!
— rebeccamayhew
December 11, 2002
If you spend time here on the boards, its hard not to notice the weight
losses of others when people list their starting weights, and their losses
and how far out they are as part of their posts, and do the inevitable
comparisons. I marvel at those who started around my weight or higher and
in less time than me got to goal. I also marvel at those that were much
larger than I and are now size 4 or 6! Geez, in my dreams...and I get a
little envious. Then I slap myself into reality and think about all I have
to be thankful for. I think about where I was 10 months ago, and how much
happier and healthier I am today. I also am very thankful for this
community to have as a resource and for all the friends I have met through
this surgery. So, when I read of others who have surpassed me, I allow
myself a second or two to feel envious, then I move on...with a smile. Try
it. Otherwise you will drive yourself nuts, never a good thing!
— Cindy R.
December 11, 2002
I don't think you CAN stop. You try, but it's there. In my support group,
(same doc, same procedure, same after care plan), I was one of the slower
ones, compared to them. I didn't hit my 100 lost til 8 months. 262# to
start, also. I finished at 13-14 months, 150# lost. So, you can compare
to me, if you must. I lost it and have maintained that loss now for many
years. Many who lost 120# by 6 months have not maintained as well, some
have. There's no rule about it. The speed of loss doesn't guarantee your
long term success one way or another. Andyou live with THAT a lot longer
than the first year or so.
— vitalady
December 12, 2002
I'm a slow loser, too. (See my profile). Just remember, slow but steady,
DOES finish the race also!!!!
— Kathy J.
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