Question:
Is Anyone Else Angry?
I support Al Roker and his decision to make public his surgery and it's results. What I find frustrating is how he chose to reveal his "little whit lie" about having his gall bladder removed. I had the surgery in June of '01 and the only person to know is my wife. We have not told my family, her family, any of our friends. When they see the scar, or ask about why I missed 2 weeks of work, I simply have told them that I had my gall bladder removed...which is the truth, just not the whole truth. When asked about my weight loss, I have replied that it was hard work and that I learned to eat right and hired a nutritionist that put me on a specific eating plan....all true, just choosing to leave out the surgery part. Since Dateline, People Magazine, and all the other numerous media coverings of Al Roker....I have already been asked 4 times by coworkers, and twice by family if I had WLS. I have lied and said no. It was my decision and my wife and I chose to keep it between us. I feel frustrated that he has taken his personal decisions and accomplishments and made them so public....almost like we are circus freaks. I had this surgery to avoid the feeling I am now having again! Anyone else feel similiar to me at all? — Patrick S. (posted on November 13, 2002)
November 13, 2002
I do understand you're feelings, I'm sure it must be frustrating. But I'm
really glad he went public because none of my friends, coworkers, church
people, even my docs really knew anything about bypass surgery. So everyone
was against it. Then my surgery went bad, went into a coma, almost died,
and so everyone was really against me now. Since more people are coming out
about it, some of my friends have now changed their minds about the
surgery, and realize my situation was rare and the surgeons fault only.
Just think, if it keeps coming out, people won't need to feel they must
hide it. People will soon support us, hopefully! Good luck to you!
— Karla K.
November 13, 2002
I read on Al Roker's website that a tabloid had paid a hospital worker to
give out his surgery information. So really he didn't tell anyone. If you
read his journal, he was really upset that it's all come out. He wanted to
remain private. He says he doesn't understand why so many people have a
keen interest in him. He's been exploited and that's what makes me angry.
He decided now to go ahead and "come out" because it is already
"out" what he had done. I myself don't tell everyone. I have told
several close friends and my family. I like being normal, if there is such
a thing. To me, the surgery has just made me normal. I can now leave food
on my plate, walk away from sweets, and have control over food. It's
great!
— mbradley35
November 13, 2002
I know how you feel, Patrick. I chose to keep my WLS to myself and now
everyone's asking me if I had it. Irrational as it may be, I wish the media
would just shut up about it. I think if people really want to have it done,
they'll find out about it without it being on the cover of 20 different
magazines and on every news show out there. Save me the "get the word
out, save people's lives" stuff. Believe me, fat people know it exists
already! Go ahead and flame me.
— Angie M.
November 13, 2002
Wow, what a sad question....I feel for you, and am SO sorry you are feeling
this way. My only suggestion is this....take to heart what his surgeon
(and all of us) say about this being the hard road out. We were cursed
with something -- bad metabolism, environment, addiction, genetics,
whatever -- and have had the courage to stand up and decide to be healthy.
You are a brave person. This is one of (if not the) hardest decision any
of us have had to make, but we have been able to do it. I'm not saying you
need to share your business with everyone you meet. I'm saying that I hope
you're proud of what you've done -- I don't even know you and I'm proud of
you. Good luck.
— Tamara K.
November 13, 2002
Maybe its because I'm a hillbilly and live rural but until I accidently
crossed this website nearly 2 years ago I had NO CLUE that the RNY (or
others the the DS or VBG or lap band) was available. I'd heard of the
antique just stampling of the stomach from when I was a little kid, that
was it. After that the discovering health channel and other media have
really honed in on it. I think its great for letting people know what
actually out there. If I didn't know it was out there I'm sure there were
others who didn't know either. But what really fries my butt is people
giving you advise, showing you how they've lost 100 lbs (or more), how
"you can do it too, just eat right" when the only reason they've
lost and kept off their weight is because they had WLS. That isn't fair to
others to not admit to the surgery and let people believe that some miracle
diet did the trick. When one lady did this to me and looked her in the eye
and said, "you had weight loss surgery, didn't you". She had.
She had no intention of letting it be known but when faced with the direct
question she admitted to having the RNY done, even showed me her lap scars.
I still get angry thinking about how many others she probably lied to.
I'm mean there I was was standing there in a fitness center, me over 300
lbs unable to do most exercises telling me if I'd just do slimfast and a
baked potatoe for lunch that I could lose over 100 lbs just like her. I
think post ops should think carefully before throwing out mistruths. They
do affect other people and make this surgery look like something that needs
to be hidden.
— Shelly S.
November 13, 2002
Well the way I look at it EVERY bit of publicity saves more lives. I am
sorry you havent choosen to tell what you did. Undoubtedly some friends
fear you have cancer or AIDS. Do YOU know of ANYONE that successful lost
100 pounds or more fast and kept it off? I KNOW I DONT. WLS is nothing to
be ashamed of. I hope some day you tell your friends. You might save one of
their lives too.
— bob-haller
November 13, 2002
Patrick, I can't say that I agree with you about being angry concerning Al
going public. He made a personal decision to keep his surgery private (as a
lot of others have) which is well within their bounds to do. I did however
think to myself that now people will be asking me if that's what I did too.
I don't want the questions but when they come I will have to answer them.
Being a Christian I choose in advance not to lie but tell as much of the
truth as I feel is their business to know. I feel what Al did was a good
move even though it will shed a spotlight on me and my weight loss with
people who know me. Al wanted to make sure that the TRUTH of the matter
came out once it was out. There was a rumor that his wife made him do it.
Well since he came out with his story that cleared up all the rumors.
Straight from the horses mouth. I probably would do the same thing just so
that everyone would get the facts and not rumors so try not to be so hard
on him.
— wemax2
November 13, 2002
The one thing that irks me more than anything is gossip. I have found that
for myself, if I just tell the story like it is, it kills the gossip. I
told all my co-workers, family, and friends exactly what I was doing and
was proud that they were there for me along the way. Obesity is a disease.
I am not ashamed of having surgery to treat my disease. As a matter of
fact, I am so thoroughly proud of myself for doing something as 'gutsy' as
having a major surgery to help myself, that I LIKE to tell people about my
journey. This is all coming from a very private person for the most part.
Then again, this is just me.
— Jamie H.
November 13, 2002
I look at it this way - the more exposure that weight-loss surgery gets in
the public eye by celebrities like Carnie, Ann & Al coming out, the
more acceptable weight-loss surgery is going to have amongst the general
population. (It's not like the scales of America are tilting heavily
towards the obese level anyhow.) And the more acceptance that WLS has
amongst the population, the more likely it is that more people will be
approved for the WLS and the subsequent plastic surgery that is needed.
<p>
It's a shame that you have chosen to hide the fact that you have had WLS -
although it is your choice. Personally, I trumpet my WLS to anyone who is
interested in hearing my tale. If it wasn't for a fellow WLS patient that
had talked to my wife while she was in the hospital (for a non-related
problem), I probably wouldn't have had this surgery. This lady (who we
didn't know beforehand) lent my wife Barbara Thompson's book for me to
read. If that woman hadn't been so open about her WLS, I probably
wouldn't have had mine. And maybe someone that I influenced or will
influence wouldn't/won't have theirs...JR
— John Rushton
November 13, 2002
The more this surgery is known about, the more it will be done. The more
surgeries they do, the cheaper it becomes. The cheaper it becomes
(especially versus long term health problems) the more likely insurance
companies are to pay for it. The more likely people will live longer, more
productive, healthy, HAPPY lives. I am glad there are those with the guts
(no pun intended) to step into the spotlight so that many may benefit.
Think about the first heart transplant...I am so grateful for the man who
put himself and his family in the spotlight to help educate the world of
this marvel. The lives it has saved. God Bless Al, but God bless the
regular people who spread the word and educate thier employers as well.
And God bless you that you have been able to benefit from this as well - in
private or not (and congrats on 85 pounds gone!) Ok off my soapbox now.
:>)
— [Deactivated Member]
November 13, 2002
HI, I just wanted to say that I feel the way you do a bit. WLS has been
everywhere lately. But it will get to be too much where it feels like its
being glamourised(?). I know that if I hadn't watched Revealed with Jules
Asner when Carnie Wilson was on, I might have never looked into this
surgery, but sometimes its too much. I don't want to go from being the
"fat girl" to being the "girl who had WLS".
I am only telling the people that have to know. My choice.
— Des812
November 13, 2002
There were people I didn't tell ONLY because they were not educated on WLS.
I didn't want to have to deal with them thinking it was "the easy way
out". MOST thin people don't know the first thing about WLS even
though it has been on TV a lot lately. I just got a new job about 3 months
ago. Due to certain subjects being discussed in the break room I told a few
that I had lost over 100 pounds and even showed them my "before"
pictures. I did not tell them that I had surgery though. BUT, yesterday the
subject of gastric bypass surgery came up. There is a girl at work who is
planning on having it in January. SO, I came "out of the closet"
and told everyone who was sitting there that I had had the surgery back in
January. They were amazed. I got comments like "you don't LOOK like
you had the surgery" and "you were fat?" Again. I whipped
out my "before" pic and they were amazed. I think it is good that
Al, Carnie, and anyone else is going public with their surgeries. The
general public NEEDS to be educated on this. Obesity is a DISEASE not just
a bunch of fat people stuffing their faces. I hope more and more celebs
come forward so people change their veiws on obese people. Just my
opinion....
— Kim B.
November 13, 2002
While I understand Al Roker's desire to maintain his privacy,he really had
little or no choice but to "come out" with his surgery. He
checked into the hospital under an alias, but that did not good. The
National Enquirer and whoever sold details to them kind of forced the
issue. Getting angry really does no good, so why not focus on how to turn
it into something positive. I've not hidden my WLS from anyone. If
someone has a problem with that, that's their problem--not mine. I will
not hide the fact that I had WLS from anyone. I will not be intimidated
by anyone's misconception of what it means to be fat. Fat is not a crime.
Fat is a disease and I simply had the courage to do something about mine.
While I understand people's desire for privacy--I won't hide the fact and I
take every effort to share it with those that ask about it. We have
nothing to be ashamed of. The only shame is that people still have such
misconceptions about being overweight. As badly as I feel that Al Roker
couldn't maintain his desired privacy, he should be applauded for his
story. It might help someone. Many people say WLS is an easy way out.
But this has been far from easy and it's time people found out what it's
all about and how there is help for this disease.
— Cathy S.
November 13, 2002
I think it is great that Al told his story- then we will seem LESS freaky
to people who are clueless because the procedure is becoming more common.
One friend of mine called me last night and said, "NOW I understand
why you did this!" and she was crying because she just heard Al's
story.
I agree with one of the previous posters who said that telling people kills
the gossip. I don't seek people out and tell them, but I will not hide the
fact that I am proud to have finally taken control of my health and my
life.
Peace to you.
— kultgirl
November 13, 2002
Patrick, he didn't go public and rat on you! Why are you so angry? He was
telling HIS story, not yours. Keep your gallbladder story if that is what
works for you, its your business what you do with 'your story'. The same
way for Al, its his business what he does with his story. I applaud him
for informing the public. If it wasn't for Carnie, I wouldn't be healthy
and at goal today! You need to not worry so much about what others think.
That is a waste of time and energy. You need to worry more with how you
feel and how you view what you did to regain your health and life. Are you
ashamed of what you did? I tell anyone who is interested, and have led
many to WLS. It has been an accomplishment for me to see many gain their
health back too, all because I wanted to share the 'secret'. Circus
Freaks? I don't feel that way at all! And those that I tell are so amazed
and tell me how awesome it is. I'm proud of my WLS! It has blessed me
beyond words.
— Cheri M.
November 13, 2002
I'm one of those people who tells everyone I meet. If I'm in line at the
grocery store, WalMart, Target, Church, Movies, wherever, if someone makes
a comment, or sometimes I will overhear someone talking about Gastric
Bypass and I'll tell them I had it done, I'll even give them my surgeons
number. I wish someone had told me, I'm like most of you, I found out
after watching the Carnie Wilson special. I'm so very thankful that she
decided to share her surgery with the public, think of all the people she
has helped. I'm not ashamed, embarrased, nor do I think I took the easy
way out. I love my new life, my energy, health and just being able to do
the things I want. But it is a choice each person makes to tell or not, I
decided to tell, and I'll keep on telling as long as anyone wants to
listen. But you have a right to tell people whatever you want, just as
they have a right to believe you or not.
— Gail M.
November 13, 2002
I don't know if you're angry at his for blowing the "gall-bladder
cover" or if you are angry at him overall for coming forward for WLS,
or both. I am having surgery in (OMG!) 4 and a half weeks. I've decided
not to hide anything from my friends and family (I won't be telling the
people at work - quite franly, they aren't part of my personal life).
Maybe it's because I'm still in college and I'm constantly surrounded by
other people when I eat, but I think it's pointless to keep it hidden. Why
are you ashamed of this? You had the surgery to fix something that wasn't
your fault. I'm proud of Al for coming forward and clearing up some
misconceptions about all of this. And I also agree with the others that
said he didn't have much choice about coming forward - some sleezeball at
the hospital did that for him. I had my bf sit down and watch Dateline
with me, and while he didn't say much, I think it helps him "get
it." For some (particularly other men), this may save their lives.
For others, it just helps them understand why we need to do this. As Al
was talking about his childhood and his personal feelings on being MO, I
suddenly didn't feel so alone. Here was this celebrity describing just how
I feel. I think as more people come forward, it removes the stigma of WLS.
Should we be ashamed? Is this something dirty that we should keep hidden?
I don't think so. As a matter of fact, I think by sharing my journey with
some of my friends, I may be planting seeds in their minds and someday
(when they are ready) they may take the steps towards a more health life
through WLS. *stepping down from the soapbox*
— Toni C.
November 13, 2002
By the way... I don't know if that is your full name in your profile, but
anyone could come along doing a basic search on the internet, and finding a
person with your name in your city on a WLS message board talking about
hiding the surgery.... I would think that that would pretty much point
right at you. The internet is public domain and whatever you post here
becomes fodder for the world.
— Toni C.
November 13, 2002
While I am not angry for the reasons you are, I was a little disappointed
that Al claimed that all fat people didn't like themselves! Speak for
yourself, Al. While I didn't like being so big, I have really always liked
myself. As for telling others, I am a tell-all kind of gal. I am hoping my
example can help someone else. Open RNY March 19, 2002. Down 101 lbs.
— jm3218
November 14, 2002
I'm sorry, but I don't think you have any right to be angry with Al Roker
or any other celebrity or even non-celebrity who chooses to share his/her
story -- no matter what the story might be about. The more information
that's out there for people, the more people will be helped. And the people
contemplating weight loss surgery, who can't afford a computer or are
reluctant to go to a lot of classes pre-op, have access to information that
may help them make a life altering decision. If you are having a problem
handling all the questions maybe it's because you know in your heart you
are being deceptive. Be PROUD of what you have accomplished and quit
worrying about what other people think! -- Anna LAP RNY 7/3/02 -87lbs.
— Anna L.
November 14, 2002
I definitely empathize with your frustration on now being approached by
co-workers. I also plan on not telling very many people. One thing about
Al coming forward to remember is the fact that he was himself outed by
someone at the hospital, and had his face on the front of the Enquirer. I
actually admire his courage in then coming forward and saying, yes I hid my
surgery at first because I had my own reasons. My response to co-workers
is "Thanks for noticing my hard work" and nothing more. It's
frankly none of their business! Congrats on you own success, and hang in
there.
— Alice H.
November 14, 2002
I, for one, am glad that Al and Carnie have shared their personal stories
with the public. If I hadn't seen Carnie's story, I may not have pursued
and researched the WLS. I think it is important for WLS to have such
public role models to promote the positive aspects of this surgery. Now, as
for sharing your surgery story with others, I shared with family and close
friends only. No one at work knows, though a previous poster is correct
that a search on the web could "out me". When asked how I lost
the weight I tell the truth - small quantities, frequent meals, protein
first, lots of water and exercise. But, again, I haven't been confronted
with the direct question, "did you have WLS?" Thats a tough one.
I don't think I would share with co-workers as I like to keep the personal
life private, but I think I would share with others "seeking" my
story, like at support group meetings. What I do agree with though is that
it is totally your decision whether to lie, tell the truth, share some or
all of your journey with whomever you care to tell. But don't be angry
with Al. We need role models like him.
— Cindy R.
November 14, 2002
— Amber L.
November 14, 2002
People who ask are curious- however; still it's really none of their
business. Do what you must to keep your privacy. Ask them point blank why
they ask, "is it because of Al Roker" they will then realize how
silly they sound, you can explain to them that your time away from work/and
your health is really none of anyones business.... As for AL, I personally
could care less what he does or says- I mean as a person I am glad he is
making a health change. But the whole site is buzzing about him- and why?
Because he delivers the weather report? This website has a thousand more
people who have "been there, done that"... I personally don't
need Al or Carnie as my spokesperson.
— Karen R.
November 14, 2002
I'm having surgery Monday. I haven't told a lot of people, including my
elderly mother who is a world-class worrier. I just have not wanted to deal
with trying to defend/explain myself at this point- I didn't make this
decision overnight. Afterwards, I will probably tell more people, and
certainly won't lie about it. I read Al's story and what really made me
angry was that someone at the hospital took money for confidential
information. I'm in health care myself, and this *should not* have
happened. If they find out who did it, he or she should be fired
immediately. It's unconscionable that someone did this. Al Roker's
personal information is his personal information and no one has the right
to share it without his permission. It should have been his decision
whether or not to tell, just as it should be each of ours. As for people
asking nosy personal questions, treat that one the same as any other: a
cold stare and an icy "I can't imagine why you'd want to know
that."
— Susan A.
November 14, 2002
Hi Patrick:
I can understand how you feel. However, I am not angry with Al Roker. My
only question is, how in the world did Al Roker not expect to be found out.
A camera crew accompanied him to the hospital. This would certainly be
something to attract additional attention. In my opinion, Al Roker had all
intentions of going public with his WLS, just not at the beginning. Like
all of us, he wanted to make sure that this worked before admitting
everything to the world. I agree that the person who spoke with the
National Inquirer should be fired, if they were indeed a hospital employee.
My gut feeling is that Al Roker intended to make a public announcement,
and hence a newsworthy story about his WLS. That is his right, just as not
divulging the details about your WLS is your right. Because of Al Roker,
however, WLS is in the public consciousness and people will suspect that
those of us who are losing a great deal of weight had surgery. The truth
is that almost no one loses 100 pounds or more and keeps it off without
WLS. We all know that. Otherwise we would not be on this site. That
said, you are not a public figure, and are entitled to keep your WLS
private. Anyone who asks should expect a non-answer for being so nosy and
rude.
Love Grace
— Grace H.
November 14, 2002
I think I feel both ways sometimes. While I don't mind giving detailed
information on my surgery to my family and close friends, I don't like it
being discussed in public or with people I am not familiar with. I feel
like they look at me differently knowing I used to be "big". I
remember a long time ago, someone posted a message that gave an experience
I will never forget. She was out to dinner. Someone she had never met or
seen before took it upon themselves to go up to her, produce a WLS card and
tell this woman she should look into it. Granted, the lady was a post-op,
but that was none of her business and not her place to ever give advise
like that to someone she had never met before. The gall of some people
amaze me. Some people are very private people and that is fine. Some like
to talk about their life experiences and that is fine, too. It is up to
ourselfs to determine what route we will take with our privacy and not to
feel badly about whatever decision we make. Good luck to you and your
family!!!
— Marni R.
November 14, 2002
You must not have listened very well to his interview, He had no intention
of telling of his surgery.. he was outed by The National Enquirer who
recieved all of his medical information from a hospital employee!!! We as
regular people have the luxury of covering up our surgery, there is no
media there lurking in the corners of the hospital filming us, He is a
celebrity everything he does will be critisized and is under the magnifing
glass. Coming clean was not his choice, it was made by others who are money
hungry and cannot mind thier own business!!!!!!!!!!!
— Tanya J.
November 14, 2002
Patrick, if you feel ticked at AL for making you feel like you were under a
microscope I understand and I don't blame you. My personal life is
PERSONAL as is yours. A comment about the posts below that said that Al
did not want this to go public are not exactly correct. On Dateline, they
showed him on the operating table and showed him out cold with the medical
instruments sticking out of his stomach. Was he having his 'personal, Im
not telling anyone' surgery taped for posterity??? NO he planned to 'come
out of the wls closet' eventually. Patrick, I think I am staying in the
closet with you!! Like the lady below said I am not going from fat girl to
wls posterchild, I just wanna be one of the crowd.
— cherokey55
November 14, 2002
I am not angry at Al, I do think we need role models and face it famous
folks tend to do that. I read Carnie's book before my surgery and it
helped me so much and helped me mentally prepare for the surgery. I am
tired of co-workers asking me, if I had surgery or the few that did know
blabbing to others. I just tell who I want to and others I just say no, it
isn't any of their business. You tell who you want and if that is no one
that is your right!
— Shari H.
November 14, 2002
Carnie Wilson and Al Roker have inspired me so much. I am very THANKFUL
that they came out and hope their stories will inspire others. I am NOT
ashamed in anyway. I don't feel like a circus freak, there are SO many
obese people in this country that I feel the skinny model like people are
the minority! The Cosmo and GQ cover people are circus freaks...NOT the
normal overweight girl/guy. They look sickening. In the words of Al
Roker, "I just want to give them a cookie" Sorry just had to add
my two cents. I hope I didn't offend too much....
— Ruby S.
November 17, 2002
I'm not angry with Al Roker and his decision to go public, but I will admit
to being uncomfortable with it. I too chose to keep this surgery private,
telling only a handful of people. I never told my immediate boss what the
surgery was for, but he must have overheard me, either on the phone, or
talking with a very close co-worker, because, not only did he offer me his
unsoliciated opinion on how crazy I was to have this surgery, he told the
big boss, who told anyone who cared to listen. Imagine how I felt when I
got back to work after surgery, and a co-worker from the home office called
and asked me how much weight I'd lost. I was mortified. I also didn't tell
my ex, though he's done everything to try to find out - and I believe he's
found this web site and read my profile (one of the reasons I rarely post
anymore). My surgery was almost a year ago, and is rarely talked about
anymore, but I imagine after Al's interview, people were buzzing again
about how "I" did that. Considering there's a guy in the home
office, who I've been having a serious flirtation with, who was hired after
my surgery, I am not very happy with the thought he may have heard people
gossiping about me. On the other hand, Al did a great job in telling how
emotionally painful it is to be obese. I'd actually forgetten, and
listening to him brought tears to my eyes. All we can do is keep telling
ourselves, "this too shall pass"....until someone else
"comes out of the closet".
— Cyndie K.
November 17, 2002
When I had surgery I intended on not telling everybody and thier brother as
I felt (and still do) that it was my private decision to make and live
with. However, my mother in law called the day I had surgery and when I
wasn't home asked my 23 year old son where I was and his reply :
"getting her stomach cut in half to loose weight" . OUTED BIG
TIME! She of course prceded to tell every reletive across the country who
all wanted to hear all about it. Amazingly all were supportive and several
were actually fairly familiar with it even tho NONE of them ever had an
extra pound in their lives. The reason they were well educated was
watching Al Roker and other public individuals who had the courage to come
out and talk about it. Al and Carnie's openness have made me seem less of
a "circus freak". Now I talk about it to whoever asks. The
reason is that some of these people may need this information as
desparately as I did to SAVE THEIR LIVES!
— **willow**
January 1, 2003
I hear what you are saying, "gall bladder surgery" is like a
code word for WLS now. I told relatives I was going into the hospital for
gall bladder surgery because I do not want to share the rest of it. Now I
get the "oh really look", but too late to back track. Tell or do
not tell, but I believe he knows lots of people use that excuse to explain
their absents and he did too, being so careless when he no longer wanted
the guise hurts others.
— K B.
January 1, 2003
WlS is NOTHING to be ashamed of! I think Al helped so many of our MO
brothers and sisters. Ones that never heard of surgery or thought it nuts.
Seeing him successful no dobt brings more folks here, saving their lives. I
am sorry your unhappy. But WLS apparently helped you. What if you didnt
know about it? Without surgery how would you health and life be today?
— bob-haller
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