Question:
Please help I was given a surgery date of Dec 19 to have lap RYN,

I don't want to turn down date but I have three kids 12, 9, 5, and it's 6days before christmas. Please let me know what you think will I be able to be there with them? Also they are out of school for christmas vacation which means I won't get much rest even when Hubby is home they always want MOM.What should I do ??? Kathy    — kathy B. (posted on October 29, 2002)

October 29, 2002
Boy, I feel for you. This is a tough call. I totally understand not wanting to turn down a date because you probably had to wait a long time to get it. The obvious question is, have you asked them if you could postpone it until right after Christmas? I would start there.
   — Kathy S.

October 29, 2002
Kathy, I know you would like to be 100% for your family for holidays, but, you know how long it took you to get to this point. If you try to change the date,the surgeon may take it as a "nerves" thing and try to put it off for a great length of time. I would think really hard before I did anything. Remember, THIS IS YOUR GIFT, YOUR LIFE, there will always be christmas, but will you always be there? I am scheduled for lap rny November 22, just a few days before Thanksgiving. I usually cook for 40 people. This year I'm not going to do it. I have an understanding with myself to not let ANYTHING including family prevent me from giving myself this gift. Don't mean to be so draumatic, but for me it is. Just think about it OK?
   — Leigh G.

October 29, 2002
Kathy, I was physically fine by 6 days, but I was having alot of mental distress over food issues. I just wanted you to know that since the holidays are usually full of goodies and you won't even be out (post-op) long enough to try a little bit of this and a little bit of that. I agree with Leigh- you deserve to get this done as soon as possible. If it is really bothering you, contact your surgeon's office and ask if they could tell you when you could change it to and go from there. It may be a couple of weeks later, but it may be several months later. Its worth a try! Best of luck, Sweetie!....Karen (lap RNY-5 1/2 wks post-op, down 56 pounds)
   — karmiausnic

October 29, 2002
First, your kids are old enough to help themselves (with your guidance) and old enough to understand about Mommy recooperating. Second, you'll feel well enough at 6 days to enjoy Christmas with them...just not be eating any of the 'goodies'. Third, Easter was the day before my surgery. I was on the bowel prep and quite frankly was miserable. I boo-hoo'd about not being able to eat dinner or any candy whatsoever. It was a miserable EAster BUT (and this is the important part) I am SO GLAD that I went ahead and did it. My family wanted me to post-pone until after the holidays and I'm so happy I didn't. There will always be something coming up or something going on that could cause you to delay. My advise is to Thank God that your date is coming up quickly, focus on the family instead of the food at Christmas and realize that next year there will be a whole new you at that Christmas celebration! Good luck and God Bless, Leah
   — Leah H.

October 29, 2002
First of all, how well you feel six days after surgery depends on how cooperative you are right after the procedure. Walking is very important, no matter how sore you feel, to get things back to optimal working shape. Using your incentive spirometer as many times as you can will increase your oxygen and help you to breathe helping in your recovery. And last, as hard as it seems, you need to get as much water in you as they tell you to. Forget about the food and goodies and concentrate on the fun and goodtimes. Six days after my surgery I went to the mall shopping with my husband We walked up and down and had a ball. I came home and took a nap, got up and we went to a show. But I stress being compliant with doctors orders. Believe it or not, your kids will be a big help in your recouperating and it could turn into a very special time between all of you. Kids like to be needed also. It makes them feel very grown-up.
   — Sue A.

October 29, 2002
Kathy, I say go for it. Think of how great every Christmas after this one will be. My surgery will be on December 9th, and I am having open. Since I am having to go out of town, I will not be getting back home until the 19th. I have two children and they are 10 and 5. What I have been trying to do is explain now to my baby that I will be sore, and that we are going to have to be careful of mommy's tummy, and that i will be really tired for a little while. I talk to them about it on a regular basis, so that when the time comes we can just remind her and she will understand. I have already started getting my shopping done so that all will be handled before I leave, and when I get home I will not have to worry about that last minute thing that you always seem to forget to pick up for them. I am really trying to focus right now on getting things together for them to have a great Christmas. All the preparation and shopping is also helping me to pass the time. All in all, it may not be the easiest Christmas that I have, but I think that in the long run I will be happy that I did it. What a great way to start the new year! Just try to be really positive, and do what you think is going to be the best for all of you! I think that if you follow your doctors orders and stay really positive about it all, you will do just fine! Good luck, and just remember, healthier and happier days to come!
   — poohdotsmom2

October 30, 2002
I agree with Kathy S. If they could schedule you for 12/29 instead of 12/19, it would make a world of difference. That should still be a time where the hospital has a light OR schedule, and hopefully your surgeon has no other plans. No matter how successful the surgery, Christmas is not a good time to have to deal with food issues right after surgery. 10 days later should make it easier from every angle, if your surgeon is willing. Good luck!
   — Arlene S.

November 2, 2002
Kathy, have you thought of celebrating Christmas early this year? Tell the little ones that Santa heard you are having surgery and he wanted to bring the gifts early this year. Then maybe there could be one more gift for each child under the tree on the actual Christmas day as a thank you from Mom and Dad for all the help the kids will be giving you while you are getting better. Good luck with whatever you decide!
   — Delores M.