Question:
I was so excited about my upcoming surgery, so why am I doubting myself today?

I am 7 weeks away from surgery and today I feel that I wish I could have one last good try at non-surgical weight loss. There are diets out there that I haven't tried, though few and far between. I feel this way today; but I know my heart won't be in any other type of weight loss plan because I know I'm only going to gain it back. Two years ago I lost 45 pounds on Weight Watchers in 10 weeks. Get this: I even cheated! LOL. I kept it off for nearly nine months but within the following year I gained it back along with an extra 20! I've been so discouraged since then and haven't even been able to maintain any attempts at dieting for more than a few days, one week tops! Are second thoughts normal so far away from surgery or am I just not ready for this? Thanks    — denisel (posted on August 28, 2002)

August 27, 2002
Denise, I don't know if this helps or not but I've been feeling the same way. I just started this long process before I'll even attempt at being approved and I'm already having second thoughts. It just seems so radical a thing to do. But then there are days, especially when I look at the timeline I drew up for my PCP on my dieting and weight loss and gains...twenty years of this and I feel like, okay here is a ray of hope. But then I guess it's hard to hear the not so good stuff that can happen once you've had the surgery. Maybe I'm trying to sabatoge myself into this thinking. I'm trying to keep myself from having this surgery and losing this weight because maybe I keep this weight as a shield or something. I don't know, I'm not a psychologist. I know a part of me, deep down there, is afraid of being thin because it means that I'll be more out there and accessible to other people. I've been burned by friends and men along the way, it's hard for me to open myself to people as I once did almost twenty years ago. I'm still friendly and a real nice person (I'd like to think so anyway) but I have a hard time really working at keeping a friendship because it means I have to be open to it. This is longwinded...more than I originally intended to answer, but I have to thank you, :), because you're helping me work out my fear of this whole thing. I'm not so scared of the surgery itself. I'm not even worried about losing some food choices. I think it's seeing a whole new and improved me emerge as time goes on after the surgery and maybe the changes that go along on a personal and emotional level too. We have all these psych evals BEFORE surgery, for you and I and other people like us, having the psych support AFTER is imperative to make it work for us. What do you think? I'd love to know how you feel. If you prefer to make it private, email me at [email protected]
   — jenlaur1

August 27, 2002
Denise- It is natural to have second thoughts. The second thoughts made me get really honest with myself. Here are some things that helped me move forward. The truth was no diet had worked in the past and no diet was going to work alone in the future for me. I was Morbidly obese and it would take years of strict dieting to lose the weight (200lbs). I am an emotional eater, and I hestitated dealing with that issue. But having my food intake restricted would force me to deal with them and find more productive ways to handle the emotions. You have to get to the point where you feel you have tried all non-surgerical approaches. If you do not feel that way, you are not ready for the surgery. You have 10 weeks before the surgery try a new diet and if it works for you, cancel the surgery. Best wishes, Cheryl LapRNY 3 months/70lbs
   — Cheryl S.

August 27, 2002
Hi Denise... I am in the very beginning stages of getting approval and such to have the RNY done. I truly believe that apprehension about the surgery and the dramatic changes you must make is normal!!! I'm no expert, but I think that, because this is such a huge change in your life, the doubt that you feel may be your mind's way of making sure this is what you really want to do. Think of all the changes you will make. Think of all the benefits, that may sometimes feel like costs, of this surgery. If you weren't apprehensive, I'd be concerned!! Remember, you are doing this to stay alive!! I encourage you to search within yourself and make sure this is what you want to do. If you can say, without major trepidation, that you are ready to make this change, then do your thing!! I'll tell ya, when I sat down and made a list of all my weight loss attempts and my weight over the last 21 years, I realize that, while this is a huge undertaking, it is what will finally get me to where I need and want to be! Search your heart. Search your soul. The answer is there. God Bless. Kuri
   — blessednblu

August 27, 2002
I did the last diet thing before WLS. In 3 months of mostly eating just ONE small meal a day I lost 25 pounds and was MISERABLE! No reakfast, no lunch no snacks, dinner a small grilled steak and small glass of sugar free chocloate milk, and NOTHING till the next day at dinner:( I ate just one meal cause once I ate ANYTHING I couldnt stop. I would eat all day. After 3 mnths I gave up after eating 2 meals a day and started regaining the weight.<P> For ME WLS is WAY EASIER THAN DIETING! Post op is the place to be!!!
   — bob-haller

August 27, 2002
Very normal...today you will doubt, tomorrow you will be excited., and on and on it will go until surgery. IF you are wonder about one last diet try, go ahead, try it, you have 7 weeks to surgery. IF you do lose some weight, it will be better for you at the time of surgery anyway. It may reinforce to you why you need this surgery. Good Luck in making this decision.
   — Vicki L.

August 28, 2002
You are "human" and "scared". We ALL were there before surgery. In my case I fought my insurance company for nine months. Once that finally went through I got a FAST surgery date. If I remember right, I only had 7 or 8 days to "sweat it out". Which I am thankful for. lol
   — Danmark

August 28, 2002
{{hugs}} what you are going through is normal tho i agree that you should examine your motives for the surgery and be sure you are doing it for yourself and to be healthy (not thin and beautiful - if that happens it is an added bonus, btw you are beautiful no matter what you weigh!) i suggest you: 1. attend wls surgery support groups - they are sooo valuable to connect with others who've gone through what you're going through 2. you may think about counseling, find a therapist who has experience with wls...it's good to have someone to bounce your thoughts off of 3. join an online support group - there are lots on yahoo and msn 4. start a journal and write down all the reasons for this surgery - including all the things you cannot do because of your weight and what you want to be able to do after surgery. 5. take lots of pre op pics but don't develop them until post op...you'll be amazed at the difference feel free to email me anytime! [email protected] {{hugs}} kate open rny 6-14-01 pre op: 268lbs goal weight: 135lbs current weight: 130lbs
   — jkb

August 28, 2002
Hi Denise...I know what you mean...just when I started getting positive feedback from insurance and everything is pretty much a go...I find myself wondering..."hmmm..could I lose this weight any other way". The answer is probably, yes, I could lose some, but, like in the past, it would come back and then some...I also think that non-educated people's opinion of WLS has been affecting me. Some people who don't know what they are talking about are so discouraging about it and it just naturally brings you down. Chin up! Join a support group and read, read, read on this site!
   — Amy S.