Question:
I'm again turning to my friends for support my husband says that i have a big head
He says I have a big head and walk around like I'm Miss America.I started out at 303 and three months later I'm 233. Hate to say it but... I feel like Miss America. Is that being selfish. I'm not sure my marriage is going to last with me loseing all this weight. Has any one else ended up separated from their spouse ? I would love to hear from you. Thanks everyone!!!!!!!!!! — sarah C. (posted on July 17, 2002)
July 17, 2002
I made the mistake of explaining my committment to getting to the gym as
" when I become invested in something that is important to me, I have
been known to be self absorbed" I laughed and explained to him that
he shouldn't worry too much - it is usually short lived! So, now that is
our standing joke. Personally, I think that we all deserve to be TREATED
like we are Miss or Ms. or Mr. America! Good Luck!
— Jean K.
July 17, 2002
Girl, YOU GO, Mrs.,Ms., or Miss America!! It's your turn and you DESERVE
ALL of the good treatment that you can get!!~~!Hadiyah~~!
— yourdivaness
July 17, 2002
Oh Sweetie! Do you really think he is sincere when he says that? I would be
upset too, but don't start thinking your marriage is in trouble. Have you
tried talking to him about it? Is this the only thing he is saying or is he
being unsupportive all around? Communication is key here. To lose that much
weight would make most people feel incredible and it should! Talk to him
about it Sarah. Let him know that it is pushing you away....Please call me
if you need to talk.
— karmiausnic
July 17, 2002
Oh Honey, my DH told me that I was getting a big head recently after
reaching goal and getting a TT. I told him look darn it, after spending so
many years having a big butt, I'll indulge myself in the big head for a
while. LOL
Every single person taking this part, regardless of what stage you are on
deserves a little bit of a "big head" once in a while!! Good
luck and GO FOR IT!!!
~CAE~
— Mustang
July 17, 2002
Remember how insecure you felt with the extra weight on? Try to remember
that your honey may be feeling a bit insecure now as well. I am sure he
doesn't mean to hurt you when he says that....remember it is a big change
for him as well.
— Kate M.
July 17, 2002
Tell your hubby its better to have a big head than a big everything else.
You deserve to walk with your head held hi. This is just his insecurity
coming out. Show lots of love and rub his belly. Good luck.
— Chris9672
July 17, 2002
Sarah, you're not being selfish. You've worked hard for that 70 pounds.
Enjoy it! Last night I asked my boyfriend if my butt looks smaller (I'm
trying to get a sense of where I'm losing). His response was "You're
so vain now." That wasn't exactly the response I was looking for! By
the way, my boyfriend also thinks I'm going to leave him because I'm
getting thinner. Sometimes I think he doesn't understand the concept of
love. Anyway, shall I sing it? Here she comes ... Miss America! We're on
our way. :o)
— Jennifer A.
July 17, 2002
Hey, are you sure he is being critical versus making an observation? Maybe
he is opening the channels of communication on how good you look and feel
to be reassured that you are not toying with "playing elsewhere"?
Statistically, there is a 70 to 80 percent chance of divorce post op. The
odds go up to near 100% if one of two MO spouses have the surgery, while
the other does not. With these kind of odds, and your question here, maybe
you would consider talking to your pastor or whomever, finding a marriage
counselor, or even asking your surgeon for a recommendation of who to see.
Don't let your success undermine a positive relationship -- if it ever was
that. If it is worth saving, or MIGHT be worth saving, make some phone
calls tomorrow to start saving it. By the way, I have lost 33 pounds --
down to 292 -- and I am snickering to myself as my husband keeps pinching,
squeezing, and complimenting me. A far cry from where we were in December,
when he thought obesity was going to kill me and was angry that I continued
to make bad choices, and I was so darned unhappy with my weight that I
stayed away from him as much as he stayed away from me. You be Miss
America! You and he have both earned it!
— Karen F.
July 17, 2002
Anyone you love should never let you think you're anything less than Miss
America...
— Kimberley E.
July 18, 2002
True statistic: 68% of marriages DO NOT survive WLS!! Kind of a staggering
number-
I beleive weight loss will make a good marriage better and a not so great
marriage - worse! As we gain confidence and independence- some of our
partners cannot handle the fact that we are not "the same" when
in fact WE ARE BETTER!!!
— ~~Stacie~~
July 18, 2002
— tannedtigress
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